How to Get Rid of Your Boss?

If you really don’t like your boss or plain hate him/her, you are sure that your life is going to be easier without that person. So, what are your options?

Meet Mark

There is a guy I met a few years ago that goes by the name of Mark. He is in his mid 30's, medium height, a bit chubby and slowly, but surely balding. Not actually a person that would stand out in a crowd.

Mark has a semi-boring job in a middle sized company. But his job is not the problem: it’s his boss. That man always has some new demands, comments, additional questions, ways how Mark can improve his productivity etc. Let us be fair: Mark was completing his tasks (mostly) well and on time, but he has never given more than is needed. Going the extra mile was never his thing. He had no particular desire to get a promotion, only to do his job and go home afterwards.

However, Mark’s boss was a person who saw many areas where Mark can improve his performance. All those suggestions and the unwanted attention from his boss made Mark uneasy and somewhat angry. That does not happen too often, since he has a mild and peaceful character. Some would say he is down right phlegmatic. But he does not like it when someone disturbs his peace of mind and his daily routine.

So, Mark sees that he has to get rid of his boss. How? Pushing his boss down the stairs seems too risky! Deep inside, Mark is a misanthrope, but not a murderer. Violence has never been his style, anyway. What else can he do?

Changing a company also solves nothing, because there is always another boss out there lurking.

What about starting his own company? Well, that means getting way out of Mark’s comfort zone and taking too much responsibility. There has to be another solution!

The ideal scenario

Mark knows what his goal is here: insulating himself from any kind of pressure and responsibility. He needs to find a job where everyone will leave him alone.

Enter: stealth mode! Get the office at the bottom floor (basement, if possible), at the far end of the building. Avoid pesky colleagues who always want to share another “awesome” story from their lives. Become a ghost.

What about the salary? His earnings are decent, but if he could bump it up for circa 50 percent, he would be more than happy. Yachts and private jets are only for frustrated people, who are eager to prove that size doesn’t really matter in life, so they overcompensate for their shortcomings (no pun intended).

Observed from above, Mark’s ideal is living in the comfort zone, the path of least resistance. That attitude is even in accordance with some eastern philosophies. He never considered himself a philosopher, but it made him smile when he read this ancient teaching. Somehow, he always saw wisdom in this approach to life.

An urban legend

Mark remembered a story about a guy in a big company whom we will call “Lucky”. He got into technical support (TS) for the customers world wide. He was a part of the team for level 1 Tech support with an average salary. Level 2 support was covered by only one guy, who happened to be a nephew of a minister in the government. Naturally, he arranged for his nephew to have a salary that is 4 times higher than average for that position.

However, after a year or so, the nephew got bored and decided to become an entrepreneur. He left the company without even officially resigning. At the same time, the whole TS team has been outsourced to southern Asia. The exception was the position of Level 2 TS and Lucky was selected to cover this position until further notice.

Somehow, the management had forgotten that this position was unusually well paid and Lucky sure wasn’t complaining. His only job was monitoring the functioning of a certain telecommunication tower and writing daily reports about it. He was effectively working two hours a day and having the rest of the day for himself. It took them more than three years to realize that this is an anomaly that cannot exist in corporate culture!

Mark has plan

A job like that would be Mark's wet dream. Not so much because of the money, but because of peace, quiet, and lots of free time. Of course, many things would have to happen for him to get where he wants to be. He would need to find a similar position in the firm and grab it ASAP. Mark was never really an ambitious person or a high achiever. Brains he always had, but no motivation to excel at anything. Now, he has finally found a worthy goal: a position that he deserves and must have!

Also, Mark has some unusual super powers. For one, he is a master of finding plausible, yet difficult-to-debunk excuses. For any request put in front of him, he had multiple types of reasons why he cannot do that task right now and why someone else would be a much better choice. He was a natural born reactive person: never proactive, but always ready to re-act in an unsuspected manner.

The other super power is his intricate knowledge of working law and all the company’s rules and regulations: official and official. Long time ago, he realized that this knowledge is essential for finding loopholes in the system, so he can manipulate it to his advantage.

Mark will put all the effort into steering himself toward such a position in a firm. That would mean solving the boss-problem for the foreseeable future. Ideally, he would advise a way to make him indispensable at that cozy job, so that no one can replace him. That would take some serious planning and dedication, but it is worth it. Nothing can buy your peace of mind and that wonderful feeling of being-left-alone!

And you know what? Somehow we suspect that Mark will make it. When people put their mind to something, they usually find a way. For the first time in his life, he has a clear goal and the motivation and determination to reach it. Carpe diem, Mark!