Feeling Human part thirteen

We go back together, holding hands, and I’m thinking it’s a good sign.

One thing about what is about to potentially happen is, no matter what, I did something I never thought I could do.

Make a good decision for me.

And that was hard.

“Fry, please just tell me, are you going to ask me out… again? Who is supposed to get those.. flowers?” Leela asks me with her beautiful eye staring at me, and I feel so weirdly happy. Then, I look at the flowers, and I know something is off.

This was my dream.

To have Leela suddenly, finally show some interest in me.

But, I think of everything and of how Leela has always made me feel like I was somehow not good enough to be with her—-all those times I felt inadequate to some other guy—-and how even if I’m with her…

It’ll be amazing at first, yes.

But—-what about when she starts seeing me for who I am? The immature, lazy, weird, nerdy guy that I am?

What then?

So I tell her the truth.

“Leela, I’ve loved you for so long,” I start, and she brightens with a small smile. “I have literally lost sleep over you. Cried over you. Dreamed of you, even. You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and the smartest and most sweetest girl I have known. And Leela, you always will be..” my tone shifts to a serious note and she looks solemn now. “But, if I think of us, really think of it, I don’t think we fit right. I wanted us to. I desperately wanted us to fit…” I start to tear up and she frowns in a pained way. “And I think that we shouldn’t date, after all. But, I will always love you, as my friend…”

Leela laughs in a stressed out, sad way.

“Fry…. then, if you really think we don’t fit, who did you buy those flowers for?”

“Uh… someone else…” I say in a soft voice.

“You mean… Bender?” She chokes out a sob. “Fry… I realized something.. and-”

“Oomph!” I suddenly felt something or someone run into me and it jabbed my side.

I could see Leela staring at whoever or whatever it was in a familiar way, and she quickly wipes her eye and breaths in fast.

I look over as I get my bearings straight.

And, I see it’s Bender.

We finally get to our apartment and he looks at me directly.

“Did Leela try to get with you, Fry?”

I sighed and said, “Bender… let’s discuss this inside.”

“I gotta know something first.. did you ask her out again?”

My eyes go wide, not expecting such a question.

“Umm… Bender, well, you see…”

“I knew it! You got those flowers for her? Really? And you asked her out… again?” Bender’s big brown eyes narrow, and he scoffs. “Fry.. I can’t. I can’t do this. I’m done!” He gives me a dirty look and walks off.

My brain seems to short circuit for a moment and I wake up.

“Bender!! Wait! Don’t go… it’s not what you think!” I run over to him.

“What do you mean, it’s not what I think?” He sputters out angrily.

“Bender… are you serious?” I place my hand in my shoulder to catch my breath. “Calm down! Like… gimme a second…” he looks at me with a impatient look and I frown.

“Well?” He taps his foot quickly against a grate on the ground.

“I think you got this all wrong.. like, have you seen me even try to talk about Leela with you, at all?” I ask. “I’ve been so happy to be with you. It’s been so great. You know?”

Bender nods but then looks at me with an unconvinced stare. “Fry, if it’s not what I think…then tell me what’s going on…”

I pause for a minute, feeling like I lost my voice, and he is staring at me, with those big, gorgeous brown eyes…