Into the Icy Blue

"Come now, hurry up," The plump woman said as she ushered the kids from the car and the oldest boy grabbed all of their bags off the back rack.

"Got the bags ...uhm... mum?" he said with a slow questioning grunt.

She gave the boy a curt nod, noticing the look on his face. It was obvious to her that the phrase felt strange to him, and he was unsure of it. She continued shooing the remaining kids to the line boarding the large ship.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Mary Alice was a young widow from Spokane, Washington, who after the death of her husband learned of his children in his home village of Queenstown, Ireland. Shocked to find out that he had a second family halfway across the world from her, but feeling obligated to help the children, she left her three kids with her parents, booked a trip to Ireland, and traveled to try to fix the mistakes of her late husband.

When she arrived in Queenstown, she was shocked to find out that there were four children, the oldest being thirteen and the youngest being four, and their mother was gravely ill. Her first intention was to bring money to the family and make them aware of their father’s gruesome passing; however, after meeting the family and seeing the tiny hovel he allowed them to live in, Mary Alice became enraged knowing that the man she loved and had committed her life to not only had a second family, but that she was actually the second wife, and that he kept this family is shambles. Most of the clothing the children wore were rags and barely fit, wearing gunny sacks as dresses while their mother was skin and bone. She went to the market with the oldest boy, John, and he helped her purchase food and other basic necessities that the family had gone without for so long, as well as medicine and clothing for their mother, Elizabeth.

John cooked a big dinner, while Mary Alice and Elizabeth sat and talked. So many emotions flowed from the room where the two women were conversing, he could not handle being in there, so he opted to prepare supper using the bounty he and Mary Alice had brought back.

"So, you’re the woman Alistor met in the states." Elizabeth questioned, taking a sip of her hot tea.

"I am; and Elizabeth, I am sorry, I was not aware he had a wife and kids already. I feel horrible."

"No need to feel that way dear; you did not know, it is not on you. Alistor is the one who made his bed, and he is now paying for his deceit."

"I can't believe he had two families, which are now without him." Mary Alice sighed, "I was sad originally for losing him, but now I am conflicted. I am sad still at his passing, but additionally, I am sad for the kids he has left on both sides; but also I am angry for the amount of lies on both sides he gave. He always told me his company was sending him here for business, when he was coming to spend time and bring money to his original family."

"He told us his company had him stationed in the states, that he was in charge of a large firm and that is why he couldn't be with us all the time, which didn't seem right, since he did not send back much money to live on." She coughed for a moment and took a deep breath.

"I have the cancer,” she said quietly, hanging her head down.

"Oh, my gosh!" Mary Alice gasped.

"Alistor said that he was going to take me and the children back to the states soon. He even bought tickets on that new luxury liner, the Titanic." Elizabeth stopped to catch her breath. "But I guess that isn't going to happen now. Please, Mary Alice, how did he die?"

Mary Alice looked at her with tears in her eyes, "So, Alistor was a foreman for a large prestigious construction firm back in Spokane. He was on a jobsite building the new City Hall, which is a very large, intricately planned building of German design. There were some new guys brought on by the designer, and they only spoke German, so you can image the issues that would arise."

"Oh dear, was he killed by Germans?”

"Oh no, I guess kinda? But not really."

"I don't understand."

"He was yelling at some men, trying to tell them were to move the crane to, it had a large platform with stacks of bricks on it. They didn't understand and started yelling back, and one of the men threw his hands in the air, accidently hitting a lever and dropping the platform."

"Oh, dear baby Jesus!" Elizabeth gasped and covered her mouth.

"The whole thing fell on Alistor, and while he didn’t feel any pain and died instantly, he saw his death coming."

Mary Alice stared into her teacup for a moment while the silence enveloped them, focusing on the crack that danced from the bottom to the top of the cup. Giggling erupted from down the small hallway, as three girls came prancing out of the bathroom, dripping wet, but clean.

"Thank you, Miss, for the soap!" the oldest girl said. "I can't remember the last time we were able to use soap that smelled pretty!"

"Like flowers!" the youngest said.

"Now girls, why don't you get dressed for supper? John is making something that smells wonderful." Elizabeth said meekly, "Mary Alice, will you step with me to my bedroom? I have something to ask you privately."

