Do not be a "bad judge" in the marriage

　Over the years, my husband and I have lived in each other's bad reviews. Originally a good day, we lived into the criticism of the meeting. Then I realized: that the most taboo thing in marriage is to give each other bad reviews. When we praise each other, our mood will also become better. When a smile blooms on my face, I feel prettier too -

　　During the holidays, my husband's company sent two buckets of oil, and I decided to give one bucket to my parents and keep the other for myself.

　　A few days later, my husband noticed that a bucket of oil was missing and asked me what happened. I said it was given to my parents. My husband's face changed dramatically. "It's not the holidays, so we don't have to spend money on other things. Besides, we still have a lot of oil to eat!" I hurried to explain. "You're a good person to lend flowers to the Buddha." My husband said contemptuously. "I represent our family, and also for you to honor my parents, you do not like?" My husband said, "Don't give away my things in the future." Hearing this, I was furious.

　　Over the years, my husband feels that he has given more to the family than I have, so he always speaks in a commanding manner, and he is selfish in his treatment of both parents, always thinking of his parents. The first time I saw him, he reminded me to buy something for my in-laws, but as for my parents, he kept his mouth shut. "You just remember your parents, but what about my parents? Shouldn't you send something for the holidays? They say that a son-in-law is half a child, but I think this is a big mistake when applied to you!" These words have been bottled up in my heart for a long time, and today I finally let them out.

　　Usually, my husband rarely visits my parents at home. Because my mother-in-law did not help me with the children when they were young, I have little good feeling about my mother-in-law. So, I think my husband is not filial enough to my parents, and my husband thinks I don't have enough respect for my in-laws. All this time, we have been complaining that each other is not good enough for our parents.

　　One day, my husband came home from a relative's wedding and laid down directly on the couch, not saying a word. I asked him what was wrong, he said sourly: "It's impossible to compare, the bride's parents accompanied 200,000 dowries!" When I heard that, I immediately understood what my husband meant. He thought that when he married me, my mother's family didn't give me an expensive dowry.

　　However, my husband reminded me of this. When I thought of the dowry my husband's family gave, I was angry: "You think your family can be better? Our family simply raised a daughter for nothing and sent her to your family. Now the bride price has risen to 180,000. Why don't you compare the bride price you gave me at the beginning with the bride price now?" After hearing my words, my husband didn't say anything. My husband and I often expose each other's shortcomings like this. After each fight, we were exhausted.

　　Over the years, my husband and I have lived with each other's bad comments. It was a good day, we lived into a criticism session. After the criticism, we both hang our heads in frustration. These complaints have done nothing but hurt each other. Neither of us wanted to live like this anymore, but we didn't know what the problem was because we both felt we were right and the other was wrong.

　　One day, I read an article on the Internet. The article said: "Blaming and complaining with each other is a negative psychological implication for both parties, which will create self-doubt and self-depreciation in each other, and will put the marriage in a bad state. The most taboo thing in marriage is to be each other's 'bad judge'." This is like enlightenment: my husband and I have been each other's "bad judge", so we have lived our lives in a downward spiral.

　　Husbands and wives are supposed to be fans of each other and make each other in mutual appreciation. I seem to understand, as a wife, what I should do.

　　One day, I had dinner with some of my husband's friends, and in front of everyone, I praised my husband for being nice and kind-hearted. On the way home, my husband was in a very good mood. When we got home, he took the initiative to hug me and said, "Honey, your performance today made me very proud and at the same time made me feel very ashamed." "Don't worry, what happened before is all in the past. Let's live a good life from now on, and as long as you honor my parents, I will treat your parents well." This sounds a bit absurd, but when you think about it, it's right, everything is mutual!

　　Later, when I talked to my colleagues about my husband, I always picked the good things to say and found myself in a better mood.

　　One year during the Spring Festival, I bought my mother-in-law a flowered cotton jacket, which she particularly liked. But I didn't tell my husband about it. When we went to the supermarket to buy Chinese New Year goods, my husband took the initiative to buy my parents a bag of noodles and a bucket of oil. I joked with my husband, "Why are you being generous? Is there another plan?" My husband laughed and said, "Look at you, what are my plans? You're not happy to buy something for your parents?" "Of course I'm happy, I'm surprised you're so proactive." "Didn't you buy the cotton jacket for my mom?" "Yes." "That's great."

　　When we take the initiative to honor each other's parents, what we reap must also be a surprise. We stop blaming each other, stop giving each other bad reviews, and our moods change for the better. When a smile blooms on my face, I feel I become beautiful too ......