“What are you doing?”
“Writing and editing a story.”
“Oh. Can I see it?”
“Sure. Would love to hear your personal feedback.”
I hand over my story - the one I’ve been working so hard to create, feeling vulnerable, but also curious. Can she feel the nuances of my individual voice?
“Okay,” I hear her mumble as she reads. “Hmmm,” red pen in hand, crossing out words and rewriting sentences. She hands back the corrected version.
“Interesting story,” she encourages. “I fixed it.”
I look it over in taken-aback silence.
“Thanks. Now it sounds perfect.”
About the Creator
KJ Aartila
A writer of words in northern WI with a small family and a large menagerie.
My Substack
Enjoyed the story? Support the Creator.
Subscribe for free to receive all their stories in your feed. You could also pledge your support or give them a one-off tip, letting them know you appreciate their work.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Keep reading
More stories from KJ Aartila and writers in Fiction and other communities.
a heart hurt by the reality of the world
In a bustling city, there lived a young woman named Clara. She was an artist, with a heart full of dreams and a soul that saw beauty in the smallest things. Her days were spent painting vivid landscapes and tender portraits, her brush capturing the essence of a world she hoped was as beautiful as her art.
By Ashari Asgaf2 days ago in Fiction
Comments (7)
There is always a difference between feedback and rewriting a story. Loved this ❤️. The friend needs to write her own story and leave the one she just dissected alone 😔 Great job ❤️
Oh dang, this is such a relatable feeling. Amazing job capturing the anxiety! And that ending; man!
I think my mouth popped open and just hung there at the end. I could feel the excitement and anxiety at having someone else read and give feedback. Great work on this one ;)
I feel this. I don't want to, but I feel it.
Oof, that hurt! You captured everything perfectly!
Clever... More of a "Deconstructive" criticism here. Excellent!
Now the story is bleeding red ink. Fixed or heavily injured? Nice work!