Control. The Train Wreck Of Life

The steady rocking of the train vibrated and rocked my body as I struggled to wake up. A heavy fogginess weighed heavy, and I strained to regain focus on my surroundings. The light from the window help bring me around and I surveyed the room trying to piece together where I was and how the hell did I get here?

The train seats all around me were empty. I looked for my briefcase, but it was gone. Did I even have it to begin with? My head started to swirl with questions. My hand went to the inside pocket of my jacket to reach for my cell phone, but it was gone. Looking around my seat I couldn’t find it and thought that’s weird I’m never without it. Did someone take it? I pulled my wallet out and my driver’s license, credit cards and what little cash I had was still there, but it just added to the confusion as to where I was and how I got here. I checked the rest of my pockets and couldn’t find a train ticket of any kind either.

I checked back into my wallet for clues and stared at my license as if the guy in the picture could fill me in. “Come on Steve Watson…what did you do this time?” I stuffed the card back into the wallet and shoved it back into my back jean pocket. I guess I need to go find someone else to fill in the blanks.

I got up and moved through the empty train car to enter the next one. Again no one was there and no lights on, no sound other than the train rambling down the track. I glanced at my watch, and it was 11:45 in the morning. I looked outside to see if I could figure out where we were at, but all I saw was unfamiliar blank countryside with no one in sight. Something didn’t feel right. Why couldn’t I remember? My heart was starting to pound, and I moved quickly to the next car.

Car after car was empty. Each car was wiped clean, no paper, nothing left behind, as if it was prepped ready for the new day. Except there wasn’t any staff on board either. No food, no beverages, like everywhere else on the train – the kitchen car was empty too.

What is going on? I thought. I’ve got to make my way to the engine. There must be someone there.

My stomach felt heavy. My mind was racing. This is crazy! The last thing I remember was…heading home from the office. I had a meeting with a new client Harry Kressler. He had just written a novel that he wanted me to promote and handle the book launch. I remembered he was giving me a hard time, because he wanted to be in total control, and he didn’t want anything to do with online marketing, which in the 21st century, how else were you going to market your book? An older gentleman in his late 70’s he was gruff and full of himself. Kind of a John Wayne size and mentality, he didn’t see any reason to have a website or do a social media launch – let alone to pay someone to set it up.

Frustrated, I stopped for a drink at the corner bar after the meeting. It was my usual watering hole that was a classy bar upstairs from the Kansas City’s best steak restaurant. I sat at the bar and admired the shelves full of different kinds of bourbons. I ordered a Blanton neat and sat enjoying the warm velvet bourbon as it went down smooth.

After that…I was drawing a blank.

I finally made my way to the locomotive and opened the door to the cab. Oh my God! It’s empty! No signs of the engineers were even there. No sign of struggle. Nothing. The train was a runaway, and I was the only person on board.

I frantically looked for a radio. Clicked on the on button and pushed the handheld microphone, “May Day! May Day! Anyone there?” I waited and glanced outside again to see if I could recognize where I was. At least we’re out in the country and not endangering anyone in the city, I tried to rationalize.

“Steve. How are you doing?” the low gruff voice came across the speaker.

“I’m...wait...how do you know my name? What’s going on? Where is everyone? Where am I?” What is happening? I tried to think, but the train’s noise was getting louder in the cab, and I looked down at the dials and panel and I could see the train was picking up speed.

“Control Steve. It’s pretty simple. I’m in control.” The voice came across again.

“Who is this? What do you want?”

“It’s Harry, Steve.” The man’s voice loudly announced.

Harry Kressler? How is that possible I thought. I felt sick and yet at the same time I was getting angry.

“Harry Kressler? What do you want?” I demanded. “Stop this train!”

Harry laughed and I felt a chill come over me.

“Not so fast. You’re going to learn the customer is always right. Your client is the one in control. Not you!”

“Harry! This is insane! Stop the train!”

