Children of the Corn (2023) - Movie Review

Introduction

There's a new remake of Children of the Corn did you know about that probably not I don't think a lot of people did which is why we need to talk about it because sometimes it's important to take out the trash.

Synopsis

So Children of the Corn is another remake of an old film or you can see it as a new Stephen King adaptation so prefacing I haven't seen Children of the Corn I thought I did and I was like oh yeah the one where the kid gets sucked into the wood chipper at the end, oh that was two so I've seen two and three stirring a marathon in the 90s I guess I missed one but hey them's the times so I haven't seen the original haven't read the book I don't know how this Stacks up I just know how this movie Stacks up in terms of its own film and whether or not it's entertaining. The Funny thing is this movie wastes no time it gets to it it's just like this little girl's like you know what adult's gonna die today.

Usually I appreciate it when a film can just get to it and not waste your time but this is the kind of film that gets right to it and still feels like it's wasting your time this movie needed a lot more Intrigue a lot more character development like let's have some time to get to know these people before things just fall apart when I didn't get that in here I was met with that feeling I usually get in Stephen King adaptations which is this would be a much better mini series of some sort it's actually funny enough it felt like a mini series that was cut down to about an hour and a half an hour 45 minute film what you think that's going to look like this is exactly that there were some things in this film where I'm like I I can almost see what you were going for there which means it was probably done better in the book and if it wasn't well hey this movie came dangerously close to making sense it was when I was met with those feelings of I'm sure there's some sort of allegory of people versus Twitter on here maybe I'm just seeing what I want to say I would totally die in this Children of the Corn story wouldn't I that I'd be one of the adults they put in the pit and Berry our two leads make the best attempt at giving us something ,in fact, uh the creepy girl Kate Moyer I believe that's her name yep Kate Moyer I felt she did a really good job at playing a creepy girl I would like to see her have a shot at doing that in a movie with a better script for her to work with.

CGI

This is where I'm going to give you a light spot spoiler warning sure I'm going to talk about the big CGI thing at the end are you still gonna see this movie you can all I can do is give you my opinion and what you do with that opinion that is yours to do with as you will that says life should be but if you are going to see this movie blink twice if you're in trouble right.

So this little girl in this movie is killing the adults to appease this I don't know this being that she calls He Who Walks you don't really know what it is see a couple of times like you know a plant-looking hand you might hear a sound maybe you'll see the corn stalks moving you're like oh something's there which works that was any and all Intrigue in this movie was based around that I'm like what is this thing what is what's going on then for the climax of this film you see the big evil group corn stock CGI monster and I was like Jaws you should have done the Jaws famously the story of the film Jaws is they couldn't get the shark to look right so Spielberg was like all right we just won't show the shark for most of the movie it worked out better for the films like the textbook case of making lemonade out of lemons that are also applicable to bad CGI if you can't make the CGI look good just don't show the thing because any of the Intrigue I had was wrapped around this monster I thought was kind of cool that you never really saw the monster and then you see the monster and any and all we're talking all!! all! all! The Intrigue was gone and then it was our lead versus big CGI corn stock monster thing and it was terrible! funny enough you ever go on a long drive through ironic farmland or a desert just basically long stretches of flat land and you do it for a while long enough to feel like you're going about 20 miles an hour but you're really going 75 right you're moving fast but it barely feels like you're moving at all that's what this movie feels like a lot of things happens very quickly but there's no real attempt at getting the audience to care about the characters or having some narrative thread that weaves it together so it feels like nothing's happening you get glimpses of what looks like could have been a good movie there and it's almost as though the film makes a conscious effort to avoid that the Children of the Corn remake is Pretty Boring.

Conclusion

This movie committed not a cardinal sin but the cardinal sin it was just boring alright so Children of the Corn what's your favorite Children of the Corn movie I'm not even gonna impress you with a question that implies that you need to watch this and tell me what you thought of this one also favorite Children of the Corn movie Whatever let's just have some fun with it whatever it is whatever you think comment below let me know.