I'm Always Losing Love
What dating is like for a socially anxious man
My heart beats. I know that because I can feel it pounding in my chest whenever I see her. She excites me and terrifies me at the same time. She's a conundrum. She could be my soul mate or a dream I'll never see the end to. But that's ok. Just a glimpse of her beauty is more than I deserve.
I don't mean to stare, but she makes me nervous. I want her to know my name.
Our eyes meet, but I'm scared, frozen. I can't speak. I need a sign to find the courage. Something undeniable...
She's gone.
.
*This story is an entry into the microfiction challenge*
**This may be fictitious, but it may as well be real. As a single man with social anxiety, I often experience interactions like this. I have missed out on many potential great loves due to the immobility my anxiety gives me. I live in a perpetual daydream of love but a reality unrequited.**
***Leave a comment and let me know what you think. Have you ever experienced something similar?***
About the Creator
Simon George
I write poetry, fiction, and non-fiction. In 2021, I published my debut book "The Truth Behind The Smile" a self-help guide for your mental health based on my personal experience with depression. Go check it out.
IG: @AuthorSimonGeorge
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Comments (2)
Simon, you've pretty much pegged me on the social scene. We didn't figure out that I was autistic for 57 years. There was one person from my senior class of 344 who went to the same college. She was homecoming queen & always the belle of the ball. Everyone adored her. To top it off, she was a terrific person & genuinely nice to everyone. At college she started dating my roommate. Second semester, she had offered to teach me how to play Othello. While we were playing, she asked, "Why weren't you nice to me in high school? Your brothers always talked to me, but you never did." "Oh, Lynn," I responded. "I couldn't. I was never good enough for you. I couldn't even bear to try." After that, I figured out a way to break the ice. I'd simply ask her to marry me, she'd say no, we'd get to talking & become friends. That's essentially how I met my wife. She was one of two striking beauties in the incoming class at seminary (sorry for the objectification, but it was an empirical fact). She had volunteered for a committee of which I was the chair. Two of her classmates who were desperately smitten with her were also on the committee. Every meeting I would torture them by saying that yeah, the two of us were going to get married. After about a month of this, she came up to me in private & said, "You have to stop doing that. It's too mean to them." I responded, "Okay, but if we can't get married, can we at least go out on a date?" She said, "Yes," & the rest is history. We've now been married for over 37 years.
This is so sad and relatable! felt the emotion deeply! Before I was married I was incredibly socially awkward and was not successful in love! Doubt I'd be much different now! Great piece and I know how it feels!