Destination Weddings Can Be Big Trouble

Why am I attending a destination wedding alone? Someone at work said, "Oh Mary, just go! You need a break! Work has been awful! It will do you good to get away!" I thought about how I have never been to a wedding alone before, let alone so far from home.

She was right though and I could do this. I have always been pretty independent. It wouldn't have to be a husband to drag along to the wedding, and it would have meant dragging Fred along. He wouldn't want to go, even if it was his niece's wedding!

I do miss Fred and would give anything to have him back to attend this wedding with me. He was a softy and I know I could have talked him into going along.

My friends are encouraging me to get out there and start to see someone. I tell them that I have no prospects. They say, "You are still a young woman. You don't have to spend the rest of your life alone."

Sally at work said, "I know a woman who attended a wedding by herself and came back engaged." Then she said, "Well, it wasn't quite that fast, but I bet it didn't take any longer than six months before they were married."

I don't think I am ready for that. I still miss Fred too much to think of another man in my life. I just recently took off my wedding ring. I have to admit, men seem to notice things like that.

I have been hit on a couple of times at the grocery store. I usually don't realize it though until I'm out of the store. I hate the thought of dating. I was twenty-one the last time I dated.

In convincing myself to go, my self-talk went something like this, Mary, just get on the plane. You can do this! Relax and enjoy yourself. If something happens, you will deal with it at that time.

I was able to stop thinking about everything and soon I was on the island and meeting a small group of family that were able to attend the wedding for dinner.

I was introduced to several friends of the family that came to the wedding also. It appeared that there were just two of us that were there single. The other single reminded me of my son. I thought he was probably close to my son's age.

From a distance, Jim appeared quirky and a bit awkward. He was a bit shy when he approached me. I could relate to some of the awkwardness as I felt out of place and alone here on the island more than ever as everyone else appeared to be mated.

Then I had the thought, does anyone ever go to a tropical island alone without a significant other or girlfriends? Probably not. I thought that I probably appear quirky too from a distance. As we sat down to dinner, Jim sat next to me.

Our conversation started slowly. I did think he was younger than he is. He is just a few years younger than me. Then I thought, does that make me a cougar? What an odd thought. Am I thinking of his sitting next to me at dinner as a date?

I started to laugh and I had to explain so I talked about how my husband has been deceased now for a few years and he was ten years older than I and most men closer to my age remind me of my son. He is 23. Then we both laughed.

Jim then surprised me by saying that he would like to think of this dinner as a first date.

Our conversation went smoothly after that. I found Jim easy to talk to. He had never been married and one of my thoughts had been that maybe he was a gay male. But then he talked about how his fiancee had died unexpectedly and he had made his career his life and hadn't dated much.

The next couple of days were spent together and he would call them dates. He was always a gentleman and so very respectful. The island was beautiful and we had so much fun wherever we went on the island. It was so much more fun than hanging with family or worse yet, alone.

The evening before we were to fly out, Jim and I went on a picnic, and he said that he didn't want our time in this improbable paradise to end. He asked if he could continue to see me when we got back to our real life.

Then he said that he would ask me to marry him, but he thought it may just be the intoxication of paradise for both of us. And if we get back to the states, we may wonder what we saw in each other. Then he said, "I don't think that is the case as I don't want to think about ever leaving you!"

The next morning before our departure, we went for a walk and he kissed me and I thought it may have been the best kiss I ever had. It was very difficult to leave this man. But I agreed. It may all be just the magic of the paradise island.

As I am flying back home alone, I think to myself how grateful I am that I went to that tropical island alone! And how much I am looking forward to seeing more of Jim. Thankfully we live in the same area of the state and are only a hundred miles apart or so.

I thought I would put my phone on airplane mode and text him. Before I could hit send, I received a message from Jim saying, "I think I am falling in love with you! I know I should wait and say this to you in person, but please know that I don't think it was just the island!"

Even though I was flying home alone, I was taking Jim with me in my mind and heart!