Broken

He asked the woman that he called everything, “Do you still love me?” She spoke, but her words were muffled by a heavy rain. His knees buckled from the weight of a thousand moons crushing his essence. The thought of her saying no frightened him. They have been together for 15 years. All he could think was “what's going to happen now?”.

A few hours have passed and his bags are packed. Moving out of his house that he has shared for the past 15 years just seems crazy. He planned to stay with a friend until he can find his own place. He called into work and told his boss that he needs a few days off to figure things out. His boss gave him time off and told him he understands what he is going through. After taking his things to his friend's house he headed to his favorite bar. It’s a small bar in the middle of town. Inside there are two pool tables that are occupied. There is no one sitting at the bar so he walks over there and sits down at the end. He orders a shot of whiskey. The whiskey burns down his throat and warms his empty stomach. The bartender can tell that something is bothering him but he just pores him another shot and walks to the other end of the bar. Even though the loneliness is slowly killing him he is thankful that the bartender didn't ask any questions. Being in his own mind can be haunting sometimes. Tonight is one of those times. The only thing going through his head is "what went wrong?". All the memories start rushing back. The day he met her. The day they bought their first place together. The day he knew she was the one. The day he bought the ring. The day he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. She was crying happy tears and said yes without even thinking. How did she feel like then and then decide to end everything 15 years later. What went wrong?

Four hours at the bar and 20 drinks later he stubbles out. The walk back to his friend's house is quiet. The roads are empty. His old house is right down the road from his friend’s. As he passes the house he sees a car in the driveway. One that he has never seen before. Through the window he can see a man with his soon to be ex wife. They are hugging and laughing. She looks as happy as she did when he first met her. Seeing her smile and her eyes light up made him realize he hasn't seen her like that in a few years. He realized he was the problem. He wasn't making her happy anymore. How was he blinded? How could he not see that she wasn’t happy? Maybe this split will be good. Even though he is sad that he lost the person that he loves more than anything in the world, he has to tell himself that everything will be okay. Like his mom always said “everything happens for a reason.”

The next few months are hard. There are so many papers to sign. After they are all signed and taken care of, the divores will be finalized. He has gotten out of his funk. He found his own place on the other side of town so he doesn't run into his ex wife and her new person. She came clean while with the lawyers. She told him that she wasn't having an affair but she did meet someone. They were friends. They grew closer and they were growing apart. She didn't realize she was falling in love with this new guy until she was with her mother and found out that the same thing happened to her. She never knew why her mother and father got a divorce until now. She said she was sorry for not ending it sooner so there would be less hurt. He thought she was crazy for saying that and stormed out of the room. After a few minutes he came back and they talked more. Now they don’t talk at all. They have fully grown apart. He isn’t part of her life anymore. When he got his promotion at work she was the first person he wanted to call. He couldn’t though. She isn’t his person anymore. He can’t call her the love of his life anymore. He is by himself and broken now. Even though he is broken he knows that something good is going to come along at some point. He will be ready for whoever comes in his life. He will be ready to make someone else happy and keep them happy.