Countless Minds

The world shifted dramatically in colour, right before her eyes. One second it was bleak, grey and cold, the next it was a sparkling vista. For a very short moment she saw clouds, radiating effervescent purple glows, engulf the sky and then disappear to reveal an impossible blue. As if they were blown away just as everything on the ground had all that time ago. Her numbness transitioned suddenly into dichotomous feeling; her grey eyes rolled back into whites; her chemicals struck her with more colour than the sky could possibly depict. Her heart palpitated furiously to cope with the influx. Love, grief, hope and anger all hit her at once, coalescing into absolute confusion. Sounds of her mother’s laughter reverberated through her soothingly. She whimpered, smiled, cried and clutched harder, with both hands, onto the golden heart-shaped locket. Young Luna was in ecstasy as her emotions rushed to settle back into their native home. A few moments passed before her irises, holding pupils in minuscule state, returned, revealing their natural colour: the deepest blue with instances of fork-lightning pink.

“I’m home,” she cried into serene air.

Young Luna was perched atop a hill whilst all this was happening, warmed by a small fire she had made. Once she had calmed a little, she peered over where she grew up once again, curious as to what she would feel. The village of Yume was completely desolate. She knew she would find it like this. Rubble where she once went to school, rubble where she used to hang out with friends, rubble where she used to eat and sleep. Still though, to her, it looked deceptively beautiful. Deep down she knew that what she was looking at was an ugly site, devoid of colour, shrouded in dust and ridden with decay. Yet, her returned emotions gave everything a wonderful silk sheen. The desolate appeared somehow lively, to her. And she was happy to suspend disbelief. Overwhelming nostalgia flooded through her as the scattered piles of rubble began to take shape, buildings of yesterday rose, trees and plants blossomed, the roads became pristine. Silhouettes wandered the streets, vehicles navigated the town, and a general bustle was to be heard. Young Luna smiled with conviction as she enjoyed the moment, her insides dazzling with vivacity. Tears streamed from ethereal eyes.

“Luna!” her mother called sweetly.

Except, her mother’s calls, and this idyllic scene of home existed only in the past. Perhaps also in parallel universes. Not in this version of time. A furious wind evaporated Yume, like she was being shown a clip in history class, and the façade was broken. Her tears kept on going.

After a couple hours of reminiscing, Young Luna felt she had indulged long enough in her feelings, for now.

“What a cruel universe,” she murmured softly, as she opened up the locket. “It’s taken everything from us. Everything from everyone.”

The locket was empty. Young Luna stared down at it, still teary eyed.

“Luna, sweetie, this is for you,” her mother had said, sitting beside her at the table in their cosy kitchen, squeezing her close and placing the locket into her hands. “No material possession holds more value to me than this very locket, just as no living thing holds more value to me than you. I know you’ll keep it safe.”

This was always a difficult moment, to let go of everything that defines her. That’s why she tried to refrain from doing it often. Nevertheless, her teary stare hardened, and she prepared.

She was a frail looking girl. Beneath the dirt, was a soft face, with all its feature’s petite, excluding her globe-like, prevalent eyes. She wore her dirty-blonde hair in a ponytail, which was scraggly and unkempt. Young Luna closed her eyes and visualised the locket, willing her emotions to venture back into it. Just as if she had stuck a knife into her heart, all her feelings began to rush out like blood. Like her very soul was detaching, like the international population on that fateful day, all emotion evacuated. She winced in pain, eyebrows furrowing above her closeted eyes. She almost shut the locket but was quickly able to stifle the urge. She bit her lip to stop from screaming. She shook, and withstood the panic. The locket rumbled vigorously, as if somehow all the earthquakes that happened then were now occurring within it. With a huge sigh, the last of her emotions were transferred. Successfully detached. Young Luna closed the locket and hung it around her neck. She opened her eyes, now reminiscent of a body busy decomposing. She felt utterly empty as she gazed at the grey, desolate world before her.

The next day Luna woke up and ventured down the steep hill she had spent the night, and many nights in the past, upon. She was carrying all her gear; her bow and arrows, her gun, her backpack filled with canned food and means of comfort, as well as general utility items that aided her survival. She had walked thousands of miles to be here, over a long period of time. How long, she was not sure of. She was at the other end of the country, visiting her Aunt when Armageddon struck, a blast no one on ground level could have possibly survived. In her Aunt’s basement, she lived through the blast, and sheltered herself from the impact winter that followed as dust and residue blocked the sun’s rays from effectively warming the atmosphere. When the cold aftermath began to ease, she set off. Now, she was here. She was finally here. And the air was calm and cool. She knew her mother must have died, but there was no other goal she could think of than to journey home and try to find some indication that she may still be alive. Failing that, perhaps seeing her home and completing her journey would provide her with some catharsis. Some sort of closure so she could move on definitively and aid a rebuild.