The women stood up and took the few steps to her room. Elizabeth shuffled to the edge of the bed and slowly sat down, the black circles around her eyes an indicator of how tired and exhausted she was. She started coughing for a moment, but regained herself and took a deep breath.

"Mary Alice..." she coughed again.

"Elizabeth, I am sorry for everything, and had I known Alistor was married, I never would have..."

Elizabeth put her pale, boney hand up. "Mary Alice, it is ok. I am not mad at you at all, Alistor yes, but not you." She put her hand to her chest and struggled to breathe. "I am very sick. The doctors are surprised I have stuck around this long."

Mary Alice nodded; she could see the woman was barely hanging on.

"I don't know how long I have honestly, but, maybe you can help me."

Mary Alice leaned in, holding her breath, almost fearful of what this woman, a woman she just met but shared a husband with, was going to ask of her.

"Take my children with you,” she said almost breathlessly. "Someone needs to take care of them, and you are the closest thing to a mother for them now. You said you had children at home; they would love to meet their siblings." Elizabeth coughed a few times, and reached for a cloth to wipe the blood from her hand. "I need to know my kids will be okay, and I fear I am not long for this world."

Mary Alice sat down on the bed next to Elizabeth, her mind whirling with the question that that was put before her. There was so much to consider, whether could she afford to care for a total of seven children, though it was better than them going to an orphanage.

Elizabeth reached over to the chest of drawers by the bed and pulled out a stained envelope. She held it in her hands for a moment and took a couple deep breaths. Mary Alice took in how thin Elizabeth looked, and how frail. Her hair was thinning, her eyes had no glisten to them, and they were surrounded by dark circles. Elizabeth stretched out her arm to hand Mary Alice the envelope.

"These are the tickets Alistor purchased." she coughed and wheezed as she took a breath in.

"Elizabeth, there is an extra ticket here. Come with us." Mary Alice said, "Come stay with us, we have good doctors."

She shook her head. "I would never make it." She looked up at the setting sun that shown through the tattered curtain, and the glistening of a tear streaming down her face caught Mary Alice's attention.

"Take the kids, give them a better life. Sell the other ticket." She scooted over and laid her head down, "Please. I do not want them to see me this way."

Mary Alice sighed and looked at the envelope in her hands. "Ok Elizabeth. I will take them with me."

Elizabeth smiled, "Thank you, please, help me up so we can tell the children, and they can pack. The Titanic leaves tomorrow."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Mary Alice held the kids close as they stood in line, only a couple bags on them, and the difference between her appearance and how the children looked seemed to catch people’s attention. The kids were upset the night before when they were told the news. John understood, and did his best to console the others, and that morning’s good-bye hugs seemed to last forever. Mary Alice had snuck out earlier that morning, sold the ticket, and put the money in Elizabeth's bag, so she had something to survive on for a little bit.

As they inched closer to the top of the ship, the excitement continued to grow in the children.

"We are gonna go to America?" the middle girl asked.

"Yes,” John said shortly, his tone making obvious that he did not like the decision that was made about his life without consulting him. "Momma made the decision that we all need to go live with a complete stranger in a whole 'nother continent, than to be with her."

"John," Mary Alice said sharply. "There is far more to the situation than that."

"Didn't Momma love us?" the youngest girl asked.

John shrugged and looked away.

"Yes dear, your momma loves you very much, but she is very sick, and wants the best for you,” Mary Alice said, placing her hand atop of the girl’s head while making eye contact with John. "Sometimes adults and parents have to make hard decisions for what is best for their children."

As the group crested the top railings of the boat, Mary Alice handed the tickets to the steward, and he looked them over, glancing at her and dropping his eyes to the kids, and then his eyebrow cocked up.

"Your... kids?"

"Yes." She said quickly, "Is that a problem?"

"No Ma’am. It just seems weird; the kids are in rags, but you’re in decent clothes, and your tickets are first class."

"What? I'm sorry my husband purchased the tickets, I was not aware."

He nodded and rang a bell; a young boy barely older than John came up, grabbed their bags and glanced at the tickets, "Right this way, Ma'am.”

