Chasm in Our Midst

He gingerly and affectionately laid his head down on her lap. She looked down at him. “You need to clean your ears out and your scalp looks inflamed.” He winced and sat back up, not responding with any words. She was critical in every way thinkable, even when he pretended she wasn’t. He liked to pretend like he was this perfect man that could do everything right. He liked to pretend that he was ripped from head to toe, that he always smelled amazing, that he always had a witty response, that he was athletic, stoic but sensitive, outgoing but reserved too, kind but definitely not a pushover, outdoorsy but also quick to do as many house chores as possible too. Cleaning the cat litter up from the laundry room was especially important. Although, he couldn’t do too many house chores some days because that would make her feel guilty, or like she wasn’t needed. He tried to do, and be, everything that would be just right.

One day they went walking. He walked faster because he was thinking intently. “I just don’t understand… Why did this happen?” He asked, without looking at her.

“You just seemed so perfect.” She replied.

His heart plummeted to what felt like the ground. Three steps ahead of them the paved road opened up. He saw the massive opening and without any fear or hesitation, he jumped into the chasm in the road. She didn’t see any of it and kept walking across like nothing had happened up above. He dropped downwards for what felt likes centuries. The pounding of his heartbeat got slower, it was a slow motion heartbeat, or so it seemed. The colors and blurriness of everything around him swirled in a wild frenzy. His lungs felt like they were being squeezed by an anochonda. He closed his eyes and wanted to disappear into thin air somehow. There were stars twinkling and then sirens flashing. There were hundreds of phone alarms ringing in his ears. Every memory since his earliest recollection flashed through his mind’s eye in a millisecond.

“Hello!?” His friend exclaimed and questioned. “Are you alright?”

He came back to the present moment. “Oh, yeah… I’m good.” He shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

“You don’t look so good.”

“Oh?”

“I think I’ll get some water to drink and I’ll be fine in a minute.” He reached to the side of the backpack and pulled out a water bottle.

“You are sweating a lot.”

He wiped his brow and upper lip. “I’ll be fine. When you told me that I seemed perfect, it kind of triggered me a little bit. That’s all. I’m good. Let’s keep hiking. It’s a beautiful day!” He smiled and forged on ahead on the wooded trail. “You of all people should know how painfully flawed I am. Let me list all the reasons why I am terribly flawed and messed up.”

The birds continued to sing. The trees swayed around them. Not far away from where they were hiking, there was a river and a small footbridge. They sat and dangled their legs off the side of the bridge. They’d brought ham sandwiches with honey mustard to eat for lunch. Truly, they could not have asked for a better day to enjoy the outdoors. They munched on the sandwiches and looked down at the colorful pebbles in the water below. A small fish swam by lazily. After they finished their sandwiches, they got up and continued walking more of the trail. The sunshine felt amazing on their shoulders as they walked and took in the amazing views.