Lady Owl

Lillian, brassened skin woman left her world to escape into the wilderness. Seven days she would spend at her favorite camping spot in central Michigan. Woods would surround her and a small river trickled next to her favorite camp site. She looked forward to long walks in the woods and fishing for her supper. She looked forward to her time with the creator and his creation.

She pulled into her camping spot and unloaded her gear. Darkness was beginning to settle in so she set up her tent. Bats fluttered in the air eating their supper of lightening bugs. Lillian smiled as she watched the bats dart and swoop in an ungraceful way. In the distance an owl hooted and Lillian’s smile faded.

Her grandfather, three feather, had always said that if you heard one, it meant death was on the way. Lillian shook her head and put the thought aside. It is just a lore or a legend to strike fear into people. She listened closely for a moment and didn’t hear another hoot so she continued her chores.

The night was closing in on her and she had to set a fire as quick as she could. Sage, tobacco, sweet grass and cedar was placed around the fire so Lillian could open her night with a sacred ceremony. She smiled as the fire began to take and she began to sanctify her space with a cedar smudge as the light faded In the western sky.

”Creator, I bid thee well. I offer sage, cedar, tobacco and sweet grass to secure my space as sacred.” Lillian said as she offered the medicines in the fire. “Allow healing to be obtained during this trip. The owl is calling so please keep my family safe as I journey through my healing.”

After a small meal and dishes were washed Lillian settled down in her camping chair to relax for the remainder of the evening. The owl’s call came closer and closer. To escape her fear, she decided to settle in to her bed for the night. She extinguished her lamp and pulled the sleeping bag up over her shoulders and went to sleep with the owl singing the death song in her ear.

Dreams danced in her mind that caused her to toss and turn. She woke and looked at her watch and once again it was 3 Am. She took a sip of water and closed her eyes once again to the hooting of the owl near by in the woods.

After a moment she drifted off to sleep and smoke filled her dream. Lillian stood in the midst of the smoke looking around. She could hear the sound of the woods but the trees was blocked from the lingering smoke. Another hoot came through the air and she knew the owl was near. Fear encased her mind for she thought death was coming for her.

The moon’s light broke through the clouds and illuminated the smoke. In the distance, she could see movement and she focused on the shape advancing upon her. A shuffling walk of an owl came into view and it walked toward her. She waited with fear but she stood strong for her space was protected from the unsacred.

A large owl appeared in front of her and grew in size with each step it took until it stopped to stand over her. It's large eyes focused onto her and spread its wings wide. Lillian's scanned the length of its wing span and marveled at the beautiful brown feathers the owl shown to her. The bird began to flap as if it was going to take off but it didn't it just stirred the air and dust around them. The bird turned its head to the moon and screeched a loud cry and the moon answered by shining a beam of moon light onto the bird's body. Surrounded by light, its shape shifted into a woman dressed in a feathery brown gown. Her eyes were wider than a woman's normal eyes but her beauty was raw and perfect.

Lillian kneeled in front of her, "My lady, have you been calling for my death?"

"Ah child, there are many ways one dies. Today, is not the day of your human death. Today is the day you begin the death of the old you." She paused for a moment and went onto explain, "Have you not asked for this time to be fore healing?"

Lillian turned her head as she thought, "Yes, I did ask the creator for healing." She looked up at the lady with an imploring look. "I did ask for healing. Is there healing in death?"

"There is, and you will experience a form of death during this time. That is, if you are willing to do the work. This is painful, like death can be, or it can be a beautiful release." With a loud screech once again the lady called to the moon.

The moons light ascended upon Lillian's body and encircled her. The warm glow stripped away Lillian's human form and her body dissolved into a shimmering glow. Lillian felt free from the physical so unburdened of all the physical world. She marveled in the lightness of her being and she opened her eyes.

The space around her glowed and the lady stood smiling at Lillian's then she suggested, "Take a look at yourself now."

Lillian's eyes fixed her sight upon her hands glowing in the light from within. She turned her hands over and she could see cuts that were oozing with yellow energetic blood. She noticed that they were covered with a blood soaked band-aids and on each bloody band-aid was a word written on them. She began to read the band-aids: Beating a child. Stealing. Restraining, yelling, scolding, threatening and on an on she read. With a confused look on her face she looked up at the lady standing in front of her.

"I don't understand what I am seeing." confessed Lillian.

"I am not surprised. Many have lost the skill to see who they are outside the physical world." Lady owl began to pace as she said, "Look at the rest of your body. It is all a glow and it too is covered with other bleeding spots. Each spot is something done to you to hurt your soul or something you did that betrayed you or another."