The group followed the boy to their cabin. He opened the door and allowed them inside, smiling as gasps ensued from the children.

"Welcome to first class. A waitress should be around shortly with afternoon tea and biscuits. Please make yourselves at home." He bowed as he left the room and closed the door.

"This... is what Dad bought?" John said his mouth gaping open as he looked around, "He bought first class tickets, but left us in squalor for our whole lives?"

"I guess so..." Mary Alice looked around, still amazed. "Oh! I have some presents for everyone too. I did a little shopping this morning." She pulled out a few wrapped packages.

"John, here you go. Emily for you, Bridget and Kathleen these are for you girls too." She handed out the packages and watched the kids start to unwrap them.

Everyone pulled out their new clothes, a couple of books, and some toys. Squeals of excitement filled the room as everyone started to put on the clothes.

"I haven't ever had new trousers that fit!" John said excitedly, as he fastened the suspenders to his pants.

"A dress all my own!" Kathleen and Bridget squealed together.

Emily shifted around as she took out the clothes and glanced over them. "Why?”

Mary Alice looked shocked for a moment, but then she nodded. "I just thought you would like some new clothes."

"Why? To make us your own children? To force us to look American? To rub into our poor mother’s face in what she could not provide for us? WHY?!"

Mary Alice's hand shot up to her neck, surprised at the outburst from Emily.

"Emily!" John hushed her. "Show some respect! Mary Alice did not have to take us in, and who knows how long we would have been with Mum before she perished, then what? huh? Cast out to the streets? Mary Alice did as Mum asked, and took us in and is taking us to a new start, and to meet our siblings! We have more siblings!"

"So?! We have siblings NOT with our Mother!" Emily screamed and stomped her foot, "It is scandalous! It is wrong!"

John walked over and grabbed Emily by the shoulders, bending down so that he was eye to eye with her.

"Look, Mary Alice had NOTHING to do with our Father’s indiscretions. She did not know of us, just as we did not know of her. Judge her not for our Father’s sins, as she is trying to make them better," John said deeply.

Emily dropped her dress, stormed to the corner of the room, and sat on the bed. Her shoulders bobbed up and down as she faced the wall. Mary Alice's heart hurt, but she turned to John and smiled.

"Thank you, John."

"No worries, Ma'am. It is a weird situation that’s for sure. But we can all make the best of it."

Mary Alice smiled and grabbed a book from her luggage, motioning for everyone to gather around. She told them of her children at home, where their home was, and of the town they lived in. Flipping through pages of the photo album, she explained the life they had and all the exciting things in Spokane for them to do.

"Mum! What is today?" Kathleen asked timidly.

"April 11, 1912, my dear, why?"

"April 11.... The first day of the rest of our lives!" She squealed and grabbed Bridget's hand and they ran around in circles, singing, "April 11 starts our new life!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Emily calmed down after a good night’s rest and some good food, and the group started becoming accustomed to ship life. All the while Mary Alice and the kids were slowly learning each other’s mannerisms and the new rules. The afternoon of April 14th was a day filled with fun. Mary Alice sat by the pool with her tea and biscuits, watching the kids play in the warmed water. Then they were off to change clothes and have a delightful dinner, where the kids got to meet Mr. Ismay, the cruise line director, and Mary Alice got to shake hands with Edward Smith, the ship’s captain, and was completely smitten by his charm. John and the girls made sure to make fun of her when she returned to the table.

As the evening progressed, the group decided to have a relaxing evening in their room with books, and tea and sweets. Mary Alice told funny stories about her kids at home, and the children told jokes and described schoolyard chums they had. They were nearing their destination, with much more expected travel at hand.

"When we land in New York, we will then board a train that will take us all the way across the United States, to our home in Spokane. You all will love it; there is so much to do!"

"Is there snow?” Kathleen asked.

"In the winter, so much snow! You can build an igloo!"

"Like Eskimos?"

"Yes ma'am!”

All three girls set to giggling with excitement. After a few hours of fun, Mary Alice directed everyone to bed, pointing out that they needed their energy for the fun day ahead the next morning. She kissed them all good night, and tucked herself in her warm and cozy bed.

Mary Alice awoke to someone banging on the cabin door. Getting up quickly, she grabbed her sheer night coat and slipped it on over her nightgown as she ran to the door.

