Beyond You

"I can't help but wonder if the sadness I would experience without you would be less than the sadness I feel from being with you.” This thought kept lingering in his head, every day and night. Alex couldn't escape the weight of his own thoughts, constantly replaying memories and wondering if he should stay.

Weeks passed, and he knew they were not happy. Finally, Joe told him “I’m afraid I met someone. I’d like to see where that goes.” They hadn’t been happy for a while, but this? This Alex couldn't forgive.

He packed his bags without saying a word, and as he was leaving, in tears, while he was holding the door handle, said. “You were supposed to be my person. The rules, your stupid rules, applied to us but you broke them with everyone else. You call yourself free but in reality, you're just scared. Scared of commitment, scared of letting yourself go, scared of feeling attached to someone. So go ahead, keep your freedom. You'll never hear from me again." He closed the door, with his bag in hand. He didn't know what to expect next. In reality, he had no one, no one but his significant other, his once upon a time.

He proceeded to the first hotel he was in, left his belongings and immediately headed to the phone company to change his number. He also changed his email and took necessary measures to ensure Joe could find him.

He walked aimlessly for hours, his mind consumed with thoughts of what could have been. He had thought they were perfect for each other, but now he couldn't help but feel like he was nothing more than an inconvenience to them. As he walked, he realized that he had never truly known himself outside of this relationship. He had lost himself in the pursuit of their happiness, neglecting his own needs and desires. Like a child he pushed away his family, his friends, and everyone close, to give his partner all his attention and his time, even when he knew it wasn’t right, even when he knew it wasn’t mutual.

Alex found himself constantly reminded of his old love. The city they once shared, despite being disliked by his partner, seemed to echo with memories of their time together. Even the café where they would spend hours talking and the park where they fell in love every day, now felt like a cruel reminder of what was lost. It was hard for him to come to terms with how something so beautiful could come to such an abrupt end. He felt a mix of emotions - anger, sadness, and confusion. He knew that he had done nothing wrong, that he had loved his partner wholeheartedly and had given him the space he needed. Despite this, he couldn't shake off the feeling of heartbreak and loss.

He made a conscious effort to prioritize his own happiness and well-being. He began to explore new interests and stumbled upon singing, which he found himself to be quite talented in. Despite people suggesting he was too old to start a new hobby, especially singing, he remained excited. He realized that music was his way of connecting with others and himself.

As he pursued this newfound passion, he reconnected with old friends and met new people, discovering parts of himself that he had long forgotten. He came to understand that while time didn't necessarily heal the pain of losing someone, it did help him to become used to the idea of it. He found that the love and support of people, friends, pets, and most importantly, himself, were the key to healing.

Soon, the old park, the café, and the city that were once painful reminders of his lost love became symbols of Alex's resilience and growth. The old park now represented the moment he decided to prioritize his health and start exercising, the café was where he met his best friend, and the city was filled with new memories and experiences that helped him move forward.

Weeks and months passed and he began to feel a sense of freedom that he had never experienced before. He realized that he didn't need anyone else to define him, that he was capable of standing on his own two feet and creating his own happiness.