Young Luna found her way. She stood like a statue, expressionless, where their kitchen used to be. Young Luna set down her things and sat amongst the rubble. For a moment she looked over the destroyed village where she had spent her childhood, and felt nothing. Just as she had expected, with her mother nowhere in sight, she had no idea what to do next.

“I’ll take care of it Mummy,” she had said.

She swiftly removed the locket from her neck, opened it up, and willed to receive. Her eyes rolled back, she inadvertently whimpered, and underwent the metamorphosis.

Colour was restored to the atmosphere, and Yume began to once again take shape. Young Luna stood, shaking, appearing as though she was on the brink of collapse. Her eyes followed the restoration of the village from left to right, then she turned around to get the full panoramic of the phenomenon. Elation filled her, heart pounding. It looked just as it was, though it all glistened. She sighed peacefully into the feeling that she was home.

Except, her home remained broken. The illusion didn’t stretch as far as to build up the walls around her. It didn’t stretch as far as to materialize her mother beside her. She only heard her voice travelling like the soft breeze in the air.

“I’ll always be with you, Luna, no matter what.”

Something snapped. Young Luna screamed with malevolent force, evaporating Yume to dust once again.

“I’M ALONE!” She cried. “You’re not here!”

All of the conflicting emotions within her seemed to synergise to form a feeling that was very clear: exasperation. She began to pace back and forth. Tears streamed from her eyes, which were more animated than ever, the fork-lightning pink held within them pulsed on beat with her sudden rage.

“I’ve killed! To be here. And you are not here! So don’t try to tell me you are!”

Young Luna appeared to almost fall down to sit, the impulse was so quick. She wept into her palms, which still held the locket.

“What even is the point of going on?” She said more quietly as her anger seemed to have reached its crescendo. “You’re dead. Everything that was good is dead. Everything that made life worth surviving is dead.”

A moment passed, the only sounds to be heard were Young Luna’s whimpers, and a delicate breeze. Then, a tsunami rose magnificently within her. It felt to her like it consisted of purely molten lava. With an expression akin to glee she shot her head up from her hands, screamed, and launched the locket into the distance. There was no care for where it landed.

“I won’t do this anymore! I won’t kill! I won’t survive! I’ll stop looking for you-”

A gunshot disrupted Young Luna’s disillusion. Like a deer caught in headlights she completely froze, and observed her surroundings. She saw nothing. It could very well have been nothing, given her very evident hallucinations. Then there was another. It seemed to be coming from the direction of the hill, which was in full view. Young Luna jumped to her feet.

“Shit, what have I done?” she whispered, and raced to find her locket, leaving her things.

A third gunshot boomed.

“That has to be real.”

She frantically kicked and clawed at debris in search. Her insides burned with anguish. Mid squat, she glanced up at the hill, and sure enough, was able to make out a figure, who stood as still as the air had become. Her glance inevitably turned into a gaze, whilst her hands kept on sifting through rubble. A moment passed. Two moments passed. Then the figure seemed to break out into a run. They were coming down, towards the village.

Young Luna gasped and averted her gaze. She continued to claw and throw debris, most of which either cut her hands up or disintegrated entirely within her grasp. She stood and rushed around, thoughts rushing too.

I cannot survive like this; I cannot live in this world being who I am. I am an emotional mess. Where is the locket?!

Many minutes passed but to no avail. The locket was nowhere in sight. Young Luna panted and cried.

Save me, Mum, please.

It was no use. A needle in a haystack. A haystack that left her hands a bloodied mess. She decided it was time to retrieve her gun, as well as her bow and arrows. She would stand her ground. She knew she hadn’t the heart to kill, but she also couldn’t bring herself to run and leave the locket. If someone was to find and take it, it would be the end for her, that she was sure of. Once she had her weapons she laid down low. There was nothing to take cover behind, but her muddied face and grey clothing served as some camouflage amongst the debris.

She waited. Breathing in the dirt. Then, a chord was struck. Her heart moaned, and a visual appeared in her third eye. It was the locket. She shot up and raced along what seemed to be a path laid out by clairvoyance. She grabbed the locket, which she had thrown much further than she had anticipated. Without hesitation, she opened it up and offered herself. Blinding pain hit her. Everything rushed out and Young Luna could not stifle her reactionary scream. Then, the lights within her switched off. Her breath steadied. She looked around vigilantly, closing the locket and tying it around her neck. She walked back to her broken home, sitting once again where her mother had given her the locket.

They must have heard the scream.

She waited. Gun pointed, poised to kill.

Nobody came.