The radio went dead. The locomotive sped down the tracks with no one in sight.

I looked for a brake system and tried that. I tried changing the radio to another channel to reach help, still nothing.

I looked outside and debated to jump, but by now the train’s speed would mean a fatal jump for sure.

I sat down in the engineer’s seat to think. What’s Harry’s endgame. Okay, he want’s control, he wants to teach me a lesson, and he’s somehow driving this train remotely. For an old fart he’s proven he’s smarter than he lets on with technology. I’ve heard of control freaks, but this is ridiculous.

I could wait this out. Eventually we would run out of fuel. Unless he decides to crash this beast!

I looked around for flags, clothing, blanket – something, anything to alert someone when the train passes through a town. How is it that the train is stripped of everything?

Thinking back to our meeting, I tried to recall what his book was about and what his background was. He was a Vietnam Vet, who was also a retired mechanic, a bit of a homebody, which seems odd he wanted to write a book because he didn’t seem the type. I wondered how Harry knew how to drive this train remotely was beyond me unless he learned from his military experience.

Harry’s book was a non-fiction conspiracy theory of sort. I hadn’t read it yet; I had just met him. How could he pull all of this off? How did he get me from the bar to the train? My mind was overloaded on questions and still couldn’t put it all together.

Glancing at my watch again it was 4:30pm and the train hadn’t slowed. We passed a few small towns and oddly I hadn’t seen anyone along the way. Not a passing truck, car, or anyone along roadways or towns. How is that possible?

I could see the sun in front of the train, so I figured we were going west. Knowing direction would seem to help, but I felt clueless as to where I was and where I was going.

“Steve!” Harry’s voice boomed across the radio again.

“What Harry?” I tried to sound calm. He wants control, let’s see what he’ll do.

“Have you learned why the customer is always right yet?”

“Seriously? This is a lesson in customer service? Is that really your biggest issue with me? Because drugging and kidnapping me, putting me on an empty train and stealing it remotely…that seems a little over kill for dissatisfied customer service. But hey, you’re in charge of this train wreck.” So much for remaining calm I thought.

“Shut up you piss ant! You’re just a simple pawn in all of this! I own you. You’re going to do exactly as I tell you. I’m so sick of no one listening to me. You’re going to send a message to the world.”

What the hell is he talking about? I had no idea what he was planning to do. I had to keep him talking. “So, how exactly am I going to send a message? You took my phone, my briefcase with my computer, there’s no way I can contact anyone from here that I can see. And for that matter, I haven’t seen anyone here or along the train’s path. Empty train, empty towns…just where are we going anyway?”

I got up to look outside again desperately searching for anyone, or any clue as to where I was.

“Sit down and listen to me.” Harry snapped.

I was stunned. How did he know I got up? There must me a camera in the cab I thought and started looking for it.

Suddenly the train’s brake system slammed on, jolting the train, and knocking me off my feet and slamming my head against the cab wall. I fell to the floor hard, dazed for a minute and then tried to grab the seat to pull myself up. I could hear gears shift again and the train resumed speeding down the railway to the unknown.

“Do I have your attention now?” Harry’s voice growled from the speaker.

I sat down and gathered myself. My head was pounding. I realized now Harry was in fact in control.

“What’s the plan Harry?” I finally asked.

“You’re going to go back to the passenger cars, two past the one you woke up in. You’ll find your briefcase there with instructions and a phone. Don’t try to call for help. I have it blocked. I’ll call you in 5 minutes.”

“Wait…hello?” The speaker went dead.

I got up holding my head, this is crazy I thought, and started towards the door.

I found my briefcase in the last seat of the passenger car. Was it there before? I didn’t go in this direction to begin with, maybe it was – or maybe he just put it there. Is Harry on the train or really driving it remotely? Too many questions.

I sat down and started to go through my briefcase when the phone rang. I quickly searched for my phone and found a burner phone instead.

“Yeah?” I answered out of breath of running through the cars.