"Yes?" she mumbled groggily.

"Ma'am, I apologize for the intrusion, but I am afraid we have to ask everyone to vacate the cabins and go on deck. We seem to have struck an iceberg and are taking on water rapidly."

"But isn't the great Titanic unsinkable?"

"Yes ma'am, this is just a precaution, till we can get everything under control."

"This seems a little crazy for a precaution doesn't it?"

"I agree completely, I personally think it is a waste of time, but Captain Smith seems to think it’s necessary."

"Well if Captain Smith thinks so...." She brushed a strand of lose hair from her face.

The Cabin boy nodded his head and turned away in a hurry to the next room. Mary Alice went to the beds and started shaking the children,

"Come on everyone, get dressed we need to go up to the deck."

"Mmmmmrmmrmrm," the girls mumbled, but John was already up.

"I heard. I think this is more than what they are letting on. Come on girls, hurry up!”

Mary Alice herded the group out the door, and joined the line to the stairs for the deck. Servers and ladies’ maids were rushing around handing out life vests. Grabbing a few of the vests, John helped his sisters into them and handed one to Mary Alice. She fastened it quickly as they crested the threshold of the stairwell to the deck.

The icy air and a salty sea breeze instantly penetrated the few layers of clothing they had on, and moisture started sticking to their white gauzy nightgowns. The group was herded over towards the life boats while the deck crew called out commands.

"Women and children first! Men stay back!" one man screamed to the gathering crowd. "Orderly now, we must evacuate the ship!"

"Does this mean the Titanic is actually sinkable?" someone screamed from the crowd, "Are we going to die?"

"This is JUST a precaution! Now please, Women and children to board!"

Emily reached up, grabbed Mary Alice’s hand, and gave it a small tug, "Are we going to die?"

Mary Alice looked down at the child, and seeing the fear and tears in her eyes broke her heart. She was terrified but could not let the children know.

"Oh dear, no, no. We have too much to do at home to die here in the icy blue."

"Yea, Emily, it is going to be okay!" John spoke up and wrapped his arms around her. "Captain Smith is taking a good precaution just in case."

The boat shuddered and lights started flickering, causing a wave of panic to wash over the crowds as people started to flock the lifeboats.

"BACK!" the orderly screamed, pulling a gun from his jacket and shooting in to the air. Screams erupted into the night as chaos emerged, pairing with the slight lifting and tilting of the ship. Murmurs and cries infiltrated everyone's hearts along with the sudden realization that this was not a drill, and they were indeed, sinking.

Mary Alice grabbed the kids and pushed through the crowds towards the lifeboats as people were trying to climb in and jump into boats already heading down to the ice-infested waters. Getting to the edge, the orderly looked at her and the kids and sighed.

"Ma'am, there is only room for four more."

"What do you mean? The boat is only half full!" John screamed

"We don't know how much weight these boats can hold honestly, we never thought we would need them.... they were just for decoration."

Mary Alice looked at the boat and the kids, "Is there another with more room?"

"I'm afraid not, this is the last one."

"How did you not have enough boats for all the passengers? What about the lower classes?"

"Didn't think we needed them, and as for them, they should have been better cast," he said, shrugging. "Now are you picking who is getting on, or someone else?"

"Are you sure only four? You can't fit five?"

"I would stake my life on it…and since I’ll be losing that soon, I am dead serious."

Mary Alice dropped her eyes for a moment and turned to the kids. Bending down, she gave them each a big hug, and reached into her evening coat pocket, pulling out her wallet and placed it in Johns hand.

"Here is my wallet. It has the tickets home, money, and the address to my parents with your new siblings. Please, take care of everyone."

"Mum?" John whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Please, take care of everyone."

She turned back around and sighed, "Then take my four kids please!"

The orderly nodded and ushered the kids into the boat, and an elderly woman reached out and helped the girls in and held them close.

"Oh, dear," she said sadly and looked away from Mary Alice.

"Mum!" Bridget screamed.

"Please don't do this!" Emily cried out, wrapping her arms around Kathleen, who was sobbing uncontrollably.

"You girls will be fine; you have each other and John."

