Beyond His Control

Anthony scrolled through the pictures on his phone and wondered why he hadn’t taking more when he had had the chance. Pictures of how the world used to be, one in particular always got to him, it was of himself and five of his high school friends standing on a peer, the sunshine gleaming on their hair, smiles beaming without a care in the world. A knot thickened in his throat, when he remembered he would never see any of them again, not even the sun. He missed the wind and the rain, seeing new faces as he walked down the boulevard. The world was now just this bunker, and he shared it with precisely one thousand people.

There were other bunkers in the world, each with its own one thousand residents, but there was no way to communicate with them, not for the average people anyway. Bunker officials communicated with other bunker officials through a limited form of the internet, but they had yet to extend that privilege to citizens for private use. Now his phone was just a glorified photo album that had to be charged. He couldn’t play games or text without the internet, and there wasn’t much point in taking more pictures because everything was just gray and drab as if color was somehow a luxury that took up too much space.

His life had once been so extravagant. He grew up in a mansion. He had servants that prepared gourmet food for him, and he ate it on porcelain plates as the California sun lit up the dining room. Every week there was something new, it seemed, a new movie or a new video game, and he and his friends discussed the latest craze in hallways before class as the girls walked by wearing the latest fashions. There were vivid colors everywhere. There were trees, beaches, malls, arcades, and countless other things that he would never see again.

He thought of everything he had once taken for granted as he pulled out a chain around his neck. He toyed with the heart shaped locket that it bore. He kept it hidden underneath his shirt, pulling it out only in moments of quiet reflection. He missed Katrina. To think, she was gone along with everything else.

A year ago, everything was fine. Life was just this ordinary but splendid thing. Then scientists determined that there would be a massive solar flare that would wipe out most of the population instantly and render earth inhabitable. The world had six months to prepare. Of course, at first only the government and the scientists that discovered it knew. Then once they realized that the calamity was unavoidable, they got even more scientists, engineers, architects, and financial backers together to figure out how to save the most people. The plan was to build a series of bunkers and the families of the people that helped to create them would be allowed to live in them. Anthony’s father was one of the richest men in the country, as he owned a chain of mega supercenters, and he was able to finance the building of one of the bunkers thus securing the survival of his family.

No one else Anthony knew had been so lucky. He had gone to a private school filled elite children, but none of them had come from families rich enough to secure a place in one of the bunkers. The government waited until a month before it was to happen before it informed the public about what was going to happen. Information about the impending doom had leaked months earlier, but few people actually believed it, they just wrote it off as a conspiracy theory. What followed was insane. At first, it seemed like people were divided into two camps: people that didn’t want to believe the world was going to end and rioters that seemed determined to destroy the world early. The police and military were brought to stop the rioters, but that only went so far considering so few people wanted to work through the last month of their lives including many police officers and military soldiers. Though the funny thing was that many civilians stepped in and stopped the rioters, in part because they knew it was the right thing to do, and partly to feel something other than complete powerlessness.

As the month progressed, people dealt with their grief. Accusations that it was all some miscalculation on the part of some crackpot scientists turned into public displays of deep sentiment. During that week Anthony saw every emotion he could think of demonstrated in every public forum he could think of. The people willing to venture out of their houses, held hands, touched, and kissed one another, some people openly cried, while others became furious at the slightest provocation. Youtube was flooded with videos, people lamented their regrets, mostly of things they wish they had done when they had the chance, others gave eulogies, discussing the beauty of the life they had lived, their love for their friends and families, some inspired hope with their depictions of the afterlife, many encouraged people to pray for a last-minute solution.

There were some videos in which the speaker ranted that the government should do more to save the lives of regular people. Anthony agreed that he wanted to see more people spared, but he couldn’t think of any solutions, and he noted that the speakers in the videos didn’t offer any practical solutions. He couldn’t blame them though, no one wanted to die, life all of sudden became so precious and so sweet. Schools were closed, as diplomas and degrees no longer mattered. He would get together with his friends, and he sit quietly as he listened to them talk. Some of them figured out that his family was rich enough to afford a spot on the bunker. Anthony felt his heart rip in two when they brought it up. He’d neither confirm or deny, he’d just sit there red faced and speechless.