Lillian's eyes widened as she looked at her spirit body bleeding all over. She read band-aid after band-aid reading. Emotions flooded her as she realized she had so many other area of betrayals oozing her energetic blood. She was bleeding inside of her and she hadn't noticed until now.

"How do I begin to heal all this?" Lillian said as she began to sob into her blood soaked hands.

Lady owl lowered her eyes on the weeping girl in front of her, "One at a time. One at a time. Tonight, we will look for betrayal of Dbaadendiziwin [humility]. Today I want you to look at the band-aids and find those that have taken away your sacredness from you."

Lillian began to review the band-aids and focused on many that had to do with being a dirty, drunkard, addict, unworthy, stupid, ugly, savage, heathen and poor. Her eyes danced across every band-aid reading all the things that were said to her, done to her, things she said or that she did to others.

"Man doesn't act with Dbaadendiziwin. Many men act out of greed and wealth no matter what the consequence there is. All those words show man greed and the affects it has on you and your greed passes onto others in a negative way. Each night, I will visit. I require you to present me two pieces of paper. First paper, will be of a betrayal done to you and the second, the betrayal you have done to another. Do you understand? Pick a bandage to heal so we can begin."

Lillian began to look at all the bandages on her energetic soul and found one that was bleeding and oozing profusely. Written on the band-aid was unworthy. Around the word unworthy was written all those words of betrayal of her childhood. Her yellow energetic hands reached down to the bandage in the middle of her belly and lifted the bandage off its space and held it in her hands and just looked at it. She glanced down at the tear in her abdomen and noticed that it began to gush with blood and white festering ooze. Her eyes rose to meet Lady Owl in a beseeching manner.

"Unworthy? That word is a good place to start. You are not unworthy if you are willing to change and heal. You are not unworthy because I have been sent to you by the ancestors. You my girl, are worthy of all you desire including healing. The ancestors say that need you to heal so you can heal others." Replied the Owl Lady. "Let's use the next seven days just focusing on this word alone." considered the spirit as she studied Lillian standing in front of her in pain.

Lillian looked at all the word surrounding the word "unworthy" and darkness covered the word and she faded into sleep. The next morning, she opened her eyes and the light of the sun cascaded across the top of her tent. She thought, 'was last night real?' she rolled over to her side and settled into the warmth of her blankets. Unworthy echoed in her mind.

The cold morning sent a shiver across her body when she emerged from her sleeping bag. When she rose from the tent she heard a hoot again and Lillian knew that the owl was close. Lillian opened the tent and emerged to greet a new day. Another hoot sounded and she looked around to see an old dead tree near the river and sitting in that tree was the owl perched inside the hole. A shiver of recognition flowed across her body and she nodded out of humility of the gift she was being given.

"My Lady Owl, I thank you for this gift. I will do as I have been shown." Whispered Lillian.

The dream was so vivid that Lillian could retrieve the vision of her energetic body and she could see the wound oozing puss and blood. She looked back at the owl that peered down upon her in her regal manner. With a hoot, the owl turned its back upon her and appeared to settle into a deep sleep.

While eating breakfast, Lillian pondered the word, "Unworthy". While chewing on a piece of bacon, she pulled out her phone and googled the word.

1. {adjective} not deserving effort, attention, or respect. He was unworthy of trust and unfit to hold office. (of a person's action or behavior) not acceptable, especially from someone with a good reputation or social position. [The expression of anger frowned upon as being unworthy]. Having little value or merit. [Many pieces are unworthy and ungrammatical.]

2. Lacking in excellence or value: Poor, Worthless, Base, Dishonorable, undeserving. not meritorious: undeserving// unworthy of attention. Inappropriate to one's condition or station// actions unworthy of a gentleman, lady.

Lillian sat at the picnic table considering the word's definition and the bandage she had held in her hand the night before. She looked up to the Lady Owl sleeping in the tree and she thought, "I have a week to work through this. I need to be ready with two pieces of paper ready for the night's lesson. One with who betrayed me by making me feel unworthy. She remembered that hurt people hurt people. She wasn't responsible for actions, however, Lillian knew she had to take responsibility for the hurt she has done to the worthiness of others.

The unsettling day sent Lillian into a moment of Chaotic thinking. Her mind swirled around her head and overwhelming emotions emerged. She pulled out a journal and began to write. Anger, happiness, anger, and happy moments were honored in her writing. Hours passed by and she chose the two important things on a paper and held it in her hand as she drifted off the sleep that night.

