Loyalty

“Tonight. Sunset. The nest.” I scanned my peripherals to be sure that no one was close enough to read the text. After scanning again, I deleted it and kept walking, saying the phrase a few more times in my head before moving on.

As I started to turn the corner, I was knocked over from behind. “Hey there, Rockstar!” a sweet voice giggled. As I bent over to grab my fallen cap, the owner of the voice climbed further up my back so that as I stood straight, she was in full piggyback position.

“Z, you gotta stop doing that. Thank god I haven’t gotten my coffee yet.” I fit the cap back onto my head, then reinforced my arms under her legs.

“I was calling you for a good 5 minutes trying to get your attention. If I didn’t pounce, I’d be a block behind by now.”

“Oh, was it really that long?” I looked both ways before crossing the street. Z’s grip tightened as I stepped off the curb.

“Yes, dude. Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just drifted away for a bit.”

“Ahh, ever the space cowboy… Here’s good, driver.” We had arrived at our destination: a newly built mom-and-pop diner. I let Z slide off of my back and we headed inside.

Almost all the tables were full. Surprising for a brand new spot in this area. Z pointed to an empty table, so I followed her to it and sat down.

The menu was written on a large chalkboard at the back of the diner. “I’ll go order for us,” Z exclaimed, jumping up like a spring.

“I don’t even know what I want yet,” I called after her.

“It’s okay. I know exactly what to get you.”

I sighed, pulling out my phone to browse Pinterest while I waited. When she came back, it was with two heaping plates of food. “What the hell?”

“Your favorites, madame: cheesy scrambled eggs with spinach and tomato, stacked blueberry pancakes with crispy edges and topped with whipped cream, and finally, loaded curly fries.”

“Why all this? My birthday’s not for another two months. And did you say crispy edges? How did you get them to do that?”

“I went out with one of the cooks not too long ago. He’s paying his way through college, so he’s become a pretty great cook.” She placed the plates on the table and sat down across from me.

“So, the cook that you used to date did you a favor.”

“Yeah, basically.” She began to dig into the loaded fries. “Oh yeah, so there’s a party tonight, if you want to tag along.”

I avoided her gaze, knowing where this would go. “Actually, tonight, I have plans.”

“Oh really? With?”

“Myself.” I panicked. “Just… want to spend some time alone tonight.” Her eyes pierced my skin. It took everything I had to not crack under the pressure.

“Okay. Have fun!” she cheered, surprising me, and giving me the opportunity to change the subject as we finished our meal.

I left my house that evening as quietly as possible- as usual. If someone were to find out what I was doing during my nightly outings, everything would go straight to hell.

I took the back roads and alleys until I reached the edge of town, and the wall that separated us from everyone else. After surveying my surroundings, I took cover within the trees, being sure to stay close to the wall.

Sunset was approaching when I reached my destination. The mural of a barn owl with spread wings was stretched neatly along the old stone wall. I made my way to its feet, and dug through the bushes until my hands found the latch of a trap door. After once more checking that I wasn’t being followed, I went through the door, locking it behind me.

The tunnel underneath was narrow, but my phone’s flashlight was more than enough to navigate until I got to the door at the end. I slid my phone into my back pocket and slowly opened the door. Faint light shone through stronger as the door was opened wider. I opened it just enough to slide my body through, then closed it right behind me.

“Is there a bunny in my garden?” A deep voice whispered from the dark corners of the room.

“I wish you’d stop calling me that.”

The voice chuckled, “I’m sorry, mi cielo. You know I can’t resist.” Amos came out from the shadows. “Do you like it? I was going to bring candles, but I forgot them when I left home. This is okay though, right?” He motioned around the dimly lit room

I slid my shoes off by the door and approached him. “This is fine.” I took his hand in mine. “I’m just glad to see you.”

We spent our time together, careful to keep track of the clock. A few hours before sunrise, we kissed each other goodbye and parted ways. I left the way I came, careful to hide the trap door under the nearby foliage before leaving.

“You’re seeing him again, aren’t you?”

I whipped around, surprised to see Z standing behind me.

“Z, I-”

“Sam, are you out of your mind? Do you know what this could do to our clan if you’re not careful?” Her eyebrows furrowed in a way I’d never seen them do before. Her happy sweet voice deepened into a firm shout as she stalked towards me.

“Nothing is going to happen because you’re not going to say anything!” I shot back, stepping up to meet her.

“This isn’t about whether I say anything or not, Sam! There’s more than one way that this can go south!”

I took a deep breath, and lowered my voice, “You’ve known me since birth, Z. Isn't it fair to say that I’m a good enough judge of character? Can you please just trust me with this?”

Her expression softened, and she looked me in the eye. “I’m sorry. The safety and wellbeing of our clan is more important than your love affair. Let’s just go home and figure this all out, okay? Please…”

A rush of hurt surged through my chest. I sighed and started out into the woods. After a few steps, Z’s hand slid into mine. For a few moments, we walked together in silence.

“Sam, I really am sorry. This isn’t just for the clan, you know. I’m worried about you too. Character aside, so much could go wrong if anyone else found out about any of this.”

I couldn’t find the words to respond. I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t even decide which emotion to feel. When I did finally manage to look at her, all I could feel was rage.

When I finally arrived home, I immediately stepped into the shower to wash the day away. The water was warm, but my body was shaking. Dirt and blood washed off of me and down the drain as I tried to wrap my head around what I’d just done.

After the shower, I crawled into bed and under the covers. All I could do was cry as I choked out the words “I’m so sorry, Z.”