Message In A Bottle

The wind was blowing more than usual and forced her to go back inside. Putting away her sketchpad was the opposite of what she wanted to do, but she didn't want her crazy dad to find it. It was the only escape that she had, and the only way she felt she could truly express herself. Shareya had no choice as the chilly gusts went through her pages and her hair. Practically shivering as she put it away she hid the book in her blanket and got up to go back inside.

Watching the setting of the sun was always her favorite time of day, but her face was starting to feel numb from the wind chill. She had been recovering from a cold that also plagued her father making him meaner than usual. The last thing she needed was anyone telling her father that she was outside scribbling in her book. It seemed like regardless what she said or did he'd hear about it and have something to say. There was little privacy that she had, and as long as she lived with him it would stay that way.

She was turning eighteen in nine months, and it felt like forever away. There was nothing more that she wanted in her life than to not be under his thumb anymore, but even becoming an adult wouldn't necessarily mean freedom. He wouldn't even let her read books unless it was something he gave her. All that he wanted her to do was be a doctor, but she wanted to be a famous painter and a fashion designer.

It had been three days since they left from England to go on their voyage across the water to New York. Within the first two days he had already scolded her a handful of times. It was always the same "don't do this and don't do that". Sometimes it was, "If your mother was here she wouldn't approve." Nothing that she did would ever seem to be rewarded with his approval and certainly sketching dresses was no exception. The latest one that she was working on was her favorite, and all she needed was some colored pencils.

Since her mother died when she was five years of age her dad would barely let her have anything. Shareya knew that if her mother was alive she could have had almost anything that she wanted. There wasn't a whole lot she could remember about her mother other than the warmth of her smile, and her generosity. When it was her 5th birthday her mother gave her the first and only set of paints and paper she ever owned. The day her mother went to work and didn't come back was the day her father, being in total despair, took them away.

He claimed it was unproductive, and that it was too messy for a child so young. As she got older he wouldn't allow her to do anything that reminded him of her mother, and just made her study for school so she'd get college scholarships. At school was the only time she had ever gotten to make paintings and the sketch pad she had was from her teacher. Once she brought home markers and her dad angerly threw them away because he said that he didn't want them to ruin anything in the house.

All of her friends at school thought that he was weird, and other kids would make fun of her. He would always pick her up from school, and drop her off even though her bus stopped in front of her house every morning. Than when she was a teenager he got even stricter and wouldn't let her go out after class or during the weekend to see her friends. Eventually he decided that they would move to America for her to get her doctorate degree. It was never something that she had wanted to do but her perfect grades gave her the opportunity to be a foreign exchange student in America.

That was her foot in the door he said, and that is all she needed to get her doctorate degree. Since they were on the Titanic to move to America, she brought along all of the books he had given her . Books that he claimed he had read himself, and would study her on. The last two days he had been resting more than usual because he had gotten sick too. This gave Shareya more time to have to herself, but didn't leave her with much freedom.

Her father had quickly introduced himself to many people on the boat and he asked and relied on them to keep a close eye on her. Each morning he would read the same newspaper while smoking his cigar and drinking his hot coffee exchanging words with the waitress at the café. The first day someone mistook another young brown hair blue eyed girl For Shareya and the waitress told her dad she was frolicking with a group of teenage boys on the decks outside. He was very upset at Shareya, but luckily someone let him know later it wasn't her.

For part of the day he turned almost red in the face and made Shareya sit in one place and stare at the wall. While he paced back and forth taking off his belt he told her all of the reasons why she can't make friends with strangers, and how she knew better. She had no idea what he was talking about, but wished it would have at least been worth it to be guilty. He was about ready to spank with his belt when someone knocked on their cabin door with a telegram.

Not long after that he left without a word, and when he came back later that evening he had good news and bad news. The good news was that she was lucky there was a girl that looked like her on the ship, and the bad news was that she couldn't start school until later that fall. Originally she was going to start mid spring, but decisions were made on her and her fathers behalf that changed things. This was bad news for her because it made her father angry, but he let her go read outside as to be left alone.