It wasn’t long before they knew for sure. Michael got completely bent out of shape about it, he called Anthony every synonym for “elitist pig” you could think of, and the argument came to blows. Anthony could still feel the black eye that Michael gave him that day. Maybe he deserved it, he wasn’t sure, it certainly seemed like a small price to pay considering the circumstance. Some of his other friends were angry, but they weren’t as hostile as Michael. Most of them just stopped talking to him. Two friends, Jeremy and Josiah, stayed by his side. They assured him it wasn’t his fault, and they knew if it was up to Anthony, they both would have a place in the bunker. He spent a lot of time with those guys, playing somber games of basketball together, watching their favorite movies again, and sometimes just talking about the good ole days when they all thought they had futures.

Then there was Katrina. Before the catastrophe, Katrina was just a girl that sat in the second row three seats down in Mrs. Taylor’s English class. He had noticed her because she was a cute, bubbly girl in a sea of similarly cute and bubbly girls. Two weeks before the dreaded date, Katrina found him on Facebook and started to text with him. At first, they were just friendly texts with flirty overtones, but then it became apparent that Katrina wanted to experience as much as possible in the short time she had left, and she really wanted to experience those things with Anthony.

They arranged to meet in the woods. He saw her pull up in her car, the door opened, Katrina’s legs dressed in summer shorts made their debut followed by the rest of her body. Then he saw her long auburn hair and her face, rueful with a smile that he remembered once being so bright.

He walked up to her and said, “hi.” He felt his Adam's apple bob up and down in his throat.

“Hi,” she answered back, giving him a shy smile, and then looking down at her feet.

The gravity of the situation was not lost on either of them, as they stood there staring at each other, it hit Anthony that this beautiful, teenaged girl wouldn’t even be alive a month from then. Yet there she was in front of him now, so full of life even if it was mixed with apprehension and despair.

“Pretty crazy, what’s going on,” Katrina said, one of them getting the nerve to speak.

“No kidding,” Anthony said, failing to sound light-hearted.

Katrina laughed anyway. “I usually don’t do stuff like this,” she said, “Under the circumstances...”

“I get it,” Anthony said, “I totally do.” He watched as she brightened, but then her smile faded and she once again took an interest in staring at her shoe laces. He knew he had to get her mind off of what was going to happen, “Stop being so attractive, or I’m going to have to kiss you.”

Katrina giggled, “I guess you’re going to have to kiss me then!”

Anthony reached behind Katrina’s back and scooped her up closer to him and kissed her, and he could feel her relax in his arms.

That afternoon they found a hidden spot, and they made love surrounded by the beauty of the woods. Anthony wished he could have done a little better for Katrina, but he knew his parents wouldn’t approve, and it would have been awkward anyway. He just hoped that what he was giving her was good enough. After that they met every chance that got, they started enjoying each other’s company so much that they began to forget what was going to happen.

Until it was inevitable. The flare was fated to happen on Saturday, and Anthony’s family was to board the bunker on the Wednesday morning prior to it happening. He spent those last precious hours with Katrina on the Tuesday night before. They now had a favorite spot in woods, and they walked to it, and sat and cuddled with each other. They were silent for the longest time.

Then Katrina broke the silent, “So, I guess you’re all packed up.”

“Yeah,” Anthony said, “I’m thinking about not going.”

“What, no, you have to.”

“What’s the use? What’s going to be left, everyone I...”

“No, you need to do it, do it for me, you can remember me, and I’ll live on.”

Anthony hadn’t thought of it that way, but said, “I still don’t feel right about this. It’s just wrong, I don’t deserve to live any more than anyone else.”

“I want you to live,” she said, “let that be enough.” She sat up for a moment and went into the purse and pulled out the locket. “I know it’s probably not your style, but I didn’t have anything more manly.”

Anthony held the locket in his hand, and Katrina motioned for him to open it. He did and he saw her picture inside.

“See, it will help you remember me better,” Katrina said.

Anthony smiled, “I’ll wear it every day, Katrina, I’d do anything to save you, I really would.”

She nodded; he knew she knew he was telling the truth.