Broken Hands

The windows are down and the music is up, we've all been there. Warm day, wind against our faces, and then something caught our eye. A shoe. One single shoe on the shoulder of the road. Sometimes I stare and wonder and other times I barely glance at it. But this one caught my attention. It's a winter boot! In the middle of an 80-degree day?!? Why? How? Can no one explain this?

Well, until now I sure as hell couldn't but I can now. It was all so silly really, because she knew. She knew I wasn't secure and yet she went along her day and routine without giving it another thought. As soon as I felt it, I knew. I knew I was losing her. It couldn't have happened on a nicer day. Like I said earlier, warm day, windows down, and her music was up.

Normally, I'm shy, only coming out when it is safe to be seen, not everyone approves of me, but she does and from the moment she picked me up I was in love. Her energy, her adventures, and her spirit. No one could or would ever replace me. She did try, I didn't take it personally, but she always came back. I made her feel safe, comfortable, and confident. I wouldn't allow her to feel anything else.

My eyes are closed, I'm out in the open, against her soft skin, and the music is a comfortable vibration throughout the car. We just got done with our lake walk, my favorite trail in the park. She always stops for photos and this gives me time to come out and enjoy the view. I love it when we're doing waterfall hikes. The sound of the water...I'm getting off track. These hikes are now memories because I'm lost.

That last day in the car, I felt it. I felt my weight shift and the protective hands let go of their grip and I began sliding down her soft skin that was slick with sweat from our hike just as I was about to fall into her lap a strong breeze came and sent me flying. I yell but it is useless, she doesn't stop, I'm gone in the wind and as quickly as I fly away I hit the ground, hard.

I'm not broken just hurt and lost. I have no idea where I'm at and I'm not sure I want to know. The smell is horrible and the feeling is rough, I could open my eyes but why, I'm no longer with her she's gone, miles by now and doesn't even know where I'm at and never will. There is a dull vibration under me, I have no idea what it is but I know it's not music.

There is roughness under me, it hurts, and it feels like dirt, I'm not going to open my eyes, I can't and I won't. I don't want to know what my future is, like that boot, sitting alongside the road, lost forever never to be found or returned to their owner. See, this is karma I often laughed with her about the story behind those lost items and now I AM one of those lost items. I can't, I won't go on like this. I would rather die than be with another...whoa!!!

What was that? I just went sliding across the rough ground. A rough ground that has cushioning? Rubber? Oh God, I'm in a dirty van, I was thrown into a dirty van and I'm with someone who takes corners way too fast. I'm on the dirt floor being tossed around like a rag doll, one minute I'm enjoying the breeze and now I'm amongst the garbage, this is so...what is that?!?

There is a thumping next to me. All of these questions would be answered if I would just open my eyes and look around but why would I do that? I'm in a dirty van!!! A van with a bad driver, probably a serial killer, I guess I did what I always said I do and that's keep her safe. You would think she would do everything she could to keep me safe. But no, the look is more important than safety. Amazon! She could have ordered a replacement from Amazon, which would have kept me safe but no, the puppy needed food so that came first! Even though I was here first.

Now I'm in a dirty van with a serial killer, who can't drive, and is looking for victims, who take corners too fast. Well, I hope you're happy and safe while I ... now what?!? I just slid forward under something, he hit the breaks and now...stop!!! I'm sliding backward what are we going in reverse? What the hell is he doing what am I going to hear, open you're eyes damn it open them!!!

We've stopped the door is opening, and I hear movement around me, oh God, he found his victim. That's why he was driving so bad he went back for them and now he's going to get them. I could get out now and become a part of the shoulder but I would have to open my eyes to see where I'm going but I can't, I won't open my...

"Oh! There you are!"

Wait, I know that voice. Please don't let this be a crude joke. I snap my eyes open and she's there, above me, reaching down with her sun-kissed fingers gently picking me up and placing me in a cool cloth to wash away the dirt and stress of the day. I, uh, I never left her. I was on the floor of her car the whole time and she came for me, looked for me. See, I knew it all along she had my best interest in her heart.

Oh, she's drying me off, smiling, her touch is gentle, warm, comforting and I feel her slide me back onto the...wait, what?!? You're putting me on the same strand that let me fall that put me through hell!!! What is wrong with you?!? Why? Why? Why? Get a new one, you cheapskate. It can be done for less than $10, you're a Prime Member, free overnight shipping!!! Get a new...

*sigh* I'm now back against her soft skin. She gives me a kiss for luck and love she says. *sigh* Until the hands break away again, I'll just enjoy each moment I'm next to her...and maybe stay in the shadows when the windows are down.

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