Overcoming Obstacles To New Experiences

According to the radio program Time Warp, I’m a ‘highly focused person’. If you meet me at a restaurant, I will not be late, because I can’t do that. It took me a long time to understand that what this meant for me was: “I hate to leave.”

Back then, I had written my dream of working in fashion off as out of reach, because I was gay and Jewish. In my teens, I left home to escape prejudice and to attend Catholic high school. However, I had to keep my Jewishness a secret because my school was as homo as a Red Lobster after church on Sundays.

At Catholic school, I got bullied for it, and at 16 they dropped me out. There’s no place for someone like me in a place like that, I thought. There was no future for me there. The real world was out there, and I had to get there. I just didn’t know where that was. But I was afraid.

At 17, I took a job at a pizza place to avoid having to look for another one. I didn’t have a car and was not yet driving. My salary was $5.50 an hour. I lived in an apartment complex that was full of neighborhood drug dealers, ex-cons, and others that my grandmother would not have let me set foot in. I had no money, and I was determined not to fall prey to any of them.

Furthermore, I was in survival mode, and I continued to work and raise my son. Over time, I met my now-husband, Marc, who gave me some much-needed life lessons. He would encourage me to make a career change. I was determined to keep a low profile because I wanted no more trouble, but Marc was the opposite: he wasn’t afraid to stand out.

Gradually, I liked myself, and things improved. Marc got a full-time job, and I could move out on my own. My life became my own again, and my goal was to move out of the inner city and into New York City.

I couldn't imagine myself in a job where I would interact with people and work in an office. But I knew I would be happier if I could pull it off. I took my GED and tried to get into an office. I learned that there was a government office for people like me. They had a computer center for people who were trying to get out of public help. I filled out applications, but I didn’t get any interviews.

A few years later, when my son was nearly four, I tried again. This time, they gave me a personal mentor who taught me how to write a cover letter and how to write resumes. I eventually was given a process at a name center. Even though I hated the work, I was out at work, and there was a time when I could afford to go out to lunch every day.

I could land jobs throughout my career, and my work ultimately led me to a job in PR. I found my firm, and I had a team working under me for several years.

However, I could not see myself being happy doing what I was doing. I didn’t see myself becoming one of those highly successful people who go around to museums, walk in Central Park, or enjoy lunch at the Yotel.

I always saw myself as more of a stay-at-home parent than a businesswoman. Now I know that someday my son will get out on his own and move out on his own. We had talked about this once when he was little, but I had always looked at him and told myself that he would never be one of those grownups who do nothing but sit around eating Cheetos and playing on their iPhones. Now, of course, I think I was wrong. My son is a very responsible young man who does his homework on his own and keeps his room clean. I hope someday to look back on his college experience and know that I played a part in that.

Although I have been privileged to work and travel the world, I am often stopped on the street and asked for my photo. When my photo is taken, people typically tell me how good-looking I am and how much they miss having people like me around. It is something that is not lost on me. I realize that there is something special about me, and there is more to life than just work. I want to leave something behind that people can look back on and remember.

Now that I’ve learned to accept my physical appearance, I have also come to terms with my struggle with acne. People ask me if I use any treatments or have been prescribed any medicines for my acne. I tell them I use a simple scrub, facial wash, and moisturizer. I don’t wear any makeup, because I don’t want the outside to influence the inside. Furthermore, I want my body and face to be something I don’t have to worry about anymore.