That was the first time that she wrote down her frustrations and she put it in a glass bottle she found on the ground. She put all of her stresses and dreams on a single sheet of sketchpad paper that read.

I want to see my mother again. I miss her every single day. She disappeared when I was 5, and it was determined she died. Father won't let me paint or draw my dresses, and I wish I could run away in America. We're going there so I can be a foreign exchange student in college for a doctorate degree, but it isn't my hearts desire. I want to live in Paris and paint pictures of sunsets, and hot air balloons. I would sell designer clothes and make a fortune, and than paint pretty girls in my designer clothes. I want a bike, to make friends with strangers, and have a pet sheep. I can't help but wish that he'd have been the one that disappeared and if you're reading this right now I wish that you would come save me. I'll be in New York and my name is Shareya.

That was all she wrote. No date and no last name and nothing that could help anyone find her. Her father woke up before she could finish writing it and she tore it out only to throw it in the ocean later after finding an empty bottle. She was going to leave it somewhere on the boat, but everyone around her would certainly tell her father. The only chance that she could take was throwing it in the water hoping that someone found it someday.

It had been the morning of the second day when she went outside on the decks for a walk after eating breakfast. He told her she had ten minutes before she had to study, and to make the most of it. So she did by sending out an S.O.S. that she couldn't even finish. Her pen was under her pillow with her sketchpad and all she had was the single piece of paper. Shareya figured that if anyone did find it that she would certainly be the only one in New York with the name Shareya.

Her name meant fortunate, and that is what her father was investing his life into making her be. Although she saw a life for herself doing everything that she wanted to do, and being as fortunate as she ever wanted. Her father moved to England from India to marry her mother before Shareya was born. Then when her mother disappeared he stayed in England but he was unhappy. The only things that he could focus on was his newspaper, Shareya becoming a doctor, and staying a specific weight.

If only he could set aside his dream for her and encourage her to chase her dream she thought as she walked through the hallways of the ship. The cabins were like hotel doors and Shareya was growing fond of it, but she missed taking walks in nature. All around her was water. People, ship, and water. If only, she thought, she could go to America to chase her real dreams and her real passions. That is what would make her truly happy, but it was never what her dad written in the stars for her.

There was a story that he would tell her ever since she was little about the stars and how parents wrote their children's' life paths in them. Thinking how it was silly on the way back to her and her fathers ship cabin she noticed a stranger walking towards her hurriedly. Usually she knew better not to try socializing with anyone new because her father said it would make her want friends she was too busy to have, but this time was different. She was lonely, and she was sick of her fathers controlling ways.

Shareya waved excitedly and awkwardly being that she was shy and not good at talking with people like she used to be when she was younger. The stranger walked past her without even so much as looking and continued rushing down the hall. This made her sigh in disappointment but at least she tried, and her father wasn't there to give her the look. The look of disapproval and disgust like she had done something wrong, but in fact there was nothing wrong about it. Although she was disappointed that the stranger didn't wave back Shareya was proud of herself for trying.

By the time she got back in the cabin after what was supposed to have been her short dinner walk her father wasn't there. He was likely enjoying the evening with some new friends, or possibly on a walk himself. There was no telling what he was doing as he would always leave for long periods of time without any explanation, and none was needed. Shareya couldn't possibly care less about what her father was doing, and any time that he was away she would draw in her sketchpad.

He would be expecting that she would be studying or getting ready to go to sleep by the time that he walked through the doors. Whether it was late or whether it was not long after she got back, but she was tired of studying. Reading about things that she didn't really care about, and having to know all of the answers to his questions. On occasion she would purposely answer the questions wrong to see if he was even paying attention, but would more often than not regret it.