Once again, the Lady Owl appeared to Lillian. "I was watching you today, and I am proud of you. You're willing to work is exemplary." She smiled and smoothed her feathers while looking upon her.

With a bashful smile, Lillian looked down at her hands where the papers were clutched. She looked at her abdomen. She noticed bleeding and oozing seemed to be less than the night before. Even though it hadn't stopped, it wasn't as grotesque as the first time the bandage was removed. With a nod, she met the gaze of Lady Owl.

"Pain is healing." The lady smiled and reached out her hand, "What have you brought me tonight?" Her expression of curiosity grew as she approached Lillian.

"I felt unworthy of love from my parents. I felt the inattentive parenting skills of my parents that taught me that I was not worthy and not deserving of their love and nurturing upbringing." recalled Lillian.

The Lady took the paper from Lillian's hand and noted it carefully, "Yes, many parents betray their children when other things in life are more important to them. One must remember, parents are always trying their best to provide. They often sacrifice more important things while they are in survival mode."

Lillian eyes widened as a few band-aids began to glow. Bandages with unkind words departed from her body and floated into the air and form a feather in the air. The feathers floated through the air and fastened themselves into the dress of the Lady Owl.

"Those are now dead to you now. They no longer have power over you. Tonight, I will take them to those who have caused your pain. I hope one day they will heal their own damage. For now, these no longer belong to you.", she whispered to Lillian. "Now, what have you done to others?" She turned her back to Lillian.

Lillian lifted her hand and looked at the paper and read, "In proving my worth to my parents, I over achieved at the expense of my children. As I worked on my studies, I showed my children that they were not worthy of my love and attention. I betrayed them by not treating them well or building them up in a good nurturing way."

Lady Owl's head swirled around to look at Lillian then swiveled her body around to face her. "Yes, you have done your work. I am proud of you." With a wave of her hand, the wound stopped oozing. "Now, go forth from here and rebuild with your children in a proper manner. Break the pattern so it will not go to further generations. This is your chance to break this pattern in your family."

Lady Owl's eyes focused on Lillian for a moment, "Tonight, I will take the feather's to your parents on the other side. They will face their own healing but know, you must come to an understanding of their damage as well. When you discover your parent's truth, see how it affected them and understand how they transferred that onto you. Their truths, their damage, were not healed in their life time but you can work to make sure it doesn't move forward."

Lillian's eyes widened as the light of the moon increased and behind the Lady Owl stood her parents in the distance. They stood side by side waiting for the delivery of Lillian's letter to them. With a swift turn Lady Owl opened her wings and lifted off and flew off to meet her parents. Lillian watched as Lady Owl journeyed to the other world. Her eyes once again faded into a dark deep sleep.

Night after night Lady Owl visited Lillian. Lesson after lesson occurred. Lillian watched her spiritbody heal with each visit from Lady Owl. The seventh day arrived and Lillian was exhausted. Her mind wasn't heavy but the restlessness of her being stirred her to continue the work. She didn't rest much and the vacation was no where near the break she needed but she felt freer and lighter in soul.

"Lillian, healing is hard to complete. Once you heal one thing, it allows for another to be seen. Sometimes, the memories return because you are ready to heal them on a deeper level. I will be just a call away. When you need me, I will come to take them away and return to pain to those who own them. What happened to you isn't your fault. Just make sure that you don't don't continue to hurt others. Remember, everyone is worthy of love and respect no matter how unworthy they feel." Then, Lady Owl's eyes began to glow and she turned back into her owl shape, "Let the hurts die, and I will take them away to the other worlds or give them to whom they belong."

Lillian woke the next morning and the owl no longer slept in the hole of the dead tree. With a sigh, she looked around her camp ground. She walked to the firepit and stoked the fire to kindle a small flame. Once the flame took hold, she offered the four medicines to the fire giving thanks for the protection, experience and the healing.

With the task of packing up, Lillian began to gather all her supplies and placed them back into her car. As she got into the car, she swore she could hear an owl hooting off in the distance. She smiled and closed the car door and drove out of the space she loved so dearly. As she left the campground, She rolled down the window and released a handful of tobacco and said, "Miigwetch, Miigwetch, Miigwetch, Migwetch (Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you), and drove away with the knowledge Dbaadendiziwin is to serve herself, her family, loved ones and others in the community with humility. She learned to honor everyone regardless of their sense of worth. She gained the death of the old her and was willing to birth a new her in her estranged world.