chaos

What can a boy do who is just 22 and still fighting with anxiety,stress and depression.You may say a lot but what if he doesnt want to.This is a story of a boy who lived in New York and now dont even exist working on night s shifts on guard department and suddenly died.

November 22,1987 i knew the exact date right.I was working on my job and it was mostly around 12 when I heard the howling sounds.I am a bit coward in these situations and I felt that it is kind of scary voices that will just make me feel goosebumps well I tried to solace myself and afterall I saw a girl walking from the main road and I was in the jacket and a taking a cigarette I was really tight at that situation and New York,you know a little bit more scary.Anyhow I just looked at her and she was just runing and runing.After 5 seconds came to me and i was thrilled.By God I had never seen such an attractive face before.A little browny skin,long hair that were just lushing around her,normal height a little bit skinny,wearing a cap and long coat.I have never believed in love and that kind of crap but at that movement I wished I had.She just straighten her breaths and said,"I need your help please".I told her that Im a guard and here to help you but she beleived that Im just a punk offering her something.She denied my help and said,"you are lying"I said that I have a gun and showd my ID.She briskly took gun from me and said,"back off"

At the very next movement she was dominating me by holding a gun my guard skills were useless and she told me not to move a single muscle or else she will not hesitate to shoot me.I was scared but the thing that was revolving in my mind was how a soft,beautiful and angel looking girl can be so dangerous.I dared to ask her that whats the matter i can help you if you want to but her emotions were cold as that night.She glanced at me like a witch and i was brutally shaken.I still remember that glance and seriously my head was shooked by it.After hardly 5 minutes suddenly a car came from corner road and I was thinking right she was waiting for someone.She stood steady and checked the gun it was loaded,"Very nice Handsome"she said to me and smiled.I will not lie but all her fierce impressions were gone and i was still looking at her.The car was 80s Ford Thunderbird and she was really expensive and sexy.before they could come out of that car she just started to fire at the glasses and the driver died at that movement I was sad because car was broken but that was not mine but you know we feel sad when we like something and it get broken.

The man from front seat came out and fired at her leg.Oh my God!what a movement I witnessed.She was like supergirl she fought back like a man and kill two of them one that one which fired her and other from backseat.Now situation was critical the other came from backseat while she was looking at her wound.I was hiding from that person because they would kill me at no time.The man approached her and brutally kicked her at her back and revolver was at his control now.I was willing to help that girl because she just impressed me really.I took the wooden block and gave a hard hit to that guy and girl abruptly took the gun from that guy's hand and fired two shots straight at head and pointed the gun to me.What?I just saved her and she was going to fire and she was smiling ironically.

She said to me;"I can shoot you right now if I want to but you are lucky that I will not but if you give a single piece of word to police I will shoot you at your place.She was totally emotionless at that time.I was imagining that she will say thanks by her beautiful smile but I was not that much fool that i would risk my life for her.

"Ok, ok I promise that i will not tell any thing about tonight what happend"I said.

She moved to me and said get rid of that bodies and car I wasnt expert at that thing but I had to do that night.after completion of everything she just came closer to me and what was the smell of that fragnance Oh my God!

"Thank you very much for saving my life"she said and disappear into that corner road.I was totally stunned.Well after a week when I just entered into my apartment and there was a package waiting for me I just take that cover off and i got a letter and pack of expensive cigraettes.I read the letter and it was from that beautiful lady and she thanked me and said that she was very rude to me that night because of that situation.How good was she.After a month when i was smoking cigarettes in my apartment door bell rang.I just came and looked.How can it be happened?

She was standing at my door I was scared what I had done that she came to my apartment to kill me I just gathered all my courage and opened the door.She was good as before but at that time she was smiling gloriously.I was confused.that night she told me that she came to say thanks me again.I just talked with her quite comfortably at that night because she was looking normal.She told me that she works dirty.She kill people,robs shops.I was astonished by that thing.She didnt look like that.She was linked to one of the biggest notorious family of that mafia which i knew something about that.They had links to one of the biggest political party in the country.In short she just had a bottle of beer and at the door she gave me a kiss.

"You are sweet",She said.

"Take care",i replied.

"I do"

Then she was gone.After many days when I was somehow upset and stressed she came.This time we went to dinner and that was a memorable night and the best night I had in my life.She confessed that she fell in love with me and that sunday I went to church and thanked God.We did so many things that were not just hard to say but maybe wrong.My bed had the habbit to have her every weekend.I felt these days that I am one of the biggest lucky stupid in the world.When you are in love you look everything beautifully and so did I.My sunsets were magical.My mornings were fresh.My thoughts were clear.Who stupid says that love is nothing.That time all love i had was because of her.Love is a feeling that can force you to do everything.I became fearless for her.I didnt see much New York but because of her we went ot everywhere we could go.Surely in love you become strong.

