Jabber Jaw, Then and Now

This is a tale of stardom and downfall, of addiction and recovery, of violence and redemption. This is the story of everyone’s favorite drum playing, shapeshifting, great white shark, Jabber Jaw. Jabber Jaw’s climb to success was simple, he was one of very few talking sharks during a period when talking sharks were in high demand. The shark craze of the 1970s was every talking shark’s dream. He was invited to Hollywood parties before he even had an agent and landed some well-paying modeling work in the early 1970s. He started playing drums in his friend Clamhead’s band, The Neptunes, and the group achieved a superabundance of success.

In 1975, Jaws hit the big screen, and everything changed. Immediately Jabber was offered a staring role in a sitcom named after him. This was every actor’s aspiration, and the stardom quickly went to Jabber’s head. Filming ran into 1976 and by the end Jabber was barely able to function on most days. He was consuming gallons of vodka to keep his two thousand pound body intoxicated. The band’s patience grew thin as Jabber was consistently late to high profile gigs and always had a bucket of alcohol behind his bass drum. Jabber segued into the hallucinogenic scene and would often change into a new song in the middle of a song, to the further dismay of his bandmates.

By the end of filming the show, Biff was refusing to work with Jabber, asking for Misterjaw to substitute. The directors ended up filming Biff and Jabber’s parts separately and then combining them. This was stressful for the other cast members as well, as the often had to be present for both recordings. Already there was talk of scrapping the second season.

When the show was released in 1976, it was an instant success, and Jabber’s already inflated ego skyrocketed to new heights. Now he was drinking scotch by the gallon and ordering shrimp cocktail by the truckload. Then the hard drugs really started; Jabber wasn’t picky, whatever was going around the party was fine by him. As his tolerance rapidly grew due to his immense weight, the doses quickly doubled, then tripled.

His work over the next few years was a drug filled disaster. During his time with Scooby Doo, he would often arrive late with the smell of alcohol on his breath. He repeatedly slurred his lines, requiring multiple takes. He became romantically involved with Daphne, and they would often drink and smoke marijuana on set, further disrupting filming. The Flintstone Roast was another complete disaster. Although Jabber arrived relatively sober, by the time the event ended he had become violently drunk and got into a physical altercation with Dino, barring him from future events.

During the meeting for the second season, Jabber failed to even show up as he was passed out for two days after a bender. Needless to say, they didn’t land a second season and his frustrated friends quickly left his side. Biff filed a restraining order against Jabber because one night Jabber ate a half pound of Quaaludes then shockingly ate Biff’s corgi, Spike. Jabber and Bubbles were never that close and after he missed the meeting, she stopped talking to him completely. Shelly contacted him afterwards, trying to recommend a program but Jabber didn’t want to hear it, so he cut off contact. Clamhead leaving hit him the hardest. Clamhead visited Jabber and mentioned his friend who owned a nice rehab facility up the coast with a view of the ocean. Jabber was wasted and started throwing things, cutting Clamhead’s arm with a piece of broken plate, which required several stitches. After that the two ceased being friends and Jabber spiraled into a pit of despair.

Jabber’s life became fueled by drugs. He was picked up twice on possession of heroin and was forced to act in an educational film each time as community service. Shelly again tried to get him into rehab, but Jabber would have none of it. Misterjaw stopped associating with Jabber after the heroin incidents and Jabber’s list of friends continued to dwindle. Once the reruns stopped airing, the checks stopped coming. Jabber was quickly not only unable to upkeep his expensive lifestyle, but also unable to pay the debt he had already incurred.

During the early 1980s, Jabber withdrew from showbusiness completely. His houses, cars, and yachts were repossessed, and he found himself out on the street, turning tricks just to get high. Although he was arrested numerous times for possession, he never spent much time in jail due to the space and food requirements for a 15 foot shark. Then came the infamous Cabo incident. Jabber was flown down to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for a promotional event. While he was there, he drank a bucket of ayahuasca, bit off a woman’s leg in one of the resort pools, and she tragically bled to death. Jabber spent 1981 to 1983 in a harsh Mexican prison, performing forced sexual acts for narcotics. In 1983 Shelly petitioned the US State Department and had Jabber transferred to a US based prison. In 1984 Jabber was remanded to work release, but here he slipped up again. Jabber skipped work one day and had an LSD fueled night with Rick Allen and ended up biting his arm off. The official story was changed to a car crash after a settlement was reached between the two parties in an attempt to sweep it under the rug. However, Jabber was once again returned to prison.

In 1987, Yogi Bear, who confessed to being a huge fan of Jabber, convinced the court to let Jabber play a cameo role in his show. The filming went well, and Jabber was again allowed on work release. He found work with a roofing crew and was surprised how much he enjoyed some good old fashioned manual labor in the hot sun. Shelly visited him often and the two eventually started dating while he was still incarcerated.

