Death by Chocolate

… “A kiss for a kiss?” Little did I know these would be the last words I’d ever utter to you; the last words to ever leave my lips at all. At least I got to know you, have you; at least I got one final goodbye. Until eternity, Dani.

Knowing Danielle is to be immersed in the purest light, well that’s what I think. I’ve known her for two years, and I belong to her fully and completely. I mean, she told me as much when she approached me one spring afternoon in Union Square Park. I was reading on a bench when I heard a voice above me say, “Kiss for a kiss?”.

“What?” I stuttered as I stared at the raven-haired beauty before me.

“A kiss for a kiss?” she repeated slowly. “It’s customary, don’t you know?” She pulls out a bag of Hershey’s chocolate kisses, and offers them to me.

I look at the bag and close my book saving my place with my finger, I glance up at her, “I don’t think I should be taking candy from you, stranger danger and all – don’t you know?” A smile slowly creeps up on her face, Cheshire like, and while part of me is wary, there’s a small part of me that wants to see this strange girl offering me chocolate smile forever.

“I like you bench book dude, get up we’re friends now. But, you still have to answer the question.” I looked at her, she looked at me, I look at her and she tilts her head at me.

Defeated, I hold her stare while I slowly reach in the bag and grab a Hershey’s kiss; she doesn’t even flinch. “What now?” I ask, kiss in hand.

“Now, you kiss me.” She says deadpan as if it’s a matter of a fact. I am shocked to see how serious she is, the slight glint in her eye gives it away, there is no apprehension whatsoever. So, while I’d like to take full advantage of this situation and explore that area of her face, I have standards and kissing strange, albeit beautiful girls, isn’t on that list. I opt to do what my baby sister does, I blow her a kiss instead.

A look of confusion scrunches up her forehead before she erupts in laughter. “That was priceless! I think that may have been the most creative answer to that question I’ve ever gotten.” Now it’s my turn to be confused, “Okay, so what custom did I just partake in?” I ask as I unwrap the chocolate.

“None, I just thought you were adorable and wanted to come over and talk to you.” She replies, face still flush with her laughter’s aftermath.

I don’t know where this is going but the need to know this girl has intensified, “Who even are you?” I wonder out loud just before popping the kiss in my mouth.

“Danielle, but my friends call me Dani and we’re friends now, so get up let’s go!” She grabs my arm and tries to pull me off the bench, I consider making her work for it but I am so entranced by this person – Dani, and that need to know more that I get up, place my book in my jacket pocket and allow her to take me away.

“Okay wait, now you ask me.” She says suddenly.

“I ask you what?” She shoves the bag of Hershey’s kisses into my hand giving me a hint. “Oh, okay then. Um, kiss for a kiss?” and I offer her the bag.

She drops her hand in and picks up two kisses, she looks up at me through thick eyelashes, shifting from foot to foot, she says, “I guess this means I get two kisses.” Next thing I know her mouth is on mine; warm lips meet my unbalanced ones not once but twice. Just before she touches her lips to mine for a second time, she whispers gently against my lips, “You are mine book bench boy.” And she kisses me again.

This time it’s my turn to whisper breathlessly against her lips, “My name is Gael.”

And that is how I met Danielle, the light of my life. If I had known our lives would be reduced to this moment, only two short years after that fateful day. For that first taste of her, I’d have lived out the same life over and over again; but the first taste is nothing compared to the last.

It was supposed to be our first wedding anniversary, we were having a party, the guests would be showing up any minute. But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. We arranged for a winter wonderland made of chocolate, Dani always did have a knack for fairy tales, and I would give anything to see her smile, even my life; especially my life. So, when she asked me, how could I say no? She had been different lately, less the girl I met in Union Square and more of something else. Something I’d only caught glimpses of but kept chalking up to stress. It was nothing, I thought at the time. I was wrong, but I don’t regret it, because I still have her, even if no one else does.

“You love me, right Gael?” she’d ask me out of the blue.

It had never been a question, always a fact, “Of course, kiss for a kiss?” I offered her one out of the candy dish on the coffee table in front of us.

She looked down, and just stared at the kiss in my hand, plucking it gently from my palm with her thumb and forefinger, holding it by the tassel. “If you could love me forever, would you? For all of eternity I mean?” She asks twirling the kiss gently, watching the tassel slide out stained with chocolate, she catches it before it falls in her right palm, and slowly peels it open to reveal the chocolate within.