Anything that he asked he knew the answer, and would make her read the chapter again if she was wrong. There was no getting around it that he knew everything about what she studied, and that was her life. Even on a voyage across the deep blue she was being forced to a life of boredom. A life that she never wanted, but she knew that her mother would be proud of her and that is what had always made her quietly do her best. One thing that she would never forget that her mother told her to do was to always do what her father said, for her, and therefore she usually tried her very hardest.

Shareya got ready for bed thinking of how much she missed her mother, the sweet scent of her perfume and the smell of her cooking. She brushed her teeth and put on her pajamas before sitting on the edge of her bed to brush her long hair. She could hear the sound of the waves lightly crashing against the ship from her window when all of a sudden it started shaking. Panic ran through Shareya as she lurched forward from her bed onto the ground. Being afraid she anxiously grabbed her sketchpad, pen, and mothers picture from under her pillow and ran out of the door.

An alarm sounded and people started stepping out of their cabins frantically to the left and right of her. The only thing that she could think of was her father, and where he might be. As much as she resented the way that he raised her she loved him dearly and knew that he only had her best interest in mind. She squeezed through the people that were vacating their cabin rooms and went into survival mode. Something that she never knew that she had, but her intuition told her that something serious had happened. A rush of adrenaline ran through her as she tried blocking out the sound of the alarms to go find her dad.

There was only one of a couple of places that he could possibly be. The bar, the nurses station, or on his way back to find her. Those being the only places that came to mind unless he had made new friends that she was unware of. Going as quick as she could she went to go look at the bar first to see if he had been around there. He was no where to found and the waitress at the café said that she hadn't seen him either since he had dinner. Leaving it a mystery she went and checked to see if he had stopped to get his medicine before coming back to the cabin.

She was worried when she found that no one that she asked had seen him anywhere. The ship was so massive and the handful of people who knew him by name were not anywhere around. Looking everywhere in a state of panic water started rushing onto the floor she was on and she followed others running to the decks. Someone mentioned lifeboats were being lowered into the water and it was sinking quickly.

When she got up on the decks she saw the chaos of the crowd of people. Everyone was scrambling and trying to get a seat in a boat for themselves and their families. There were more boats than people and there was screams and shouts everywhere. The scene was startling and Shareya was shaking from terror. Her worst fear of the ship was coming to life, and she didn't even have her father nagging her by her side telling her what to do. Feeling dizzy and lightheaded as she surveyed her surroundings closely she kept looking for her father.

There was no way that she would intentionally leave without him and be orphaned before she was 18. At the same time something told her that if she escaped his grips and focused on saving herself than she would be liberated that if she survived she'd have the chance to chase her dreams. The thought overwhelmed her and both tears of both sorrow and joy filled her eyes. Knowing that her mother would be ashamed of her if she didn't keep searching Shareya kept scanning through unfamiliar faces.

Seeing a couple of people she recognized she asked them, but they had not seem him. She approached the security guard who her father had chatted with about keeping an eye on her whereabouts and confronted him about her missing father. The man was an older tall guy with a cracked lens on his glasses and a scar under his left eye. In a English accent he told her to get on a lifeboat quickly and briskly pulled her to the side. He told her that he was safe and not to worry that she would have to wait.

She was standing by two young twin boys and their mother who were waiting to get on a life boat. A captain ushered them on and helped them while people were trying to push through to steal their spot. They all sat down in a small crowded lifeboat alarmed by what was going on around them. There was not a moment that Shareya could take a deep breathe but she reassured herself that she would make it out alive, and wondered if her father would soon be by her side.

It was in that moment of fear yet relief of being in a boat that she realized despite her resentment she still loved her father. She always wanted to escape him until the moment he wasn't there, and her heart was racing. Losing her mother was hard, and although it made her father cold and controlling losing him was something that she wasn't ready for. The brisk air was blowing through her hair and drying her tears as she looked around nervously thinking.

