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Ethical Necromancy From an Expert

by Daniel Goldman 9 days ago in Fantasy

So you want to become a necromancer, eh?

Ethical Necromancy From an Expert
Photo by Daniel Jensen on Unsplash

So you're interested in getting into necromancy. Maybe your friend mentioned it to you at the café. Or perhaps you just saw something about it online. You might think that necromancy is all about raising armies of undead to overthrow the world, but honestly that hobby is rather passé. Really, humans are annoying enough when they're alive. A bunch of undead ones are just dull. If you really want to have some fun with necromancy, and want to be a little more ethical about it, I have a few suggestions.

First, a bit about myself. I've been a necromancer for a little over 300 years. Back then, there weren't too many guides on the topic, and most people were self taught. Fellow necromancers didn't really like to talk to each other all that much, and well, the general population didn't treat necromancy with all that much respect.

Over the years, I developed multiple instruction manuals and have become well known within the community as a go-to source of information for all things undead. I have a number of self-help books published, and you're more than welcome to pick up a copy of Necromancy by the Numbers. For now, here are a couple of quick tips.

Tips

Don't kill in order to get more bodies. That's rule #1. There's more than enough dead already. We don't need anymore. The market becomes oversaturated, and it just brings the whole undead economy down. Yes, I know that there are often government subsidies available, but we really shouldn't be relying on them. 

Make sure to treat your undead well. Unlike the living, the undead can't really do a good job of taking care of themselves. They can't take care of themselves. They can't even really think for themselves. Okay, so maybe they're not all that much different from the average living person. But we made these undead, so they're our responsibility. They're basically our pets.

Speaking of pets. It's okay to raise your pet from the grave. But again, doing so means taking on a lot of responsibility. It might seem like a good idea when you first start out, but you're responsible for even more of their needs while they're undead than when they were still alive. Additionally, one might assume that a pet keeps all their same habits and personality they had while alive. While that might hold for high level necromancy, beginners are likely to have varying degrees of success.

Housing is important. When raising a larger army of undead, you're going to want to ensure that you have sufficient room available. The amount of land needed for your undead is of course going to vary with the type of undead you have. The greater the variety of undead, the more land you'll need as well. You don't want to house your undead chickens with your undead cats. The latter are likely to chase the former, and it'll be a real mess.

You'll probably want to check with a real estate agent to see if there's a nice swamp land. It costs extra, but finding a place with an eerie green light helps a lot. While the living require sunlight for vitamin D, your undead hoard will need lots of creepy green light for them to thrive. The atmosphere also helps keep away pesky neighbors. 

One might think that a cemetery is a good place to house your undead, but it's not. People actually visit cemeteries rather frequently. This can disturb your undead. You also end up with a mix of dead and undead, and your undead can get a little confused. So it's best to keep them away from cemeteries. 

I think that more or less covers the basics. Again, you can check out Necromancy by the Numbers if you want a more detailed information. For those who aren't sure yet, I think I can summarize ethical necromancy in a way that will help fledglings, even if you forget the rules above. Basically, just treat your undead with respect.

Fantasy
Daniel Goldman
Daniel Goldman
Read next: Pluto Is Back Again!!!
Daniel Goldman

Visit my homepage. I am a polymath and a rōnin scholar with interests in many areas, including political science, economics, history, and philosophy. I've been writing about all of these topics, and others, for the past two decades.

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