“You’re going to write a new ending to my book.” Harry commanded.

“Why?” I asked completely baffled.

“Since no one will listen to me to hear my side of the story, you’re going to tell my story… or rewrite your own demise.” Harry continued. “What better way for you to see I was right and put you as the one responsible for everyone’s ending.”

I couldn’t put two thoughts together.

“Steve! Wake up and get busy! Otherwise, this train is just going to keep on traveling through a blank barren world with you as the only survivor! My book is in the briefcase, start reading. Then start writing. Then we’ll talk about how you’re going to put it out online to change life as you know it.”

Fumbling through my briefcase I found his book, the instructions to contact his publisher, and then pulled out my laptop. “How much time do I have?” I asked, trying to wrap my head around all this.

“Get busy. I’ll call you back soon.” And with that Harry hung up.

Grabbing his book, I flipped it to the back to try to get a good sense of it. It was a rambling mess of conspiracy doomsday that didn’t make sense. No wonder no one else wanted to promote his book. I opened the book to the first chapter and started reading.

‘The steady rocking of the train vibrated and rocked my body as I struggled to wake up. A heavy fogginess weighed heavy, and I strained to regain focus on my surroundings. The light from the window help bring me around and I surveyed the room trying to piece together where I was and how the hell did I get here?’

How is this possible? I was beginning to think I was going crazy.

‘The train seats all around me were empty. I looked for my briefcase, but it was gone. Did I even have it to begin with? My head started to swirl with questions. My hand went to the inside pocket of my jacket to reach for my cell phone, but it was gone. Looking around my seat I couldn’t find it and thought that’s weird I’m never without. Did someone take it? I pulled my wallet out and my driver’s license, credit cards and what little cash I had was still there, but it just added to the confusion as to where I was and how did I get here. I checked the rest of my pockets and couldn’t find a train ticket of any kind either.’

I shut the book and my head was spinning. I’m dreaming. That must be it. I met Harry, left and had some drinks, and I’m home dreaming this shit up.

I need air. I got up and went to the car’s back door and opened it and stood outside hanging onto the back rail. The railway was racing by and its vibration from the train was rumbling through my body as I forced myself to stay steady, and the wind was cold and harsh filling my lungs. Damnit! I am a wake! The landscape around me was just as cold and barren. It was as if a bomb had gone off, decimating the world, except the train and me.

What if Harry was right? What if he has power and the control to create his own reality and enforce it into mine and everyone else around him?

What if I have the power and the responsibility to change his story to save me and everyone else?

I started reading his book to see where it led me and where he left off.

It was late into the night when I finished. Harry’s theory was using his mind to release an idea into the universe and believing in it so strongly that it not only becomes his reality, but also the reality of everyone else’s too. His energy created a nuclear response within the world’s aura giving Harry complete control over life itself.

His own conspiracy is his own energy conspiring with the universe and free will.

I sat back into seat and stared out the window. Darkness took over the empty landscape and I had to wonder if Harry was in control of free will, how does he expect me to rewrite his ending and why?

If I rewrite the horrific ending he has written, will it be my free will to do so under his command? How do I know he hasn’t already orchestrated this as well?

A heavy sigh came over me. I realized I hadn’t slept in a while, yet at time like this I didn’t dare to. No food or sleep messes with your head and spirit.

The phone rang, startling me. I answered it with dread, knowing it was Harry.

“What?” I answered coldly.

“You’re not writing. Do you want the ending to stay as it is?” Harry asked.

“It’s just a book. It’s just your words.” I felt like I was testing the universe.

“You doubt the reality you’re sitting in right now?” He roared.

“I’m doubting my sanity.” I replied dryly.

“You’re willing to let everyone die from your nonbelief?”

“You are not God. Your energy has created an alternative reality, that of which I’m not sure is real or not.

“You dare doubt what you see?”

“What if I did?” I asked boldly.

Harry hung up.