“Always.” And I meant it.

Dani looked at me and in that moment, I should have seen it coming; should have heeded the desperation in her eyes when she covered my lips with hers, chocolate still melting on her tongue. A part of me is glad I didn’t. All of me is glad that she doesn’t have to do this alone, that she chose me to come with her.

A few weeks after that we began planning the party for our anniversary. She woke up one day and start going on about baking a cake. Not just any cake but the perfect one, chocolate in the shape of our trademark, a Hershey’s kiss. She was so excited and adamant about it, how could I refuse, knowing what I know now, I wonder if I would have.

We rented out the rooftop at the Gansevoort Hotel, and she baked a cake. It was special so she wouldn’t let me help her, wouldn’t let me in or around her at all. “You’ll love it! But you can’t see, smell or taste it just yet. It’s special, it’ll be with us forever, a part of this world to take with us.” She tells me cryptically a few hours before we were set to check in. She picks up a bouquet of white flowers wrapped in plastic and places them on the counter next to a mortar and pestle, I wonder if they’re edible.

“Go to the hotel, I’ll meet you there when I’m ready, the cake has to be perfect and I can’t do anything with you standing here!” she says impatiently.

“Okay, okay I’m going.” I say, but first… “Kiss for a kiss?” I ask reaching for one of the Hershey’s kisses in the glass dish on the counter, “No!” she slaps my hand away before I can touch any and moves the dish to the other side of the tabletop. She sounds a little panicky, and I worry that the stress may be getting to her. Her moods have been changing so suddenly, I don’t always know how to help her. “I mean, no,” she relaxes a bit, the tension leaving her face, “This one’s on the house.” She smiles softly as she pecks me on the corner of my mouth, nudging me towards the door.

“Alright, I’ll see you and that cake in a few hours.” I say as I look back one last time as I walk out the front door closing it behind me. That chocolate cake would be the death of me, if it meant making Danielle happy.

Walking into the rooftop bar everything was spectacular. The white bar had a chocolate fountain as its centerpiece, surrounded by plates of dark chocolate covered strawberries and a medley of Hershey’s kisses; a chocolate wonderland for the girl who stole my heart with a kiss. I turn and walk towards the deck, and that’s when I see Dani, dressed in white, black hair blowing out in the wind, and two slices of powder dusted chocolate cake before her, sitting at one of the tables gazing at the sunset touching the sky; what a vision. She turns to look at me and there is a glint of something I don’t recognize in her eye. I walk closer to her as she puts out her hand to reach for mine. The smile I know and love begins to blossom on her face, that Cheshire grin that means she’s up to something; and as long as she’s there, I’m up for anything.

“Come, sit.” She says as she pushes the cake closer to me. The cake is beautiful, chocolate glaze adorned with kisses in place of chocolate chips, lightly dusted with powdered sugar; but there’s only two slices. “Eat!” She urges, she’s already started eating hers, so I do what she says and I take a large bite. And another. And another. I lick the plate clean to show my satisfaction but when I look up, Dani is doubled over.

“What's wro-” the pain overtakes me before I can finish my sentence. My stomach contorts in on itself and my chest starts to heave, aching with each breath. I reach for Danielle, but her hand is limp in mine. “Da…ni..” I try to speak again.

“Stop. It’s okay, it’s all going to be okay. This just means it’s working” She says.

How can she talk? What’s working? Through blurry eyes I see that she only took a few bites of the chocolate cake, maybe that’s it. “The…cake” I manage to get out “What was in the cake?” I gasp, shutting my eyes against the onslaught of pain in my chest.

She scoots closer to me, placing her forehead close to mine, cake smears over the front of her dress, “Hemlock.” I still don’t understand and she can see it on my face. “We can’t be together for all eternity in life, and I am so tired of living, so tired of existing, you said you wanted to come with me so I made us a cake and sprinkled death all over it.” The words tumble out of her mouth but I can’t hear her over my grunts of distress. Poison, she poisoned us. “You love me.” She whimpers.

I force myself to open my eyes and look at her, even in the throes of death, sweaty and face contorted against the pain, she is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed. “… A kiss for a kiss?” I whisper with the last of my breath, trying with all I have left to drag myself closer to her.

“Always.” She breathes, and my lips meet hers in one final push for connection. I’d never imagined my death, but as I lay dying in the arms of an angel, surrounded by the universal symbol of our love I can’t help but smile inwardly. In love and in death by chocolate.