"But..." John mumbled as he took his seat, looking at the older woman who was trying to hug the girls.

"It is ok... really...” she wiped a tear from her eye and smiled. "You have full lives ahead of you. Go, live, love, and thrive my dears. Remember me and your mother; we will be watching over you always."

Mary Alice released her grip on the kids, and stepped back, giving a gentle wave and blowing a kiss as the boat started lowering. Bridget reached her arms out for Mary Alice and continued to cry, Kathleen sobbed, while Emily whimpered. John wiped a tear off his check and gave a gentle wave as the boat lowered further and she slowly started to fade from their sight.

The boat splashed as it connected with the dark void, and some water filled the bottom. Women screamed while trying to lift their feet, complaining that it was wet and cold. The crewman onboard started paddling away, as other crewmen in other boats encouraged them to speed up. Someone mentioned that the sink would create a vacuum and drag everyone under if they did not get far enough away, causing many people in several boats to start to panic. John grabbed an oar from the man and nodded, both of them working together to get away. They watched people diving off the now vertical giant, hoping to land in boats, but missing and diving straight into their icy death. One man landed on a large chunk of ice head first, and blood sprayed on a nearby boat filled with women and men who had bribed a crewman to let them on.

Mary Alice ran quickly into a nearby room as the ship had started to rise and slipped through the door. Realizing it was the wheelhouse, she closed the door and stumbled towards a banister around the edge of the wall, holding on for dear life as it tilted. She noticed a figure near her out of the corner of her eye that was holding onto the steering wheel as it twisted left and right.

"Captain Smith?" she screamed.

"Madam? Why are you not on a boat?"

"They told me there was not enough room; the boats are all less than half full!"

"What?! I told them to do their best to look after the women and children!"

The wheel spun around rapidly, and Captain Smith lost his grip. The rising ship bucked him to the wall where Mary Alice was, and he crashed into it next to her. She reached out and grabbed his jacket, pulling him close to her.

"Grab on!"

"What's the point? We are going to die anyways. I will never see my dear Sarah or my darling daughter again!" Tears streamed down his cheeks disappearing into his snow white beard.

"The point is, if we hold on we won’t die in as much pain with broken bones! I have just put my four new adopted stepchildren in a lifeboat, no idea if they are going to live, and if they will make it home to my three children and my parents. I know your pain, Captain, but at least we’ll be together and not alone."

Captain Smith looked at her and smiled, "Can you do me a favor? May I kiss you, a kiss for Sarah?"

Mary Alice nodded, "Of course, but I will ask for a favor in return." She winked at him and laughed, leaning in.

Feeling the warmth that pressed against her lips and the strong hand that reached up and held the back of her head, fingers entangled in her hair, as the arctic water burst through the windows and engulfed them, and the giant monster sunk beneath the dark surface.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A knock came in the night, stirring the occupants of the large Spokane home. The evening light cast soft shadows across the Browne's Addition neighborhood, giving it a warm and welcoming feeling. A plump older woman opened the front door, holding her evening robe tightly closed, and bringing a hand up to the curlers nestled gently in her graying hair.

"Yes, officer?" she asked sleepily.

"Ma'am, I’m sorry to bother you, but I have a fairly large package for you and your grandchildren from your daughter."

"What? I heard the news; did my daughter make it back? Is she alive?"

The officer gave her a saddened look and sighed. "I am sorry, ma’am, your daughter didn’t make it, but she sent her four step-children to you. They are a bit shaken up, and could use a good hot meal, but I bet they have a lot to tell you."

The officer stepped aside, revealing four dirty and tired looking children, who all held onto each other tightly, their tear-stained cheeks rosy from the cold air.

"Oh, my dear children!" she gasped. "Please come in, come in. It is late, so the others are asleep, but let’s get some cocoa in you and I can whip up a batch of porridge." She opened the door wide and stood aside. "Thank you, officer. I can't imagine what these poor children have gone through."

"I don't think anyone can," he said softly as he tipped his hat to her.

"Officer... I haven't thanked you properly for bringing the children to me... please, what is your name?"

The policeman turned and smiled as the glow of the streetlights above him cast a brilliant circle around him, causing his bright white beard and eyes to sparkle.

"Smith."