Oh shit. I just pissed him off again. If the only way out of this is to rewrite the ending, I wasn’t sure how I would even start it.

I opened my laptop and found Harry had downloaded his book already. How convenient I thought. If he put his thoughts and feelings into words and energy to produce this, I just have to think of what I want to change. If he so heartily believed his story to make it become a reality…then the only thing to change would be for him to doubt himself. He would lose control of what is.

I straighten up in my seat and opened the file and started typing. The words came from the unknown and I continued effortlessly, grateful, and thankful for its energy.

The morning light peaked over the edge and shined through the car window. I read back through what I had written, satisfied it’s what I would love to see in my world; I truly felt it in my soul. My actions in putting it into writing sent my energy out into the universe.

God will hear me. My faith is in Him and His energy within the universe.

I was exhausted yet bewildered that Harry hadn’t called or acted out after the last call. I laid back into my seat and closed my eyes. I wasn’t going to worry. I believed it was going to be okay. Sleep overcame me and it was welcomed.

The train suddenly picked up abruptly and charged full speed down the track. The passenger cars rocked left to right and I awoke in time to grab the laptop sliding for the floor.

The phone rang. I snatched it up as it too was sliding across my seat.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“You didn’t think it was going to be that easy did you Steve?”

“I did what you ask.”

“You did. But you didn’t submit it. You didn’t write a press release either. Oh, and if you believe the internet is the only way to sell the book -You’re going to need a website, social media following and a sales page…according to you. You might believe in what you wrote, but now you’ve got to sell it to make it happen.” Harry paused and then added, “Time is running out. The train is heading for its final run and as you know the bridge ahead is set to be blown.”

“I read your ending. It’s not going to happen your way. I rewrote your ending. Only I can write my own story that’s true and right in the world.”

“Yes…and yet the train is picking up speed. Submit the story, Steve. Send out the press release. Otherwise, your ending will never be.” Harry hung up.

“Damnit!” Flustered, I thought about what he said. I acted on what I would love to see happen, I felt it to be true and believe God will make it happen. Why isn’t it?

“Stop. Don’t even question it.” That’s all I heard from within.

I opened my laptop. Searched for the paper with Harry’s publisher and sent the rewrite to his email. I then wrote a press release and sent it to all the top agencies and media connections I had.

The quickest way to build a website is to build one off from one of my existing sites. Using WordPress, I chose a theme and quickly built a site that included an opt in link to buy the book or download now to read it for free. I added the link to the site to my social media platforms urging people to read it now. I included a picture of the train I was on and what I was seeing. A quick video of me describing the insanity of what Harry has done and the view of the passing empty towns and passenger car I was sitting in was also uploaded on my Instagram. It went viral.

Now we wait.

Alright Harry, who has the greater will power now? I thought as I sat there rocking in my seat.

The publisher got my urgent message and was responding. Social media was buzzing, and news lines were picking up the chatter. Word was out.

The book was being downloaded at record speed. I felt a sigh of relief and smiled thinking I’ve never created so much content and have it all fall into place so fast and have it go viral instantly. Sent a heartfelt thank you and gratitude to God for helping me make it happen.

I meditated. I visualized the train stopping. People vibrant in their homes, little towns, big cities busy and thriving. Harry defeated and handcuffed…

The steady train sped down the tracks and the rocking continued.

I felt calm. I should be freaking out as nothing ever has worked out in my world, but this time felt different. I truly believe all will be right soon.

I got up and looked out the window. I could see some mountains ahead. The train was coming into Colorado. At this speed, I wondered if we were coming close to Denver?

A truck was driving along the road next to the train trying to keep up. My heart leaped out of chest. I ran to the last car and stepped out on the platform, hanging onto the rail so I wouldn’t get thrown down. I waved to the truck driver, and he waved back and honked his horn. The driver pulled closer and had his window rolled down, he leans out and yells, “We got your message! Everyone knows!”

