Him

It feels like so long ago… I don’t know how much longer I even want to keep writing. It all seems so useless at this point. What happened? What did I do? Why do I deserve to be punished for your actions? What did you do? What was so important that you just had to go and abandon me huh?! We had everything, and then you ruined it all…

We were so happy together... We would spend so much time at the park, watching the kids play, smelling the fresh meals and coffee from Aroma’s across the street. I always loved the way the coffee beans dragged you into the door with their alluring scent. We would have coffee every day together and sit on our bench, hearing the innocent laughter of children that We so wanted to be our’s. We were so entwined ; I could never get you out of my head. Then, you gave me that locket. You had a matching silver one on your sternum when you presented it to me. The beautiful sparkling gold heart that made us kiss every time it was closed. That’s when it started…

You started growing distant from me… What did I do ; what did you do? What happened that day? The children weren’t laughing, the coffee was gone, there was only grey. The children were crying, lumbering around like shapes I could barely make out. The Coffee sign was twisted into a devilish view, unable to make out the words anymore. All my favorite things were gone and twisted in horrid ways. The people around us wouldn’t stop staring at me with disgust ; what did I do to them? What did you tell them about me to make them hate me so much?! Why did you do this? Worst of all, I couldn’t even see your face. Empty sockets stared back at me with this nefarious smile. People weren’t people anymore…

I couldn’t take it anymore… That’s when you disappeared. You did this to the world, to me! Then you just left as if it was nothing. All of your things disappeared into the night. I searched for you! The monstrous figures that used to be human either ignored my pleas for help or begged me to give up and die ; to join them in their twisted ways. I couldn’t do that though. I had to find you. I had to get my revenge on the person I used to love so much. You did this to me, and you were going to fix it. I refused to give up. I battered every demon that wouldn’t help me, climbed to the tops of desolate towers, searching for any reminisce of you. I scavenged any food that I could possibly find in this giant gaze of grey, just trying to keep myself going. I wasn’t about to let you get away with this. You destroyed my world and you needed to see how it felt…

I searched and searched for you… I had looked in every crevice of every building for you, ignoring the screams of any creature or machine that had gotten in my way. What used to be beautiful colors of cars were now grey and spiked horrid beings, chasing me through the streets with their wails and grey lights shining every time they saw me. I had to turn to our old spot under the tree in the park to get away. Only you and I knew of the manhole cover that was oddly out of place. When I went back for the first time, the creatures didn’t seem to notice it. Any time they started for me I would hide in the place we would run to when we felt alone. I hated this place with a burning passion, but it was the only thing keeping me alive from the monstrous sirens outside. While I was there I thought of your old house...

That’s when it happened… I found a creature that knew of you. I could barely understand it, but it said that it was your mom. You were so despicable that you turned your own mother into an amorphous creature with almost no ability to live?! I detested you for that. After I had learned that you had left for the north with another woman, I couldn’t take it! I lashed out on the creature, more out of mercy if you thought about it. Your mom, no this creature didn’t deserve to suffer like this. The hunt was on once again. I wasn’t done looking for you, and now I knew of your destination. A hospital two days north huh? It was ironic that after devastating everything that you would take shelter in a place of healing. Regardless, I was going to find you. My bloodlust had grown so much that I didn’t feel the need to sleep. Was this what these creatures felt like? This power was scary, but useful. I knew I could gain on you…

I avoided the creatures with ease at this point. They didn’t look at me with hatred at night. They almost didn’t notice me at all. Even the sirens and lights were scarce at night, which made getting to you that much more simple. All I needed to do was move and eat, only resting to catch my breath. Once I knew the lay of the land, the day became a slow and careful adventure. I was so much farther away from home than I had ever been ; at this point there was no safe place for me to hide. All I could do was run. Is this what you wanted? To know that I was suffering without you? You accomplished that much, but I wasn’t going to let you enjoy it much longer…

I knew once I got my hands on you it would all be over... I would tell you and force you to face the truth of what you did. You forced my hand. I had no choice but to dispose of any creature in my way to find you. It was your fault that your once beautiful, now twisted mother was gone. It was your fault my life was full of grey and the scent of nothing but iron. I couldn’t see colors anymore or taste anything because of you! My world was ruined…

My thoughts were flooding with ways to ruin you as I came upon a large, blackened, windowless building… Once used for healing now turned into this outpost of disgust and anguish. It was so close ; I was so close to getting my vengeance. As I searched the building, climbing those endless stairs, striking down any creature that had come in my path, I had found you. You were standing there, in all of your blank glory, that grin never leaving your face. As I approached I saw what seemed to be a normal human. I hadn’t seen anyone else in so long. Her skin was grey, her features untouched by the rest of this cruelty you spread across the world. Why did you keep her? Why not me?! Why does she get to be normal while you destroy everything else around you?! I couldn’t take it…

As I approached, you tried to grab me, but with this corruption you had given me, you were nothing… I was past the point of no return and I took the machine next to her and slammed you with it. I tackled you to the ground, holding you down as you continued to smile at me. Then I heard the sirens. Those high pitched screams of your minions that surrounded us. If I was going to die here, so were you. I lashed out with all my might, but no matter how hard I tried you wouldn’t stop moving! Once the devils were here to help you, I knew it was over. All this work to get you was going to be a waste. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Had I done all this for nothing? I found you and was so close. That’s when the world went black. It had felt as if I had finally fallen asleep after all this time. The last thing I heard was you saying that I had lost…

When I awoke, I could see white… I could see white! I could see a grey chair, I could see glass across the room ; I could also see… red. There was red everywhere. I had red on my clothes, in my hair, on my hands, under my nails, everywhere. There was so much red. What happened? Did I get you? Was I finally free of your corruption? I was so happy I tried to jump, but I was shackled to the ground. Where was I? When I started to look at my legs a door opened, seemingly out of nowhere, and a human walked through! I almost didn’t recognize the blue shirt and black pants, with a gun to his waist. He sat down in front of me and asked me questions, too many questions to count. After what had felt like hours he had given me a book to write in. He said to write down all of the horrible things you did. I was told everything you did wasn't actually true. The officer took my book as soon as I was done writing. After that I was put into a very small room, left to think about what you did to me. After a long time they took me out. I was put in chains and taken to one of the largest courtrooms I had ever seen. They sat me down alone and gave me this new book to write anything I wanted in…

After a while, a trial began and they began to berate me with all of the horrible things I had done, not even mentioning that it was all your fault. According to them I had assaulted multiple people, which was a lie. They told me that I had killed your beautiful mother with my bare hands. She was no longer beautiful! You twisted her into this demonic creature, yearning for death. I was told I resisted arrest multiple times and even killed an officer. All of these accusations were lies! You did this. You did all of this to me! Worst of all, they accused me of killing your dying sister! She was… in a hospital… with a machine next to her barely keeping her alive… They said you were there for weeks and couldn't have done any of these things I accused you of… but how was that possible? No it was you! I hate you! This was all your fault! You and that stupid locket… the gold, no silver, no… the locket they said I had on wasn’t a locket at all… It was a decayed heart, barely being held onto by a golden chain. What happened? Why was it bleeding? Where did the gold go? Where is it?! Where… am… I..?