Don't pretend to be a bully, pretend to be struck by lightning

Look at Li mm heartbroken appearance, as if to the whole world of men are broken heart.

It is no wonder that none of them, who were friends with her at the beginning, were not officials and aristocrats, but they would rather quarrel with each other and none of them ever thought of getting Li Shi Shi out of the dust completely, including the later Huizong and the famous poet Zhou Bangyan. Once, Xiao Zhou rushed to go to piao, but Huizong blocked her at the door, so she had no choice but to hide under the bed to listen to her boss and Li mm make out. He was so jealous that he wrote a yellow text message satirical to Huizong that he was banished from the capital. Later, Huizong felt very embarrassed and brought him back and gave him a modest official position (excerpted from the 13th chapter of "The History of the Millennium Drama" : The Most Romantic Night, edited by Zhang Xiaohua). The winking between the two men was enough to show that Master Li was nothing more than a lady in their eyes.

I feel it is necessary for me to instil the right kind of erotic love in Li mm... Well, love, to restore her faith in true love, I used a phrase my mother used when she saw me: "Find someone suitable, you're old enough..."

When we talk very ha fart at dinner, Li Shi Shi all say nice, just asked the fat man how he had thought of the unification of weights and measures and the hardships of building the Great Wall, burning books and burying scholars and Qin Shi Huang's mother (Qin Shi Huang's mother is more romantic) did not mention at all, she asked Jing Ke some details about sword dancing, Jing Ke like the narcissist in the Wuxia novel very ox B said: "I can kill, not sword." Brag B.

At this time to see people when the emperor and hero is not the same to come, these two people obviously did not realize that Li Shi Shi is deliberately please, very concerned about the problem itself, did not notice Li mm choppy. The maid who swept the toilet in Qin Shi Huang's home was selected from the six States. Jing Ke also received a very high standard of reception in Taizi Dan (so high that I can not imagine, I estimate that those who washed mulberry hand towel board are virgins). The defense force of these two people against the beauty is at least +800.

And me, poor me, dealing with steamed buns every day, no writer with more than five VIP titles in the starting point is allowed to attempt to describe my girlfriend's face.

Let's just say my defense against the average ugly woman is -100, against the average woman -500, and against a beautiful woman like Li Shishi minus two loops (infinity). I was with Li mm to eat more than two bowls of rice, only win fat man eat half a jin.

At nearly 10 p.m., I arranged to go to bed and told Li, "Sleep alone, and your sister-in-law (I wish I could change this into the first person) will accompany you later." Then he said to Fat Man Ying and Jing Ersha, "Would you like to sleep together or would anyone like to sleep with me?" Qin Shihuang said: "hungry sleep with you, this hanging skin (silly B) old sleep snoring pinch." I nodded and said, "So be it. I'll pick up the steamed stuffed bun from work, you go back to your rooms."

Li Shi Shi took me aside and asked me in a low voice whether I should lock the door when I sleep. I told her: As long as I am not here, there is no need to...

In fact, some readers have discovered that 5 people sleep in 3 rooms, using the method of arrangement and combination can get... Anyway, there are a lot of results (my math college entrance examination 26 points), and one of them is suitable for us, that is, I and the steamed stuffed bun, Li Shi Shi single room, two silly fat man a room, ignore the fat man's opinion, the biggest advantage of this method is that I can sneak to the other room in the middle of the night, the biggest disadvantage is that the steamed stuffed bun must know that I have this idea, so it is unrealistic.

I went to pick up the steamed stuffed bun, is to explain to her Li Shi Shi thing, I thought of a plan to pass the ancient and modern: say Li Shi Shi - Wang Yuan Nan is my cousin, is a fashion model, to us here just to borrow, and will pay the rent, steamed stuffed bun is not rich, but put me and another woman on the interest relationship, can let her not crazy.

Steamed stuffed bun a listen with me anxious: "How can you ask people for money?"

At this moment, I even moved, I hugged her Yingying a grasp of the waist, walking in the endless night, a few unknown situation of the ruffian whistled at us, such as we appear in the street lamp, they scattered, it is difficult to see my hand brick or because see the steamed stuffed bun face.

That night, my girlfriend slept next to a young lady, a killer was next door to me, and Qin Shihuang was lying on my camp bed. I made my bunk far away from him -- I was afraid he would fall down on me.

My nerves have become very strong, almost to the point of peripheral necrosis, so that the next day when I saw Liu Lao Liu are too lazy to ignore him, I breathe feebly said: "and who brought?" Lao Liu waved behind me, my glass door was immediately blocked black, a lower than Yao Ming limited giant, wrapped in a raincoat, the wide raincoat by his muscles hold tight, creaking. He came in and pulled his raincoat at random to reveal the thin armour underneath. He appeared to be a senior general. His thick eyebrows pointed to the sky like watermelon knives. He was a fierce man, but he was lonely.

I casually pointed to the opposite sofa, and said: "Sit down brother, which dynasty?" Now I don't want to bite because I have too many lice. The First Emperor of Qin is my brother who sleeps in my upper bunk. How can I be fooled so easily?

The man thud down in the sofa, holding his head in his arms and not saying anything, looking very depressed. Liu Laolu pointed to him with a smile and said, "Xiang Yu, the overlord of Chu." I quickly stood up: "Ah, plume brother, disrespect." Although Xiang Yu was defeated in the end, he was recognized as a hero through the ages and the first overlord in history. I didn't have the courage to challenge him. It seemed that he could throw me into Iraq with his left hand alone, of course, on the premise that he was not left-handed.

But Xiang Yu didn't even bother me. To ease his embarrassment, Liu said, "There's another one outside the door." He beckoned again, and a yellow-faced man strolled in solemnly, glanced at me, nodded slightly, and then, with a flick of his robe, sat down on the table -- a very high place. I told him, "You sit there. It's comfortable." I pointed to the sofa.

Yellow face cross me a glance, ox B said: "I am the 95 respect, how can be condescended to live under people?"

This man is too bad, I patiently told him: "This is not a place to sit people." Yellow face cough, like a way: "I am not a person, once upon a time, my mother saw a dragon on the side, is pregnant, I have, I cut the white snake uprising..."

I pulled him down and pointed at Liu and said, "You son of a bitch, what do you mean by bringing Xiang Yu and Liu Bang together?"

Liu smoked a cigarette at six o 'clock and said with a smile: "It's OK, the two have stopped making trouble."

Glancing at Xiang Yu, the giant, I pointed to Liu Bang and said, "This man -- you can beat him, but don't kill him. We have rules here." Xiang Yu covered his head and said despairingly, "Don't worry, I won't beat him."

Liu Bang did not do, he opened my hand pointing to him, cried: "Bold slave, you dare to do so to me!" As I pulled him up by the collar, I said sternly: "Don't pretend to be a brute, for a brute will be struck by lightning!" I told him, "The First emperor of Qin is on your head. With his appetite, he could eat you without doing anything."