City Bound Country Stricken

City Bound Country Stricken

“There was not a better time but now to leave Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.” Sarah thought aloud during an April spring day in 2014. With her head in her hands, fighting back anger and a thunderstorm of tears. Sarah was expedited from Upper Marlboro, Maryland after a physical brawl with her girlfriend. That ended up leaving Sarah doing four months in county lock up. Before Commonwealth of Pennsylvania finally picked her up for her to then do two ½ years in county prison. Finally getting out and on parole Sarah was not loving the feel of Harrisburg. Surveying every scenario in her mind from the moment her cousin told Sarah that her mother was found by the fire dep't dead by a fowl stench, up unto how other members of her life never been respecting the name of loyalty according to her chosen lifestyle. Soon enough Sarah would be 27 years old with a dying wish of what real family could have been.

One night Sarah came home from bar hopping and drinking ending her night from hustling. When she undressed, she hit the bed hard into a deep drunken sleep. Just before a phone call that would only spoil the rest of Sarah’s’ life. In her sleep Sarah heard her mother’s voice Screaming her name, “SARAH”!!!!!!! this felt Something familiar; a nightmare like she was a kid again, living in her mother’s home. Which would make anyone, like Sarah jerk up right in her bed. Reconfirming she was indeed in her own home and fully grown and alone. As Sarah went to check her phone noticing 127 missed phone calls and text messages, is when she caught this next phone ring which is then when Dennis Sarah’s cousin told her what happened. Everything about Sarah’s’ body frozen solid.

It was like her memory was catching up to time, because she just had the weirdest Deja vu moment. After the shock and stillness wore off for those few minutes; Sarah fled out of her bed through the front door of her home, half naked running onto the cold streets into the night towards her mother’s house. The News was not wrong, and it broke something inside of Sarah that she would not be able to see. Nor understand until the time is right. If Sarah can find herself before the lifestyle, she chose consumes and lead her only into a cold-hearted broken situation. She will unfold what she so secretively desires.

The memorial of Sarah’s veteran mother took place the day before Sarah’s twenty-seventh birthday and all of Sarah’s relatives would be there. The worst part Sarah’s’ little sister Lilly and her newborn baby son would also be coming not only to pay respects but for Sarah’s nephew too meet his aunty Raha’s for the first time. This made Sarah feel very uneasy and happy all at once. Even understanding that her mother will not be able to meet her grandson causes agony within Sarah no one can see, or do they care. Lilly and Sarah were 3 years apart in birth and stayed apart by favoritism as well as having different fathers. Lilly Knew hers and Sarah was never told about hers at least correctly. But even so this is a memorial this does not change the status between both. It has been about 2 to 3 years since Sarah saw Lilly last. It was while Lilly still was carrying the baby with remarks of not wanting to know what the baby’s gender could be.

That is around the time when Lilly and Sarah had a big fallen out at Lilly’s’ baby shower. So many hurtful things were said, which keeps replaying in Sarah’s mind. On top of all of it, this was different. This was the loss of a person Sarah grew around but not with, this was her “Mother.” For Sarah there was one other person, Sarah had and that was her Nana. The person who mostly raised Sarah through out her whole life so far and was the only reason Sarah would want to keep on with life. Suddenly a black car pulls up and you can hear a baby crying from the porch of the funeral home coming from that oncoming black car.

Sarah looks in all ways to see no baby. Once the black car pulled up close enough for Sarah to identify her sister Lilly and her father in the passenger seat, Sarah skipped steps down the staircase and towards the car to find a red-faced baby boy just as yellow as sunrise and crying for dear life. Sarah’s heart skipped beats to hear her heart singing out “My Baby Nephew.” As the biggest smile dressed over the red eyes full of tears for both. Lilly jumped out of the driver’s side quickly to comfort the baby. Opening the car door and calling the baby’s name “Kevin Its okay,” “It is okay Kevin.” This being the first time Sarah heard her nephew’s name. When it was said, Sarah went around Lilly to get access to the baby boy.

Sticking her face in Kevin’s face then start to make sound effects like a beat box which got his attention. Kevin then stops crying, you can hear Lilly in the background agreeing with the results. Sarah watching her nephew being distracted by the sounds he starts hearing that he now opens his eyes. Kevin and Sarah stares at each other for more than 6 seconds before Kevin allows his aunt Rah Rah to retrieve him from the car seat. Lilly motioned forward in hesitation to also reminded herself how Sarah helped raised her at a point in her life as well. Reassuring herself about the skills her older sister holds and watching her son do something he has never done before, and that was letting a stranger pick him up.

A sudden silence captured the three of them while Kevin in the arms of his aunty Rah and along the side of her younger sister, his mother Lilly like a hug from a mother. Seeming as everyone felt the same calmness in the same moment, happened to look over to find Lilly’s dad looking at them. As he asks, “Are we ready now”? looking ahead of them towards the building of the funeral home. Sarah and Lilly both looked at each other, and with out words they all started towards the funeral home in unison.

Sarah never been to anything like this and for sure fact she was happy to see an Urn instead of the body of her mother in that cased in box. While words were being said about the passing of the veteran at hand, Sarah could not help but think of how her mother and herself were not close at all. In fact, looking around the room everyone was indeed family but so distance Sarah really did not know these people and now that strangers surrounded her, hardened the heart in her chest that she stops crying and leaves the room. Sarah had people there she felt she knew where like extended family, that Sarah picked up and they also were unknown, but they had enough time spent in the life of Sarah, and that is why Sarah invited them.

After the service everyone went out to dinner. Sarah departed with the ones she invited also leaving behind so much more of herself that she really did not have. These members Sarah treated like family betrayed her leaving her to make drastic movements. Time came where Sarah became out numbered and had to find a better plan to fall back on. But war was officially declared if they knew it or not. Sarah was not any longer losing anything anymore.

By June 14, 2014, Sarah found herself in Brooklyn, New York where it all started. This time it is different because Sarah is 13 years older, much stronger than before, more hateful than ever and if alone she had to grow up then dangerous, she will practice and pronounce herself as. Deep inside Sarah is not sure if she made a healthy decision by leaving a suburban town on the words of lies. Paying off her fines and cost finishing parole, Sarah promised to not come back, but even the alter ego inside of Sarah ‘Chasity’ laughed. As the day arrived to leave Harrisburg

Sarah first missed her ride. So, she had to preplanned and this time for sure she felt the heat coming from somewhere that she left. Alone in Brooklyn again! Excitement grew all over Sarah, that soon as Sarah was finally in New York New York, she jumped off the Grey Hound bus, sand gave out a howling wolf like noise and then kissed the concrete ground in time square Manhattan. Sarah cried tears looking at all the people moving and the lights to soon whisper “HOME SWEET HOME. Sarah felt the air and warmth of the sun on her face to visually disappear into the tunnels of the trains. Muscle memory happened to kick in, it has been an exceptionally long time since she was in NY, and it felt like she had never left.