Green Light

Bright and ever enveloping, a completely consuming light. Green is all i see. The thoughts that then flood in. "Did I do too much?" "Am I dying?" "What does this mean?" Then just as quick as it appeared, the mesmerizing green light disappears and I am once again left to my thoughts. I know i'm not fully aware. The amount of dope I use would have seasoned junkies confused and amazed. Although from outer appearances, I am seemingly a normal college aged woman. I am in fact though, a struggling addict. Track marks on my arms and neck. But my scarf hides my tattered neck and the bruises and wounds almost pass for normally gained bumps and bruises. I appear "normal." My state of mind is what and where the madness centers. This is where you could truly spot my abnormalities. I keep them carefully and logically filed though deep within my phyce and transmit only my brightest façade for the passersby people I find my self commonly engaging. As I last recall I was outside sitting in the grass, covered in blood, dirt and tears. Fully appreciating the moon's beauty. When the green light stole the spotlight. Not only did the green light consume my sense of sight, but with it came a sense of foreboding of ill things to come. I sensed within darkness. A darkness that even I, an addict in the throughs of desperation, could only just slightly sense. Then I vomit. The taste of shame tingles in my chest as the toxin's my body cant process decide to make their way out. I come to the quick conclusion that I must have been hallucinating. I had to get some sleep. I walk back into my house and despite the issues between my lover and I. I lay beside my love and drift into a dark and abysmal sleep. If only I knew things would never be the same after tonight.

Birds chirping and the sunlight pouring through my blinds awaken me. Another sound seemed to echo in my mind, but it seemed too unusual to be real. So I suppressed the noise in my minds eye. And my mind began reeling yet again about the previous night. The series of events seemed so faded and convoluted, I convinced myself I must have dreamed the whole thing. So I go into the bathroom and pour the contents of my cellophane baggie into the spoon, since dope seems to be usually the first thing on my mind. I grab my dull and used trusty needle and mix the dope and water until the contents are completely dissolved. I slowly fill the Syringe to the brink with this cursed concoction that is the bane of my existence. Then the fun part comes. Finding a vein. Years under my belt as an addict have left most of my veins blown. Completely destroyed. This day for whatever reason I didn't have to dig for very long and I got my shot in. I had my medicine. Shortly after the rush dissipated though I noticed something was off. My lover was not in bed. I went from room to room searching, but the house was empty. Even in our worst arguments it just wasn't like him to leave without validating me in some way. "He must be outside." I thought to myself. I walked very quietly to the glass sliding doors that led to the backyard. I pulled back the curtains covering the doors and it was then that the noise that I had been repressing in my mind, behind the chirping of birds, became apparent in origin. There was my love. Only something was very wrong. He was crouched low to the ground, facing away from me. Accompanying the crunching noises and smacking, he was very oddly moaning. I slowly cracked the door and called "Baby!" He stood up quite abruptly and it was when he faced me that my logical world transformed.

Blood dripped from my lovers mouth and it became apparent he was eating, the neighbors dog apparently. Pale as a ghost, his eyes were wrong. They were lifeless and dull. He was probably ten feet away from the door where I was standing, but when he noticed my presence, he seemed to close that distance very fast. I slammed the door and locked it. He quickly reached the door and while I was still watching, began to beat wildly on the door. Smearing and splattering the massive amounts of blood on his face and hands all over the glass. Tears filled my eyes. The walls seemed to be closing in on me. Logic and reason seemed to file one by one out of the reality I had known. I ran to the living room and turned on the news. Every channel screened the same warning. "Unknown viral outbreak!" It was plastered on every news channel. The news prompted me to stay inside and avoid the infected at all cost. The nation was now in a state of emergency and it appeared, quite literally, all hell was breaking loose. My altered mind struggled to find acceptance. "This can't be real." My thoughts ran wild, yet again. In such a panic, I suppose, my blood pressure or some other unknown force came upon me with a quickness. I passed out. There I was yet again in the abysmal dark. For how long was I laying in the living room floor? I guess I'll never know. But I do know when I awoke it was night again. I ran to the back door, hoping I'd only been dreaming. I pulled back the curtains. Blood. Almost completely covering the glass doors. It was real. I searched to no avail for my lovers' walking corpse. The backyard was empty. Then, before I replaced the curtains. The green light returned to the sky and to my view. The light filled the sky and every outside thing became painted in a green hue I'd only ever witnessed the night before. "What does this mean? " I asked myself yet again. But I had no answers. Only a glimpse into a nightmarish world that was soon to become my everyday life experience. And to add on to the already terrible series of events, I notice my hands. Shaking and sweating. Not from fear, no, from something far more sinister. Detox had begun. And something in my gut told me that this was far from the worst I was to experience. That this was in fact, just the beginning. All I knew was gone. The only thing I knew for sure anymore was that this green light had something to do with it all. And I was going to find out what it meant at all cost. But given my circumstance, I went back into the bedroom. I needed to rest and pray that I survived the detox that was coming. What comes after that I'm afraid, will be oh so much worse...