Little Flower

Ponds freeze every year. They get cold enough and get solid. They get thick enough that kids and adults can run across them or skate. Hockey can even be played. Everyone in town loves it when the local fishing pond becomes the town's winter activity.

Ponds become this sheet of ice that becomes a canvas to those that can skate. We wind our blades across the surface and leave our mark. We're the fish up above. We make our presence known.

I didn't want my presence to be known anymore. Someone made my body be their canvas and I didn't want it anymore. I didn't want to be the town's monument of a new passing season. However, if I didn't skate in the Winter Festival, the town would know something had happened to Tara Howard. I had been skating in the Festival for eight years. Since I was ten years old. The Winter Festival was as permanent as getting breakfast at Josie's Spot on Saturday mornings or going to Johnnie's Shakes on Friday. A pizza and milkshake parlor named after a friend of the owner's that choked on asking his now wife to marry him three different times. You can even order "The Jitters" as a special.

This was a town of samness. A town of closeness and repetition, so if I didn't skate...They all would know something. Screwing my eyes closed I pressed my forehead to the iron railing and listened to the nothingness. The deafening quite of previously fallen snow. My skates hit against my legs in a soft wind. They were knotted together and divided by a bar in the railing. Hard footsteps sounded beside me. I knew who they belonged to well before he was sitting next to me a heavy sigh. "Whatcha doin' Howard?" He had a smile to his voice. He was always happy. My skating partner, my best friend, Gibson Lawrence.

"Hey Gibby. Just thinking." I rolled my head to the right and opened one eye scrunching the rest of my face. His long legs dangled between the posts like mine.

"Thinking about the double back turn? Me too. We did it last year and if we don't think of something different we'll be the gossip at Josie's for weeks." His eyebrows had knitted together and left side of his bottom lip disappeared into his mouth. Skating was everything to Gibson. Even if he did look like he should be playing drums.

Rolling my head back to stare at the pond I opened both eyes and felt the cold sting them. It was the only thing I had been able to feel as of late. Gibson fumbled with his wool gloves next to me. Freeing his hand he laid it over my bare one. "Gina told me I couldn't say anything until you were ready. But, I just want to let you know I'm here for you and whenever you need to talk...well, I'm here." He gave me a light squeeze. I squeezed back. Gibs got to his feet and snagged his skates. I continued to stare out at the barren canvas and waited for him to skate into view.

At least this was untouched. All of it. Really only a piece of town was tainted. The man wasn't from here. He wasn't around. Yet the incident leaked out like watercolors and connected to places it wasn't supposed to be. I felt it everywhere. Saw him in a person passing through with their back to me. Heard him when I couldn't see a face. I didn't care for being touched by older men now. Holden, who owns Johnnie's, even felt a shift when he hugged me. He's stopped doing it. Letting out a shaky sigh I watched Gibson glide over the ice. He moved to elegantly. Maybe that's why this wasn't tainted. It was too beautiful.

Shifting on my seat bones I felt pressure and blood rush back to my butt. It ached. Wincing I got to my feet and picked up my skates. I had two feelings; one not letting Gibby down and self preservation. I didn't need the town gossips seeding my story. Heading to the path beyond the bridge something caught my eye. A soft hue that was bright against the white and gray around me. My breath caught as I moved my eyes to it. My body was frozen. Two small, purple flowers were taped to the opposite railing where I had been sitting, directly across. I felt a sickness roll through my stomach and up to my throat. A hot flash assaulted my body as I held back tears. Ignoring the flowers I forced myself to walk quickly to the path and scanned for any other person. Halfway through I decided I didn't want to see anyone. Keeping my eyes to my feet I threw my shoes off and hastily put on my skates. Fumbling I heard the soft edges of blades on ice and started crying. Gibson helped lace me up. No words. Patting the side of my right skate he offered me his hand. Taking it I drug my other over a snotty nose. "I think you're right," I said with a horse voice. "No double back this time." He smiled and just nodded. Skating side by side I didn't see the man at the base of the bridge - opposite to where we entered the pond.

****

"Soon my little flower. Soon. I didn't forget you." White teeth showed through cracked lips. Pulling his back pullover closer to his neck the man let out a sigh of content. He was going to have some fun in this town.