ME

Full bright moon, half dream

Full red sun, half beam

I remember all, still forgotten

Completely incomplete,in star scheme.

All was but an uncertainty and ambiguity.who was she? Who had been she? A constant sense of emptiness lingered within her. The weather outside was beautiful but she had a permanent autumn inside, following the same routine of day in and day out.

Tears began to spread on her face ,her hands shook and a brown diary slipped down .The dust on the cover of diary was very little as compared to the filth scattered on her soul.

In the shifting of her house, she came across many old things.This brown diary was one of them.

At her college time,she always enjoyed a festive life with an existence full of love ,laughter and purpose.

She was the most jubilant person of her class and played a vital role in the literary circles of her college.How did this become a history? She recalled how did time eat up her inborn talent and captivating beauty?She was exceptionally gifted with the ability to write prose and poetry.

She opened the window,a cool breeze was blowing and the outside view was breathtaking. She sat down and lost in the past;

Sonia always won the first prize in prose and poetry contests.She got her first offer of a T.V show on the eve of her engagement.Sonia in spite of her revolutionary spirit chose the life of a traditional house wife.She got married and raised two beautiful children into successful adults. Her husband’s partnership was a source of contentment for her. How did years come and go ,relationships build and life settle down?

Sonia looked back at the journey of 25 years of constant struggle,sacrifices and compromises. In all these efforts, everything was there except Sonia.

Where did she stand? She always wanted to shoot for the moon. She had all the luxuries of life but still felt a hollowness that she could not name. She remembered a couplet of one of her poems;

“Some connections bring such a lot

Where paradise found but man lost”

A beautiful wind was blowing and her thoughts drifted to the time period when her dreams soared like an eagle on the wind. She had a strong wish to become a poetess to weave words into verses full of emotions that would touch the hearts of her readers and inspire them too much. But life always takes its course , responsibilities of raising a family had put her dreams on hold.

Now her children met their goals and Sonia found herself longing for something more. She yearned to leave a lasting impression on the world, to truly live.

When she was maintaining her room,a brown diary fell from the shelf. As she reached down to pick it up, these lines caught her eye.

“The greatest tragedy is not death, but a life unlived.”

This struck a chord deep in Sonia’s soul . Now she asked herself , was she alive? She had been existing but not truly living. She left herself to the happenings of life but now she would seize the life by the reins.

Now Sonia was ready to renew her dreams with a new determination. She resolved to pursue her long forgotten aim of becoming a successful writer and poetess.

Now she joined the different workshops,attended classes and gave many hours to pour her heart out onto the page.

At the very start , it was completely a new journey, she even forgot to hold the pen in her hand. Once there was a time ,when she was used to say that, “my pen is my world and my words are my true friends”. But now this world seemed to be a strange universe for her, she was standing in a closed cell, no way to move.

Then she assembled her nine thousand scattered pieces and compiled her broken heart and soul again. Remembering the words of her father that, “God has made all of us for some purpose.”

“I was writer,I am writer and I will be a writer .I was a born writer and will die as a writer”.

In almost more than 15 days ,she wrote a short story. She was depressed to read it .It was something strange ,not looked written with the pen of Sonia . How can I go 25 years back to bring old “Sonia “ again in the full form. Time , circumstances, situations and thoughts, everything had been transformed her into a household mother.

Slow and steadily,she did not lose heart and continued her struggle with perseverance and dedication. She used all the social media tools to learn and write . Her devotion and dedication was superb . The most wonderful thing was that her kids were with her. At every moment ,they hold the hands of her mother, helped her to their best and promoted her work. Restless efforts of Sonia and support of her children paved the way for her.

Out of the blue,the words started to flow swiftly from her pen. First time in the 25 years,she felt a sense of completeness.

She put all her experiences to paper. She wrote all her motherhood practices . She wrote about all the joys and sorrows,dreams and regrets. She wanted to become an inspiration for all such women who sacrifice their careers for the family life. This is the renaissance of her soul. Emptiness was gone with the wind and happiness prevailed everywhere.

One by one Sonia’s poetry and fiction found their way into the world. She also published her articles and started to write blogs on different social and moral issues. Her work got high appreciation and acknowledgment.

One day ,her daughter gave her a news that there is a worldwide competition of poetry is going to be held and her mother should participate to compete the world . Sonia was hesitating , she could not find herself able to stand with the big names of this field.

But at the end, she also wanted to test her present position as a poetess . So she decided to take part in the contest.The result day came ,her heart beat could be heard. She was so confused, What would happen? The historical moment came, unbelievable she got the first prize for her poem. She became popular, every T.V channel and newspaper wanted her to be their guest . Social media declared her a star.

Her confidence came back on such recognition. It was really never too late.

One can pursue her passion at any stage of life or at any age . Within 3 years Sonia had become a popular and prolific writer. She had a great fan following and countless readers. She was a role model and lesson for others to embrace their own dreams and live their lives to the fullest .

On her 50th birthday, she got the true meaning of living. She was over the moon. Now there was not only an existence but a rich, meaningful and ambitious life she had.

No doubt, The Journey of Self Discovery was wonderful.

It was ME, SONIA, more than a mother or wife,

I WAS SONIA.