Feeling Human part three

I bring him to his room and place him on the bed, unceremoniously.

“Well.. good night,” I say and walk off.

“G-Good night…” Fry says sadly.

I fear that I’ll hear him cry again, and I do. It makes me stop in my tracks.

“Fry?” I ask, my back still turned.

“Hmm?” I hear the tears in his soft sigh.

“You okay?”

“Uh.. yeah. I’m okay.”

“You… you sure? You need anything?”

I turn around finally and see his pale face is covered in tears.

“I don’t.. I don’t know… I hate this feeling. I want… want to die…” he suddenly sobs and I run over to him, sitting next to him on the bed.

“Fry… please, don’t ever say that,” I feel myself crying, and he sits up and hugs me.

“I’m sorry. I am. I don’t mean that, Bender. Of course I won’t do anything. I just have to realize she doesn’t love me back,” He cries again, but this time it’s softer, and I lift my hands and hug him back. He sighs deeply, “She’ll never love me. I have to accept it.”

Suddenly he is looking at me eye to eye and I feel hot again.

“But, Bender, I think I’ll be lonely for my whole life. I just think I’m meant to be alone.”

I felt myself fill up with a fiery passion and I grabbed his shoulders gently, “Fry, you will never be alone. Ever. I’m here. And, I’ll never leave. I swear. Okay?”

Fry sniffled, seeming to sober up. “I know you won’t leave me. You’re my best friend.”

“And that’s facts, bud,” I say as I move away from our embrace and Fry looks disappointed for a moment, but then smiles.

“Thanks for cheering me up, really, Bender. I appreciate it.”

I nod, but then lean in close. Fry’s cheeks go red as I touch his face, caressing his cheek.

“Wanna know a secret?” I whisper.

He nods, his eyes wide, and mouth slightly agape.

“You know how I say I wanna kill all humans?” I ask, and he nods.

“That’s your favorite thing to say. Other than the word ass,” Fry says with a grin.

“Well, usually, after I have said it before we met, that’s it. I have nothing to add,” I sigh, “But now I add something to it. I say softly to myself, except one,” I whisper and Fry seems to be moving closer to me. “You know who that one human I’m referring to is?”

Fry shakes his head. “I don’t know. Amy?”

I slap my face with my hand. “No! You doltish fool!” I growl. “It’s.. its… you! You are the one I wouldn’t kill!”

Fry nods slowly, and then has a huge grin, “Really? It’s me?!”

“Oh, you’re infuriating,” I say under my breath.

Fry is smiling with this dreamy look and I pat his head, messing his dumb, orange locks up a bit.

“Night, meatwad,” I get up and Fry is still smiling as I leave. No more tears.

“Good night, Bender!”

Mission accomplished.

*****

I can’t sleep. I can’t think. I stay up all night thinking of Fry.

Why did I tell him about my secret of not wanting to kill him? Why’d I touch his cheek? Why did I stay to calm him down? I suddenly started daydreaming of being human, too, and feeling my skin against his skin. How would that feel?

Smooth, silky… perfect?

It lasts all night, this feeling that was sinking into my core processor, and I felt this nagging hunger in my very soul—taunting me.

In the morning, I’m groggy and drink five beers, but I can’t find any energy to do anything. I finally see Fry wake up and he looks exhausted too.

“Mornin’…” Fry says as he yawns and stretches, making coffee in the kitchen.

“Yeah, it’s a morning all right…” I say, and Fry laughs.

“You sound tired. I think I got a hangover, or something,” He says as he pours himself a cup of fresh, hot coffee, adding cream and sugar.

“Ya want me to cook you something?” I offer.

Fry shakes his head. “No thanks, I feel too sick to think of food. Just coffee, I think, is what I need now.”

“I learned finally how to not to add a lethal amount of salt to a dish. Please, Fry? I swear it’ll be good. And it won’t kill you. Probably.” I get up from the kitchen table and he chuckles, though it’s nervous sounding.

“I’ll… uh, take you up on that maybe later. I think for now.. let’s call off, huh? And we can have an All My Circuits marathon today. What do you say?” Fry says, drinking his coffee with relish.

“Oh boy! Really? Sounds good.” I frown suddenly. “Let me call the Professor, huh? I’ll call us both off. It’ll be faster. That way, you can start the show. I’ll be… right back!” I run to the other room and call him up.

“Okay!! Hurry!” I hear Fry yell.

I decide to ask the Professor straight away the burning question in my mind first, and then call Leela to call us off work.

I start the call to the Professor and he answers.

“Oh, I thought you might be Fry. I was going to ask him about those decals he placed on my ship?”

I shrug. “You mean those flame decals?”

The Professor sighs and nods, “Yes. Those. They are stuck on the sides. I can’t get them off! Even with my finger nails, and even tools prove useless. I end up almost scratching my ship!” He says with a frustrated voice.

“He thinks it’ll make your ship go faster on long deliveries,” I answer and he sighs in a exasperated way.

“Oh, pickle fodder! Definitely not. That so and so uncle of mine seems from a different planet. And not Mars, either.”

I frown. “Professor, enough with the niceties..” I say and he grumbles something that sounds like a string of curse words. “I need you to help me with something.”

“Oh? What would that be?” He adjusted his glasses, seeming to peer into my eyes with a strong perceptive gaze.

“Can you turn me human? Like in that What If machine?”

“Why do you want to be human, Bender? Honestly. It’s a flabby, sticky mess to be one. You have a highly effective and efficient application to living, no need to complicate things-”

“Just tell me if it’s possible!” I yell, then I say softer, “I want to see how it feels to be human.”

“You do have the capability of feelings now. You do understand that, don’t you?” He says and I sigh angrily.

“Don’t patronize me!” I yell.

“Okay, you big, upset baby!” He says with a curious expression. “We can try the reverse fossilization process for you, if you really want to.”

“Yes.”

The Professor leans in closer to the video call and says, “Think of this. Really think about it. Give yourself a few weeks. Maybe months. Make sure you want to really do this. It’ll be an irreversible decision. Do you actually understand?”

I feel the heavy cloud burst over my very wiring, and I sink into the possibility of never being a robot again.

Is this what I really want?

“Why did you start thinking of doing this? What’s the reason?” He asked me again.

“To feel free. Human. To feel human, and be free.”

“You have a real sense of freedom, Bender. And free will. Remember we discussed this.”

I growled, “I don’t care, I want to be able to hold someone with a fleshy body. And really feel it. Feel them.”

He smiled this wry, creepy smile and said, “Hmm. Okay. You want to feel intimate in a physical way. Is this right?”

“Yes. Don’t tell anyone. I mean it.”

The Professor nodded. “Mums the word.”

“Also; Fry and I aren’t going in today. He’s sick. I’m sick. We’re going to stay in.”

“Well.. alright. Be back in the office tomorrow and we can begin the process to make you human.”

“I thought you said that I should think about it!”

“Well… you gave me a good reason to expedite this request. Love. Right?” The Professor said sappily.

“Love? What the hell? I didn’t say love.”

“Okay. Then wait a few months, then, goodbye..”

“No! Wait. I.. it is love,” I answered quietly and he nodded in turn. It was weird because as I said it, I realized it wasn’t just blantant manipulative tactics to get my way.

It was love.

Love for him.

Love for Fry.