Without any warning they were being lowered into the water and she could see them getting ready to sever the ropes. Shareya held onto the side of the boat where she could with one hand when she saw the guard reaching down handing her a life jacket. Rushing her to put it on she stood up and grabbed it with her free hand. He ushered her to be careful as she almost lost her footing clumsily but a stranger in the boat grabbed her and kept her balance steady. He helped her put it on as the kind stranger held his hand out and smiled.

He was a well dressed younger gentleman in his late twenty or thirties that she could tell and told her his name. Being shy and uncertain that she could trust him she told him her name anyway as he helped her sit down comfortably. The gentleman had a warm tenderness to him that helped her relax. For the first time that evening ever since the alarms went off and she knew there was trouble she felt calm. Something in the look in his eyes told her that she'd be safe, and that everything would be okay.

Eagerly looking around for her father in the unfamiliar faces around her and the light from the oil lamps she did not see him. She could barely see anything but waves and dark clothing and strangers. If he was anywhere around her she couldn't see him, and she could not hear him. The waters were still, but she started feeling seasick being so close to it. Shivering she wished she had a coat just as the young man handed her a blanket.

"Here, take this. You'll need it." Is what he told her as he wrapped it around her shoulders.

"Thank you." The words uttered from her lips as she looked away. Finding him attractive Shareya ignored the feeling of her stomach fluttering grabbing her sketchpad from the inside of her pants and her mothers photograph. It was the first time in her life that she wished she had a picture of her father and an almost empty feeling hung over her as the lifeboat was completely released from the Titanic into the ocean.

Sitting curled up with the blanket around her legs and the sketchpad in her lap she rubbed her mothers picture with her thumb. The light around her was little and she could barely see anything but the outline of the photograph. Thinking about her mothers face and laugh she smiled in comfort knowing how relieved her mother would be to know that she had made it out of a sinking ship and was warm. If she had been there to witness it she would be holding Shareya close saying that it is just a detour and don't worry.

The wind was whistling in the creaky lifeboat and it was almost daunting to Shareya as she looked over the edge. The mist from the waves against the boat lightly sprayed her on the face upon her curiosity. Watching the ship as they were being quickly rowed away in the water the scene before her eyes was unlike anything that she had ever seen. The back of the ship was already entirely under water and the front was straight up in the air. She could make out people aboard some were jumping off and some were fighting.

Watching what she was calling home for a temporary time was overwhelming. There was hundreds of abandoned people that she could tell and her heart was sinking with them. Without knowing if her dad was one them she could feel the tears rush to her eyes. As much as the thought of being free from him so she could chase her own dreams became more appealing the more it dawned on her that it could be a possibility she was brokenhearted. Never would she want her father to be stranded on a sinking ship to die.

In sorrow she wept putting her head in her hands while trembling. Feeling completely defenseless Shareya prayed silently that he would at least be alright. A warm hand on her shoulder startled her and she looked up to see the young man who had handed her the blanket looking at her with a concerned look in his eyes. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her with his free hand. She grabbed it silently when unexpectedly he pulled her towards him and gave her a hug.

"Everything is going to be alright. You will find them. I was told my loved ones were in the other boat that had already been lowered and to get into this one. I am sure that is where your loved ones are." He let her go patting her on the back while and Shareya wiped her tears sniffling. The thought comforted her and she hoped that it was true, and suddenly the thought of being a doctor didn't sound so bad. Helping others sounded better than being alone in a country where she knew no one, and had no idea what she was doing as a young woman.

She kept this in mind as she realized that all of her study books her father were gone, and sighed. Saying nothing in response she turned away watching the sinking ship deep in thought. The midnight air was cold as she watched her breathe. If only, she pondered, if only her mother was with her watching the sinking ship. People on the lifeboat were rambunctious and excitable as they too watched the devastating scene before them wide eyed. One man jumped in the water against the lifeboat captains order after breaking free from two mens' grips claiming he was going to go back.