She told me that she had a rough background and her parents were murdered at train station.She was just 7 years old at that time.Then she went to school.After completing school she didnt have much money to study in college so she worked at bar.One night some drunkards came to her and pushed into car some people tried to save her but they killed two people and then everyone was silent.who cares.They raped her and they were from that mafia family.She started to work for them.She became wealthy she had everything she needed.

One night after sex when I was smoking I tried to convince her to leave the family and we will run to mexico and will live a beautiful life .She said that this is not possible.Then she went away.Then week was without her and I was dying to meet her but I didnt know her place.After two weeks when I was quite depressed she came to me and that was like the first night we had sex.What a joy and pleasure that was.She was looking like a goddess,looking like a golden girl.After lightning cigarette,she looked at me with helpless eyes and said that she is trying her best to get rid of that shit.At that moment I felt pity for her that such a lovely girl is unable to do what she wants.

"I have to go now"She said.

"plz stay here"I tried to convince her.

But she was so disturbed at that time that she didnt say goodbye and give me that kiss that she used to give me at the door.I was broken earlier and after getting her situation i was much upset.Thats natural.When you are in love you remain sad many of times.how helpless I was.After spending two days she came to my house and said that I have made arrangements for us and tomorrow we will be moving to Chicago to start a new life.She surprised me.She was making arrangements without telling me because i said to her.How sweet was she.I just hugged her for 5 minutes and that night she cried a lot and tried to solace her but she was mentally tortured by these guys that she couldnt stop crying.After a lot of tears she was normal.

"Everything will be alright"I said.

Despite saying anything she just moved her arms towards me and grasped me tightly.That night sleeps wasnt good for me so i just smoked a pack of cigarettes and thinking about her that how harshly she came into my life and now I cant imagine a life without her.I did packing that night and i was much happy that i will start a new life with her in new city and I will be marrying her tomorrow.The thought of marriage was quite wonderful and magical.I remembered old days when my mom and dad used to make love and i was little.That life was so beautiful.

I didnt sleep whole night but morning was fresh and i was so fresh.She booked the tickets and she told me to come at Cortlandt Alley at 9.I went there and waited straight for 1 hour.I was quite afraid that if she was spotted runing she would get killed.I felt so helpless that time that I cant do such a thing to save her because i was nothing at that time.After 1 hour I saw her coming with a small handbag.She told me that that she was totally cautious so thats why she was late.Anyhow we took the bus and that time I felt relief.She was happy too but she said that we need to be careful because they have men everywhere.Anyhow we just managed to get to Chicago station.

We went to hotel we and that was quite tough work because they were so expensive but thanks to her she collected enough money in years.That day was super romantic.She just take off my clothes like her husband.that day her body smelt like a fine rose like a grown rose.She was naked and that was feeling me like im with greek goddess.We made love.We made love.We made love.After that night we dressed for wedding and she was looking queen.At church I entered like I have conquered the British empire.

We were ready that suddenly I dont know from where five men came and just made the church silenced.She lokoked me like it was time to go.We tried to run but they shoot me in leg and that immense pain floated my body.

"Come on,lady where do you think you were going?"

"I am not coming" she replied.

"Ok then"After that they shooted her like animals two bullets in head two in chest.

Oh my Goodness! she was gone for forever.Her white wedding dress was completely stained with red blood and her eyes were looking at me.That was horrible scene I with my shot leg went to her and cried at her chest as long as i could.She didnt deserved that.They killed her so harshly.She was everything for me and now my everything was nothing.I remained one month in hospital and two months in mental hospital.I was a patient of attacks that caused depression,anxiety and stress.After releasing I went to her grave.her grave was beautiful like her.White board Jesus on the top.

I started drugs and in my dreams i saw her everynight.I used to see her after I take my every shot of drugs.

"We will meet again"She used to say.

"Im sorry" she say everytime and disappear.

After that situation police that was surrounding around the city because they thought im some kind of criminal they put again on mental hospital. and she was still there.After many years i remained in there and one day when i was released i took a heavy shot.

I was crossing main road and in the middle she came and said come here i just rushed at her and truck hit me hard and in 2 hours I was declared dead.

You know love is powerful but destructive too.It can kill us.