LA FAMILIA.

Which one is tougher, the journey of carrying a child in the womb or raising that same child? A question I rack my brains over all the time. I am a married woman who faces a challenging choice every day in my union with my handsome husband. We’ve been married for ten years now, and it’s the first time I've lived with a lie buried in me. It’s our daughter, Cute Cate, who unwillingly makes me hide things from the love of my life. You see, my sweet girl just turned fifteen, and she is officially a teen. She has her mother’s features, which, of course, attract the opposite sex. She has a pumping heart that is also pumping emotions of love and desire in her. I had a strained relationship with my mom while growing up, so I learned to keep things to myself. I was never interested in sharing what was nudging me; I was detached from her presence. The audacity to share the escapades going on in my life was stripped away since she was always harsh. To be honest, I grew up living in dread, but one thing I promised myself was that I would teach my daughter better. That I would give her the free space to express her feelings and offer a safe haven for her to prompt her innermost contemplations. To be present when issues bite and gnaw at her soul. No matter the circumstance, I solemnly vowed to be open with her about everything, particularly life and what she was to expect in this cruel world. I was going to mentor her and make her perceive me as her role model. Be gratified with the reality of me being her mom. Be that mom she’ll brag about to her friends. And I can self-assuredly say that I achieved all this. Today, I am a poised mom. My daughter and I have established the most startling bond. As of today, I know her boyfriend. The tall, dark, handsome guy that she won’t stop babbling about, Micah, is her classmate and her age mate. When I was younger, I didn’t want to get involved with men because I was always skeptical of their feelings for me. I wasn’t shown much love as a kid, and I think that subsidized most of my affairs, so whenever I was loomed over by men, I dismissed every single one of them. I desired my space; it was quite a task letting others into my world, but I got to surpass that with time. I got fond of love, got emotionally involved with not-so-promising people, and had my heart turned and tossed and broken into pieces, but the thing is, all these things never killed me; rather, the experiences made me stronger. The lessons modeled me into being a great lover, and then I met my husband.

Cate has a date tonight. This relationship of hers with Micah is top secret. I haven’t told my husband about it, and it kills me inside because I don’t like lying to him. Should I or should I not tell him? I love my man so much that I feel dead inside keeping secrets from him, but my daughter is my life. My pride, my joy Cute is every mother’s aspiration. She completes me in ways that are unexplainable. The words I use here could hardly elucidate my excitement when thoughts of her cross my mind. It is my undying wish to see her prosper in life. She confidently confined her attraction to Micah, trusting that I would keep it to myself, so there is no way I’m letting her down. I have granted her permission to go out tonight but ask her not to stay out late. I caution her to keep her phone on and text after every thirty minutes. I advise her to call me if anything goes wrong. I care for her safety so much that the thought of her being in any danger sends chills down my spine. I would rather die than see her get into trouble or have her injured in any way. I have scheduled lunch dates with this kid, Micah. All I can say is that he isn’t a mischievous kid after all, and I hope beyond hope that he doesn’t mess with my princess, for all hell will break loose. It’s New Year’s Eve, and Micah is already at my gate, ready to pick her up. I know I promised to feed my husband the details, but I haven’t gotten the chance to have a heart-to-heart talk with him. My daughter looks stunning in the red dress I bought for her. She reminds me of when I was a teenager. I didn’t receive such privileges from my mother. She had the habit of having extra-large clothes sewn for me. I still don’t know why. I always felt weird putting on those dresses, and an attempt to trim my school uniform one time landed me in serious trouble. I got my ears pulled so hard that they hurt for a week. Some punishments, though. I cannot spot my husband in the sitting room, so I assume he is in the study. We heard the doorbell loud and clear, and as I pecked my cute cat, the two walked in. My husband is leading the way, followed by Micah, who looks extra tonight. I freeze on the spot. I search my husband’s eyes to see whether he is enraged, but I see nothing. All I see is a serious man ready to unleash his demons.

He then asks our daughter one simple question and demands a straight answer from her.

‘Is this boy courting you?’

‘Yes daddy’

My husband then turns towards our expected guest and asks him to leave, never setting foot in his compound again. He doesn’t want him around Cate again unless he wants a broken rib for himself. I can tell Micah is petrified, and I pity him. He hadn’t signed up for this, and I’m sure he thought Cate’s dad had the information about his relationship with our daughter already. He leaves our presence almost immediately, scared half to death. My daughter makes an attempt to follow him but is sternly warned not to make another move.

‘You are too young to start having boyfriends. Do you want to get pregnant at your age?’

‘Honey, let the child be. Besides, they are doing nothing wrong.’

I try defending our helpless daughter.

‘So you knew this the entire time but didn’t bother to give me a heads up. Are we now keeping things from each other?’

I have nothing to say, so I stare at my husband, who, from the look on his face, exudes pain.

‘Who would have thought that you, of all people, would dare to do this? I feel betrayed. Is Cute not my daughter too?’

I know at this point that no amount of explanation will justify my actions. I decide it’s best I let him cool down first before rendering my apology. He then asks Cute to disappear from his sight, saying they’ll talk later. He then turns to me and shakes his head.

‘I wonder what other things you keep from me. Do I really know the woman I married?’