Mirages

NIGELLA LEE

Silently, I trailed behind the head of the registrar's office. Ever since I entered through the main gate of the campus, their gazes had been different and peculiar. Whispers filled the air, creating a symphony of murmurs. I curiously glanced up at him as we came to a halt in front of the principal's office. It was my first-time stepping foot in such a place. He opened the door for me and gestured for me to enter. My eyes widened in surprise as I beheld the individuals seated at the long table. Yet, it was only one person who evoked a sense of unease within me.

"What is she doing here?" I wondered aloud, my voice a mere whisper.

The principal sat at the far end, with the head across from him. Aunty, on the other hand, occupied the seat on the right side, facing the two unfamiliar women. Yet, amidst all the sinister glances I had witnessed, it was those two who sent shivers down my spine. I had an unsettling feeling that they could pounce on me at any given moment.

The principal cleared his throat, breaking the tense silence that enveloped the room. "Sit down, Ms. Lee," he said, his tone laced with authority.

I quietly took a seat beside Aunty, unable to suppress my curiosity. There had been numerous occasions when she was summoned to the school, but this was the first time she had actually come. I couldn't comprehend what was happening, and a sense of guilt washed over me. It felt as if I had done something wrong.

I shifted uncomfortably closer to her, my voice trembling. "A-aunty..." I began, but she didn't acknowledge me, keeping her gaze lowered. The principal coughed lightly, drawing our attention back to him. He adjusted his glasses, intertwining his fingers and placing them on top of the table. His eyes scanned each person in the room, but then he paused, fixing his gaze on me. It was the first time I had seen him so serious.

"Revenge is not a word to define the golden rule," he began, his voice resonating with authority. "How do you feel, Ms. Lee? Has your resentment lessened?" I furrowed my brows in confusion, mirroring the crease on his forehead.

"Do you not remember anything?" the principal asked.

"Pardon?" I replied, my voice tinged with confusion.

What did he mean by that?

"It seems like your nephew hit his own head. Let me remind him of everything," the head said with a sly smile, addressing Aunty but looking directly at me. I became even more bewildered. The principal gestured to the head, who nodded and turned the laptop towards us. The CCTV footage started playing, capturing the attention of everyone in the room.

In the video, I could be seen walking alone in the hallway. After a few moments, I was stopped by the elderly janitress. I knew her well, and her constant nagging about my necklace was etched clearly in my memory. There was also an unusual sense of unease whenever I saw her. I quickly tried to run, but she didn't chase after me as she often did, especially outside the school. I was about to twist the doorknob to the classroom when two girls blocked my path. I knew them too well, as they were the frequent bearers of misfortune every morning. They forcefully dragged me towards the restroom. They pushed me inside, and to this day, there is still a bump on my head from the impact on the bowl. They doused me with a bucket of foul-smelling mud from the drain. Unsatisfied, they threw the bucket at me, hitting my elbow, leaving a bruise that remains visible to this day.

As usual, I held back the tears threatening to spill. I would rise to my feet as if nothing hurt me. I would begin to clean myself up, stepping outside and walking back in as if nothing had happened.

I smiled bitterly. For three months, I endured their relentless bullying. For three months, I kept it hidden from Aunty, knowing she wouldn't care even if she found out. For three months, I suffered from the removal of stains. In those three months, I never ran out of bruises, welts, and bodily pain. I also stopped trying to report them. Not because I would only be further condemned, as I was before, but because they were rich. I took a deep breath, refocusing my attention on the video.

I could see myself walking alone in the hallway again. However, it was surprising to see that I was opening a different door. It was the door to their classroom. I was taken aback when I saw myself dragging those two girls the same way they dragged me. Chaos ensued. Some tried to intervene and stop me, but they failed. I pushed the two girls into the restroom. Before I followed them inside, I looked up at the CCTV camera, as if staring at anyone who might be watching me. I punched it, ending the video.

Aunty clenched her fist tightly. The gaze of the two women grew darker, their eyes burning with anger. They stood up and pointed accusing fingers at me.

"Look what you've done to my daughter!"

"Our children are still unconscious!"

"You will pay for this!"

I shook my head repeatedly. I didn't understand what they were saying. I couldn't comprehend the video either. I had no recollection of doing such a thing, of seeking revenge against them. I was certain that it wasn't me. I couldn't possibly do something like that. A sense of melancholy washed over me, and I hung my head low.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I would never do such a thing."

"What?!"

I could only continue to shake my head. The puzzling part was why I couldn't remember it. It wasn't me. I was absolutely sure it wasn't me.

"Do you think you can fool us?"

"It's obvious that you're the one who attacked our children!"

I felt even more dejected as they were right. It was indeed me. My body was there. But all I could remember was the actions of their children. I was utterly confused. Did I really do that? Could I really do that? Was I capable of such a thing? NO. I was determined to shake my head.

"I don't remember anything."

"YOU DON'T REMEMBER?!"

"Is that the way you think you can get away with it?"

"YOU ALMOST KILLED OUR CHILDREN!"

"ENOUGH!" The principal slammed three folders on the table in front of us, causing the two women to jolt in their seats. "I didn't call you here to create chaos or point fingers. Both sides have committed grave offenses. Please sign these documents."

My hands trembled as I unfolded the folder. I stood up as I read its contents. It felt like I had been drenched in cold water.

"E-expulsion?"

The two parents also stood up. "Principal, why would our children be expelled? You witnessed what that child did, didn't you? She nearly killed our children!"

"She's right, she's the one who should be kicked out!"

"You also saw what your children did to her. It's not just in the video that they did that to her for the first time. Every day, from the first day up until today. All of it has been captured, and if you want to watch, there's no problem."

The two women were left speechless. They didn't know what to say anymore.

"To be honest, you could face imprisonment," added the head. Their faces drained of color. Anxious, they kept exchanging glances between us and Aunty.

"I-if that's the case, we won't hold them responsible for the hospital bills. Just don't send us to jail. We can discuss this, right, Principal?" One of the women agreed.

"That depends on Mrs. Lee's agreement."

Everyone's attention turned to Aunty and me.

"A-Aunty..." I pleaded, desperately hoping that she wouldn't agree to what they wanted to happen.

"I agree."

My shoulders slumped as I sank into the chair. I clenched my fists tightly. The tears I had been holding back finally streamed down my face. Aunty forcefully grabbed my hand, compelling me to sign. I felt a sharp pain as she let go. My despair deepened as I saw the wounds on my knuckles.

Did I really throw those punches?

"It's settled then. You may leave now." Her gaze lingered on Aunty and me. "We're not done talking yet." She waited for the two women to leave before turning her attention back to me.

"Don't you wonder why the head is here?"

To be continued.