This startled Shareya as she surveyed the waters and realized that he did not have a life jacket on. To her surprise another guy wearing a vest jumped in after him with a lifesaver as to prevent him from drowning. It was chaos and there was nothing more that she wanted in that moment other than to be home safe in her bed sleeping where she belonged. The person next to her was falling asleep and rested their head on her shoulder when the man next to her abruptly shook her awake by her shoulder.

The time passed by slowly as they made their way to safety. Everyone was quiet and staring at the titanic in dismay. The captain of the lifeboat announced that they would be finding another ship before too long. Some of the passengers applauded gratefully while others smiled. A young boy was giving everyone high fives and was happily exclaiming that when they arrived if he had to he'd steal a potato for everyone. His mother scolded him while some of the people couldn't help but laugh at him.

The thought of the child stealing a potato for everyone made her laugh inside. As she wondered about it her thoughts began once again to ponder on the thought of not being reunited with her father and she wondered would she have to steal ever to survive? Yet suddenly the idea of being free from a life she didn't want started to appeal to her and she couldn't help but think of what it would be like. Maybe being able to do everything that she ever wanted wouldn't be such a bad thing after all, and maybe it was good that they had been separated.

Feeling heartless at the thought she started feeling better and even a little excited. Although she hoped her father was safe and off the ship as it continued sinking there was no doubt in her mind. Freedom. Freedom is what she wanted, and freedom is what she would have if he wasn't in the other lifeboat near to her. Shareyas' heart was racing as she imagined all of the fun things that she could try and do without him in her life anymore. Suddenly a shot rang out and interrupted her thoughts as everyone screamed in panic.

A shot had come from the other lifeboat that was close by. Shareya couldn't see what was going on but everyone heard the splash of someone jumping overboard into the water. The captain ushered everyone to stay calm and stay where they were. She was shaking from the sound of the gun and fear that someone else would get hurt. Everyone grew silent as there was shouts coming from the other boat, but no more shots rang out.

Staying quiet no one said anything else. Being in the middle of the sea was no place to be for panic being it that there was no where to go. Everyone soon forgot as they were huddling together trying to stay warm from the cold. Shareya stared off into the distance while the time slowly ticked by. Being able to hear the ticking of a pocket watch someone next to her took out she asked them for the time.

It was almost two in the morning and there was no telling how long they would be on the lifeboat. Shareya was tired and falling asleep looking over the boat into the dark waters. The only light was that of the oil lamps aboard the lifeboat and everything around her was the same. Exhaustion overcame her as the young man that gave her the blanket tried talking to her. He motioned for her to rest her head against his shoulder and without hesitation she did and fell asleep immediately.

Dreaming about her mother being alive and coming to rescue her from her lifeboat she awoke abruptly from crashing waves against the boat. The cold water hit her face and she was wide awake leaning on a complete strangers shoulder. There was a small storm that was rocking the boat and she was asked to help row. An elderly woman switched places with her and handed her her row and she followed the action of the people also rowing.

Having little arm strength Shareya gave it all that she had and eventually stopped. The storm had subsided and she was told to rest. Feeling hungry and thirsty from the effort and time that had gone by she started thinking about her father. If there was anything that she didn't hate about him it was that he never let her be hungry, and without him there she was hungry. This saddened Shareya as she realized everyone around her was bound to be hungry too.

A deep empathy filled her as she kept thinking about everyone and their families. There was nothing that she could do, but she wished that there was something that she could do to help everyone in the lifeboat with her. Just when she was about to start crying once more the man with gentle eyes reached his hand out to her in secrecy. Within it there was a small piece of bread for her to eat.

Grabbing it quickly Shareya thanked him silently. Realizing there was not enough to share she gave it to the old woman next to her when he turned away. Watching as the woman ate it gratefully and hungrily after breaking off a piece of it to gave it her husband a warmth overwhelmed her. That was the moment that she knew that she wanted to help people, and that was what she was going to do. Feeling purposed Shareya smiled.

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