The train sped up and pulled away from the truck before I could yell back. We rounded a curve and the train cars swayed violently. I made my way back into the passenger car and decided to move to the front locomotive. I grabbed my laptop and phone, and stuffed them into the briefcase, and made my way through the cars hanging onto anything I could to steady myself. Before stepping into the locomotive cab, I looked down to the coupling that connected the passenger cars to the lead engine.

I wonder if I could, or even should disconnect the cars, I thought. It would disrupt Harry’s plan already set in place and leave only the engine to slow down. I looked down and saw a main hose connecting alongside the train coupling hitch. That must be the brake system, and if I disconnect that wouldn’t the emergency brakes go on? Or would it disengage the brakes all together? I decided not to mess with it or the plan I had put into place.

I sat down inside the cab and looked out the window to see what was ahead of me. There was a town coming into view and I could see cars and trucks moving around. I looked for the train’s horn and reached up and pulled the lever. A long blast of beautiful noise came screaming out and I couldn’t contain my smile and laughter! Someone will hear me!

The phone rang.

I picked it up, “It’s over Harry! They all know. Stop the train. No one needs to get hurt.”

“You think you won?” Harry growled. “I’m still in control.”

“NO! You gave up your control when you wanted me to rewrite your story. You gave up not only your free will of what you wanted, but what you believed would be. The narrative has changed.”

There was a long pause. Harry came back on and snarled, “buckle up Steve. You’re in for a ride of a lifetime, or should I say your death ride?”

He hung up – again. Damnit! Why does he get the last word, I thought?

The world knows. I’m not going to not believe in my story. It’s going to be okay. I grabbed the brakes again and pulled on them. Still nothing.

I looked outside. We were coming into Denver, and the train had one bridge to go over before entering the city.

Flying above was a helicopter with news cameras filming. Ahead I saw first responder’s emergency lights near the bridge, clearing the area.

The train is going to stop. I believed that. I owned that belief, the true story, and its ending. It’s going to stop. Anytime now.

I sat down. I felt a strange calm come over me.

“I’ve got this.” The voice said.

“We’ve got this.” I repeated.

The brakes screeched and smoke billed from the wheels and the locomotive. The cars slammed forward against the braking system testing its very source. The locomotive was still going to reach the bridge.

“Steve. Let go.” The voice commanded.

“Let go of what?” I asked.

“Let go of control.”

It hit me then. I had been just as much a control freak as Harry, thinking I always had to be right.

I let out a huge sigh. And closed my eyes. I let go. I let God drive.

The train continued to slow, but it began to cross the bridge.

The explosion was instant. The light was blinding, and the heat was felt in a flash. Its sound deafening.

I awoke.

Opening my eyes. I looked around confused and disoriented. I was in a hospital room. The nurse noticed I came around.

“That was quite a publicity stunt!” the nurse said as she started checking me.

“What stunt?” I asked still trying to regain my senses.

“Your book release. It’s already on the best seller list! You’ve had agents, newsmen, and the police waiting for you to wake up to talk to you.”

“It wasn’t my book, it was Harry’s…”

“Tell that to the police.” And with that the nurse walked out.

The TV was on, and the news coverage was still showing the runaway train exploding on the bridge just outside of Denver.

How am I alive? I wondered as I tried to take inventory of injuries.

The doctor came in and check the monitors and then turned his attention to me. “You’re quite the miracle.” He was an older gentleman with white hair and a caring manner about him.

“How did I get here?” I asked.

“As near as we can figure out, you must have been thrown from the train during the explosion. The water below the bridge cushioned your fall, but no one knows who or how you got to the river edge. You have a concussion from the explosion but that’s it. No breaks, bruises, or cuts. Never seen anything like it.”

“Did anyone else get hurt?” I asked.

“No one. Your press release alerted the threat and emergency response was immediately dispatched to your area.”

“What about Harry?”

“What about him?” the doctor asked looking at him seriously.

“Did they find him? Is he arrested?”

“He doesn’t exist Steve.” He watched for my response.

