Heaven’s Gate

“Help!” Bill screams into the void. His voice is growing hoarse. Everything is bright, so damn bright.

He takes in his surroundings as he continues to walk forward. When did he start walking? How the f**k did he get here? What is this place?

He nearing the looming golden gate and fence. Are his eyes deceiving him?

“Hello? Help me! Please!”

Sean turns around. “Hello! O'er here!” he waves. His smile is wide, reaching to his beautiful blue eyes.

Bill rushes over. “Where are we? How did I get here? Who are you?” he shouts breathlessly.

Sean simply shrugs.

Bill comes to halt. Is that it? Just a shrug? From a man in a long tan cloak? You’ve got to be kidding me.

He takes a deep breath. His therapist prepared him for this. He will not get angry. He will not get frustrated. He is zen.

Bill stops just short of Sean, adjusting his troop leader uniform over his protruding belly. Extending his right hand, “Hello, I’m Bill. And you are?”

“Sean.” Returns the handshake. His Irish accent is jarring.

“So… where are we?” Bill turned to the gate. “What is this gate?”

Again, Sean shrugs. “Don’ know mate.”

Helpful.

“Ok. How did I get here?”

Sean shrugs a third time, his smile widens. “Don’ know mate. Last I was, tendin me sheep. Next, I know, I’m here. Pretty innit?”

Of course, he’s a shepherd, explains the garb. “How long have you been here, Sean?”

A fourth shrug? I swear to God. Bill grits his teeth.

Thankfully, Sean begins to elaborate. Pointing to the right, “Well, I walked thatta way for a bit. Got bored. Came back.”

Bill gazes to the right.

Pointing to the left. “Walked thatta way for a bit. Got bored again. Came back.”

Bill glances to the left.

As he stroked his chin, he pointed forward. “Walked thatta way for a bit…”

Cutting him off, “Okay, okay Sean, I got it. You got bored and walked back. How many times did you do this?”

Sean shrugs for the millionth time. Bloody hell.

Bill sighs. “Well. Have you tried opening the gate?”

Sean's laugh grates at Bill's nerves. This f**king guy.

“O course man, o course! So mate, how did you die?”

Bill does a double take. “What the f**k?! Die? What do you mean? I’m dead?”

Sean reaches out and pats Bill’s shoulder.

“Well, where else’d we be? This is Heaven’s gate, Jack. What were ya doin' before this?”

“Jack? I told you my name is Bill.” he starts. “Wait…”

Bill runs his hands through his black hair, slicking it back. What the hell was he doing?

“I… I think I was camping with my son’s boy scout troop? We were”

Sean cuts him off, “what’s a… a boy scout? Camping?”

Bill is taken aback. How does this guy not know what camping is? He takes in Sean’s appearance. “Ummm. Sean? What year was it when you died?” Bill is surprised by how quickly he’s coming to terms with death. This can’t be real.

“Don’ know mate. Was tendin my sheep on me family’s land. Storm a'came so we shelter in a cave. Fall asleep. Wake up here, walkin to the gate.” Another shrug.

F**k. We are dead. But also, how long has this guy been here? This can’t be real.

Bill gets excited. He’s got this.

“Ok Sean, if that’s really your name. Scout’s honor. You really don’t know where we are?” Bill smirks. He’s got him now.

Sean stares back perplexed. “Uh. Mate. What’s a scout?”

F**k. That was convincing. Are they actually dead?

“Ok. Follow me here. We’ve made it to heaven. That’s good, right? Awesome. Ok. So now we just need to figure out how to get through the gate? It can’t be that hard right?”

Sean nods once in agreement.

Bill rattles the gate. It doesn’t budge.

He's stuck. He is here with a man who's English is barely understandable.

This is his own personal hell.