Love Lost

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away there lived a witch. One day she was visited by a very, handsome, young prince, who was lost in her forest and looking for his princess. The witch invited him in to have a cup of tea and a snack, while she drew him a map and sent him on his way. As she watched him and drew the map to an enchanted cabin that she had at the edge of the forest, she fell more and more in love with this charming prince. She knew that he would never love her, but she wanted just 24 hours with him to try to get him to know the real person that she was instead of the witch that he saw. So she sent him to the other cabin with an apple and a wish for a safe journey to find all that he ever wanted. She watched him ride off with true love in her heart and a plan in her head. She drank a potion that made her into a beautiful princess, then waved her wand which landed her in her enchanted cabin. It was far enough into the woods, to make the prince think he was lost again, so he knocked on the door to ask directions. When she opened the door, his eyes got wide with amazement at the beauty before him. Instead of directions, he asked for a glass of water because he was so parched from such a long journey from his kingdom.

Now this is NOT your normal witch meets prince and everything is happily ever after. Nor does the witch lose her wings and plot vengeance either, my friend. As the prince began to ask questions, the woman could tell that he wasn't looking for happily ever after! He wasn't looking for a princess either! And the more he talked, the more the witch knew that she deserved a much better man than this P.O.S!!! She was sure that he had hit every cabin from here to B.F.E and had bedded every woman who would fall for his handsome looks and his charming ways! So, she invited him to stay. "It will get dark soon and there isn't another cabin for a very, long way. Please stay for dinner. My couch is very comfortable, you will sleep well there." she said. He quickly agreed and went outside to feed his horse some carrots that the woman had grown and give him some water from the pump outside. The witch began preparing the special dinner that she had planned for him. When he came back in, she already had a chicken in the pot above the fire, with some very special herbs included, and was peeling potatoes and vegetables to put in the stew also. He came up behind her and planted a kiss on her neck. She turned around and slapped him hard! "There will be time for that... for dessert." she giggled and winked at him. He rubbed his jaw as he sat in the chair and watched her hips sway as she worked. She added the extra ingredients to the stew and asked, "What is the name of the kingdom which we will rule one day?" He stammered, because he wasn't going to tell this woman where to find him when he disappeared the next morning. AND he had also noticed that she had said WE in that question!! "Um, I was thinking of renaming it when I take over. But at the moment, it is called Dothraki." Isn't that a horrid name? She answered, "I love that name. I think we shall keep it. Where is that, exactly? I've never heard of it." "I will draw you a map in the morning before I head back, so that you can meet me there when I return from my journey South. I have business with the merchants in the harbor." he answered, thinking that was clever of himself to come up with. "perhaps I could go with you and be of some help." she pondered aloud. "This is strictly a man's work and I will need no help. Perhaps I could just take you with me on my way back." This infuriated the witch even further, but she dare not show him that. He might leave before his special meal. He asked, "When will dinner be ready? I am starving and ready for dessert!", grinning from ear to ear with his cockiness. The witch quickly got his bowl and dished him out some stew, looking as subservient as she could muster. Then she got him some bread. "Is there anything else I can get for you?" "I could use something to drink!" He bellowed. She quickly got him a large glass of water and one for herself and sat across the table from him and watched him eat like the neanderthal that he was. "Are you not eating?" he asked her. "Of course, not. I want to be sure you get your fill first. I want you to have plenty of energy for dessert." she winked at him and grinned, because she knew that he would not be liking dessert as much as she would! The more he ate, the sleepier he got. The sleepier he got, the hairier he seemed to be. He began to feel like he must be in a dream or something. He began to eat just the carrots and celery out of the stew. Why did he feel like a rabbit?

The next morning when he awoke, the prince knew that something was VERY wrong! He was surrounded by carrots, potatoes and celery, in a very large pot and he was tied up! The witch had become herself again instead of the beautiful woman. "You see dear man, the dinner you had last night was to prepare you for my dinner tonight! Rabbit Pie!! With just the right tenderness & seasoning, for myself and my coven. We will enjoy you even more than you enjoyed every unknowing woman that you have ever encountered, I assure you!!" as she covered him with the top crust of the pie and slid him into her preheated oven, cackling her most glorious laugh ever. His screams were heard thoughout her forest and her coven knew that dinner would be ready soon. They gathered their side dishes and desserts, their wine and spirits, there would be a wonderful celebration tonight! Another vile creature had been dealt his due justice. He would fulfill the coven's needs better than he had fulfilled any other woman's needs that he had ever encountered!

The moral of this story is: treat a woman like a witch and she will show you the witch. Treat her like your queen and you can write your own story!