My head spun; my gut felt like a heavy punch just landed. How is that possible? I tried to formulate words into a sentence. “But I woke up on the train. He kidnapped me! He stole a train and blew it up!”

“No Steve. There’s no Harry. It was all you.” He stopped for a moment and looked up at the doorway and then added, “the police want to talk to you. Are you ready?”

I was shocked. I couldn’t speak but must’ve nodded.

The police detective came in and introduce himself.

“Your book is pretty convincing. The kidnapping, the stolen runaway train. The explosion. It’s all laid out in your book. Except Harry isn’t real and your name is listed as the author. If all of this was a publicity stunt, I hope you sell enough books to cover this mess you created.” He paused waiting for my reply, but I just stared at him in disbelief. “As soon as the doc give you an all clear and release you, I’m taking you in. You’re under arrest.”

I was in disbelief. My head hurt and I gave into the pain and passed out.

I woke up handcuffed to my bed rail. A beautiful woman was sitting next to me texting on her phone. Her long dark hair flowed over her shoulders, her make applied with careful detail really wasn’t needed at all. She wore a tailored blue dress showing off her slender figure.

She looked up and saw I was awake. “Good. Listen. Your lawyer is on his way, so don’t say anything to anyone until he’s here with you. I’m Shari Avant, your agent and publicist, I’ll take care of your book and movie deal.”

“What movie deal?” I tried to sit up to clear my head. “Who are you? I didn’t hire you. Who’s the lawyer?”

The nurse stepped in again to check monitors and change the IV bag of saline. She looked like a seasoned nurse with no sense of humor, and she glanced over at the woman sitting beside me and gave her a nasty look. “He needs rest.” She snapped at her hoping she would leave.

“He needs these cuffs off.” Shari snapped back.

“Can’t do anything about that.” And she turned and left the room.

“Don’t worry about her, Jack your lawyer will have this all cleared up soon, and we’ll get you home.”

“I don’t have a lawyer name Jack. I don’t have any lawyer. I don’t have an agent or publicist either. I don’t know why the train didn’t just stop. I don’t know where Harry is and why he isn’t arrested. I’m tired of all of this! I just want to go home!” I pulled at the cuffs expecting them to give away and finally fell back into bed in a huff.

Shari sat there waiting for me to stop and finally realized my side of it all. “Okay, to start with, when you sent your book into your publisher, the editor made a few changes to the end. Your publisher loved it and saw the buzz you already created online and hired me to take it to the next level. We hired Jack as your lawyer knowing the Feds would be all over the train stunt you pulled…”

I looked at her dumbfounded. “What about Harry? How does he fit? How did he drug me and kidnap me from the bar and put me on an empty runaway train? What about him blowing up the bridge? It was HIS book, His publisher…he came to me to launch his book. He was the one in control of this train wreck! Not me!”

“Oh Steve. There isn’t a Harry. He’s just a character in your book.” She reached down and pulled out a copy of the book. “We had the printer advance us a few copies. Check it out.” Shari handed me the book and got up to leave. “Look, I’ve got to go. We’ll talk soon about your launch and the movie. Jack will be here soon to clear up the legal stuff. It’s going to be okay. We got this.”

I looked up at her when she said that and was stunned. “Last time I heard that I got blown up.”

“Yeah, but you walked away without a bruise on you, a number one book, and a movie deal.” She smiled, winked, and walked out the door.

I looked at the book and it had the picture I took from the train, and my name on the by line.

I turned the book over and read the back.

Control. The Train Wreck of Life.

'Writer, entrepreneur, Steve Watson boards a runaway train and explores the possibility of using his mind to manifest stopping the train and its delusional engineer Harry Kressler, before it reaches a bridge set to explode in a highly populated community. Steve’s greatest challenge is learning to let go, have faith and to trust himself and a higher source to succeed.

Is will power enough to alter control? Or will someone else’s control of free will change the ending? Only the reader will know.'