Despair

How long have we been down here? The flashlight illuminated through debris and fine mist to reveal an infinite underground railroad tunnel. Graffiti covered parts of the wall and hot pink harried strokes proclaimed “ALL IS LOST” while a sunny shade of orange encouraged “Welcome to Hell.”

Mira had lost track of the days and the months since the crash. If she closed her eyes, she could still feel like she was holding Peter’s hand, caressing the callus on his thumb which he got from years of playing that flowered guitar, while curling his lip and pretending to be a 50’s rock legend. He steered the rusty pickup with one hand and kissed the back of the small hand that held his. Quicker than a strum and a shake of the hips, the crash jerked her hand from his and she collided with the unforgiving glass. Lightning seemed to strike as a telephone pole came flying and pierced through Shelly Jo’s Diner. Darkness came in roves and growled and shrieked through the night. Then the screams and wails came.

She touched the rifle on her hip strap and then the jagged crack on her silver heart shaped locket. She would do anything for those times again, before everyone knew about the sickness. The rotten decay and the stench becoming a part of them, as they hid in unfinished manholes and in cupboards of forgotten suburban model homes. Now they were explorers in the belly of the beast.

Mira startled as the squeak of Steph’s sneakers slid on the rock in front of her. Henry grabbed Steph’s shoulders and put his finger to his mustached lip. Mira had met the others back at the camp a week ago. She was unsure if she could completely trust them, but after eating nothing for three days but creek water, stale crackers and a bit of peanut butter she found in an old warehouse office, she welcomed more help from those who were more resourceful (and knew how to gut a fish). Besides, Mira could not afford to lose hope. No one could now.

Mira had seen smoke in the distance and then discovered a Country Korner Market in flames. She witnessed Ben, Henry, and Steph walking away with bags of food. They claimed that the sickness had taken what was left of the store, and that they had burned the rest. They also claimed to have found an exit out of the city. Mira wondered if this was really an exit out of the city or an entrance to something much worse.

In the tunnel, Henry slowly opened a rusty gate with a broken padlock, that seemed to lead to another section where a a strobing blue spotlight pulsed across their vision and low moans echoed. Ben fiercely grabbed Henry’s arm and whispered “this must be the wrong way!” The man replied, “let’s just see where this leads,” softly squeezing his partner’s hand in remembrance of gentler times, and then longingly looked at the darkness of the way they came in. “No turning back now,” he said softly.

Steph shook her head and scoffed as her two fathers talked. Two red curls tumbled out from under her baseball cap and she pressed her wrist into the corner of her blue eye, shoving the curls away. Mira slowly joined her by her side. “Are you doing okay?” she asked gently. “It seems so bleak,” Steph said and sighed between her crooked smile. “Knowing that just a single thought could kill us...just...despair. And it happens to be the worst time in the world.” Mira undid the hip strap and leaned the rifle against the wall. She sat down and placed her knuckles on the rock underneath her. Looking up, she could see a crack in the ceiling of the tunnel, where a small slit of the sky was revealed. The stars were still there, no matter how the world changed and who was lost. She cleared her throat and said, “We can’t afford to lose hope. Each of us has it inside us, in some form, and it’s what keeps us going. We have to wait for that light at the end of the tunnel.” Steph chuckled again, and then burst out laughing.

Steph’s laugh seemed to vibrate and grab Mira’s chest with it’s throaty braying. Panic rose in Mira’s eyes. The darkness enveloped and swirled around the group. “Hold her!” Henry shouted.

Mira started to grab the arms of the young teen girl but suddenly and surprisingly, the group grabbed Mira and pushed her to the floor. “The girl’s gone mad!!” Mira heard herself scream. Suddenly, she realized it wasn’t her screaming. It was Henry. “Fight for yourself! Don’t let the despair in!” the man gasped, towards her. Mira’s jaw suddenly dropped and her eyes turned crimson. She wheezed and held open her arms towards the sky. The black walls suddenly had eyes and reached back out towards her, as they shrieked in unison. Mira touched her broken heart shaped locket once more and her body convulsed and then shriveled into dust, back into darkness.

Steph sobbed as Mira evaporated in front of her eyes. The two men gathered the young girl and pushed on, past the gate. They walked in silence for an hour, clinging onto their bags, their child, and the last of their hope towards starting a new world. Rocks ahead blocked their pathway and the group collected and heaved them out of the way, revealing an old wooden door. Steph grabbed the doorknob frantically and it stuttered against the rock and then suddenly and fluidly swung open. A light pierced through the darkness.