Jabber thoroughly enjoyed the Street Sharks, so Shelly arranged a visit from Ripster and Streex. Together, they finally convinced Jabber to get into a rehab program, and he started to get sober. While in prison, Jabber earned a bachelor’s degree in accounting and then got his MBA. He worked in the prison library from the mid-1990s until his eventual release in 2001, teaching other inmates to read and write and helping many earn their GED.

Shelly was able to reunite the band in 1999 for a music video special. Jabber was allowed work release under supervision. Biff was the most reluctant, but even he showed up. Tensions ran high as Jabber tried unsuccessfully to apologize for eating Spike, but overall the night went without incident.

In 2001 Jabber Jaw was released from prison and moved into a halfway house. He tried to get back into showbiz, landing another role with Scooby Doo. Daphne and Jabber got blackout drunk and Shelly found them passed out together, naked as jaybirds. Shelly broke up with Jabber, but this time instead of falling back into the bottle, he renewed his sobriety. The band was offered a reoccurring role with Harvey Birdman; Biff saying he would only agree if Jabber had to take a breathalyzer every day when arriving to the set. Jabber concurred, and for a while things went well. The band started to play large venues again. Shelly forgave Jabber and the two renewed their relationship. Jabber found acting roles working with Johnny Bravo, the Powerpuff Girls, and the Sealab 2021 crew. All seemed right with the world.

But in 2007, his fame slipped away again. Jabber had been having an affair with Bubbles, who was going through a heavy alcohol phase herself, and Shelly caught them in the shower. The events of that night are too gruesome to write about, but afterwards Shelly was missing three fingers, two on the left hand and one on the right. Bubbles had to have her left leg amputated from the knee down, and Jabber was in a coma for six weeks. All three were arrested and spent around six months in jail. When Jabber was released, Shelly had a restraining order against him and this time he did fall back into the bottle. In zero time flat he was back to working corners to pay for his bad habits. A few years passed into one long drug fueled night for Jabber, and he again found himself spending many nights in jail for possession and prostitution.

Daphne found Jabber living on skid row in 2011 and was able to coerce him back into rehab. She got the band a role in a Scooby Doo episode and although he showed up sober, he started drinking on set. By the end of the day he was belligerent; he vomited on Thelma’s stockings and punched Fred in the stomach. Shaggy had to threaten to use one percent of his power for Jabber to finally stop and leave the set. After Jabber stormed out, Shelly confronted Daphne and punched her in the face, giving Daphne a black eye.

Again, Jabber fell out of the spotlight and into hardcore drug use. He did a commercial but showed up inebriated, further proving how difficult he was to work with. Jabber fell down another deep hole of depression and drugs. He moved down to Florida and almost immediately got arrested and spent four months in jail for credit card fraud. He met some shady people in jail and for a few years after was running small amounts of drugs up and down the Florida coast. Years again passed the same as before with every night being spent either blacked out or incarcerated.

In 2017 Jabber Jaw was admitted to the emergency room on a cocaine overdose. His heart briefly stopped, and he had to be defibrillated. Shelly flew down to Florida as soon as she heard and again helped Jabber through rehab. He got sober and she convinced him to move back to California with her. He did and again found acting work with DC Comics and Robot Chicken. Jabber, Shelly, and Daphne had lunch to clear the air and things went well. Daphne even got Jabber a cameo on a new Scooby Doo movie.

Yogi Bear and Jabber Jaw became close friends. In Yogi’s memoirs he chronicled his own struggle with addiction that he kept hidden for many years. The two play disc golf every weekend and Jabber has a starring role in Yogi’s new show. Daphne again acted as Jabber’s unofficial agent, securing him a role in the Space Jam reboot where Jabber finally apologized to the Flintstones in his quest for forgiveness.

Jabber has now been sober for over four years and volunteers often giving motivational speeches at various rehabilitation centers. Shelly and he are still a couple, and the band now plays mostly small gigs up and down the coast. Clamhead and Jabber go bicycling every other week or so, but their friendship is only a sliver of what it once was. Biff says he will never totally forgive Jabber, and they generally don’t speak to each other at events. There is also still tension over the Bubbles situation as they have yet to clear the air like Shelly and Daphne did. Bubbles still struggles with alcoholism and is constantly in and out of treatment facilities.

In a recent interview Jabber Jaw said he is hopeful for the future. He has owned up to his addictions and has paid his debt to society for the unfortunate demise of the woman in Cabo. He attends weekly group and one on one therapy sessions. Jabber said he wanted everyone whom he has hurt to know he is sorry and thinks often about his mistakes. He ended by saying he will work on himself every day, forever looking for redemption in sobriety.