Now Pronounce You Husband & Dead

INT. KITCHEN. 10 AM

A bridegroom's body is dressed up in black attire, laid across the wooden floor motionless.

FADE TO ON:

A Chef shouts out "line-up!" he describes a special order to be crafted to his culinary staff. He holds a chocolate cake recipe that reads food allergen at the top.

CHEF STEFAN

"My brother TORREON, can't eat dairy. His cake must be dairy-free. Avoid using the three dairy ingredients, milk, butter & cheese for his life depends on it."

CULINARY ARTIST

"CHEF STEFAN, what should we use in replacement of eggs?"

CHEF STEFAN

"Eggs will be accounted for in this recipe... I want to clarify something, eggs are not classified as dairy, considering egg is found in the dairy aisle of grocery stores is a false accusation that eggs are dairy when in actuality they are not. We'll use artificial ingredients."

CULINARY ARTIST

"Excuse me!, but I'll go an hour out of my may to the store for soy, coconut, anything better than any chemical-made cake to make sure your brother gets the special wedding he deserves."

CHEF STEFAN

"Much appreciated, I do like your initiative reaction, concerning my brother's metabolic disorder. Though, by walking out that back door you are subject to be terminated."

The CULINARY ARTIST stands before the door with his hands set on the lever, ready to push it wide open to the outside world.

CHEF STEFAN continues

"While those natural ingredients would taste & ultimately be more satisfying, it's just that time is against us, unfortunately. Believe me, I would go the distance myself, if time wasn't a pressing issue. I do understand guys and gals aren't persuaded by my decision-making. Since ya'll are against the idea of using preservatives and so forth, instead can we agree to use vanilla extract as a substitute?"

CULINARY ARTIST

"I'm going out for a smoke break."

CHEF STEFAN

"Great!, who has any questions or comments?"

CULINARY ARTIST (2)

"I have one CHEF."

CHEF STEFAN

"Shure!"

CULINARY ARTIST (2)

"So what are eggs classified as then?"

CHEF STEFAN

"To properly give a correct description, they should be known as poultry." "Reason be, birds lay eggs. Anybody else?"

CULINARY ARTIST (3)

"Yeah!, I'd like to ask, what is your brother's condition exactly?"

CHEF STEFAN

"Galactosemia!"

CULINARY ARTIST (3)

"Could you please elaborate!"

CHEF STEFAN

"The best example how I can describe it is this, think of a missing puzzle piece. He is missing an enzyme to process milk, butter, and cheese properly."

CHEF dips a silicone spatula into the mixing bowl filled with chocolate icing. He unscrews the vial of vanilla extract, tosses a capful of the liquid in, gently stir, pulls out his spatula, and licks it clean.

CHEF STEFAN continues

"YUUUUMY!, But don't just take my word for it, google it. Find the definition on your own for goodness sake, you've got phones."

CHEF STEFAN turns his phone on to read the time, one hour & thirty minutes have passed, then he silences his phone for respect.

INT/ EXT. CASTLE HALL/ ALTER. 12 PM

CHEF STEFAN has become aware of his employee taken extended leisure. He wanders the castle halls in search of him. CHEF STEFAN steps outside and finds the bride & bridegroom standing by a chocolate cake.

He ponders on the thought of how this cake came about. He knows very well that it isn't the special chocolate cake that his culinary staff is finetuning the finishing touches on in the kitchen.

The newlyweds together hold a knife steadily against the chocolate cake. They effortlessly cut through the cake. Triangle shape slices fit firmly in each couple's hand and TORREON begins shoving the cake in GENNIE'S mouth.

CHEF STEFAN begins to put one foot in front of the other to build his momentum. His mouth is moving but words are not being vocalized. From out of the corner of his eye, he sees his employee smoking a cigarette smirking back at him.

GENNIE mirrors TORREON'S action.

CHEF STEFAN yells "DON'T!"

The happily just married couple are entranced with each other's exuberant smiles and laughter.

Cake crumbs and icing are on each other's over-exaggerated happy faces. TORREON comes in for a kiss. His lips connect just barely with GENNIE'S. Suddenly TORREON breathes softer and slower. He is sweating profoundly. A yellow tone in the color of his skin and lips appear visible. His fatigue is draining. He has no strength to stand. He falls to his knees, regurgitates his desert along the way.

Despite him throwing up, GENNIE crouches to his level and she wraps his arms around her body and her arms around him. She supports him to stand once more. The trajectory upon standing up quickly throws their bodies off balance, setting them up to weeble wobble thus a most beautiful, original, choreographed dance was created.

GENNIE is silently CRYING while dancing with her husband. Then his hands and arms fall limp. His lower body sweeps him off his feet and hits the ground. He has become paralyzed.

TORREON the bridegroom, his body is dressed up in black attire, is laid across the wooden floor motionless. Suddenly feet appear and bend down next to his body. Somebody scoops him up, now his body is being lifted off the wooden floor and carried away soon to realize it is his brother STEPHAN.