As You Are

I let out a soft sigh when I my car door behind me. I've moved for work before, but this new postion carries more weight for me.

I make eye contact with the dark-haired man standing near the main door.

Aaron Hotchner was once my brother-in-law, but even after his and Haley's divorce and ultimately her death, he'll always be family.

He grew up next door and has been around for my whole life. Even before he and my sister started dating as teens, he'd always come over with snacks and games to share with all three of us Brooks girls.

A rare smile creeps upon his serious face, and he reaches out to take the large cardboard box I was carrying from my hands and welcomes me with a hug. "Aurilee, how are you?"

I look up at the building in front of us. FBI headquarters in Quantico. The real deal.

"I'm nervous. Working here feels like a lot bigger of a deal than San Antonio."

"You've handled this job for years. You're going to be a great addition to our team. The way we catch criminals might be different, but your job will be more or less the same."

I take a deep breath and respond with a slow nod. Aaron hands me my new credentials, and we scan them to get through the doors.

I'm taking over Agent Jennifer Jareaus's job as the BAU's communications' liaison while she completes her field training to be a profiler. I spent a year in San Diego holding the communications position before spending two years in San Antonio as a field agent.

Today I'm here at headquarters after taking three months off because of a sobriety relapse. It's been some time since I've seen action, and Aaron and I decided it's probably best to stay behind the scenes for a little while.

I want to make sure I adjust well. I can't make stupid mistakes like I usually do.

I've struggled with painkillers since I was young. I was 16 when I was in a car accident with my father. He lost control of the wheel, and we crashed into a tree, shattering my pelvis and my right collarbone.

My dad walked away without a scratch.I didn't find out until I came to that he'd been drunk.

His negligance forced me to endure three months in hospital. Then I spent the better part of two years relearning how to walk and run.

At first, the painkillers helped with the unbearable pain caused by countless invasive surgeries on my back and legs. Then after a while, they started to numb the mental pain of it all.

My world was put on pause. My sisters came to see me when they could, but they were both already away at college. My dad tried to act like he had nothing to do with the accident, and he never came to visit. I spent months in the hospital by myself.

My sole company was my thoughts, and none of them were too kind to me. Being high was the only time I wasn't thinking about the accident. The only time I was thinking about anything actually, and it was a treat I enjoyed having.

Now twelve years later, at the age of twenty-eight, I'm still hooked. It hasn't escaped me. I don't think it ever will, but I'm learning how to adjust.

I'm staying with Aaron and my nephew Jack while I get settled into the city. My other sister Jessica lives in the city and often helps with Jack, so it'll be nice to see her more often.

We exit the elevator and he leads me toward his office.

"The rest of the team will be here in an hour - you can meet them then. Your office is two doors down from this one. JJ left her pile of pending cases on the desk, take this file it's the case we're going to be aiding with next." Straight to business.

I grab the papers from him and take a quick look around the room. There are still so many pictures of Haley.

I carry a piece of my sister with me every day, and I know how bad it hurts to miss her, but I can't even imagine the burden it carries on Aaron. He loved her with everything he had; he always has. She and Jack were his glimmer of happiness outside of this gruesome job we share. I'm not surprised he copes by burying himself in his work.

I turn to walk out and am almost out the door when Aaron stops me. "Aurilee," he says "I'm really glad you're here."

I smile, "I'm happy to be here too. Thank you for always looking out for me." I could never say it enough to him. He's the reason I'm on my feet. I don't know where I'd be if he wasn't around.

He gives me a small nod and I head into the hallway.

The plaque on the door to my office already says my name. 'Aurilee Brooks. Communications Liasion".

I set my box on the desk and open the case file Aaron gave me. We were invited to Salt Lake City, Utah, so I start the process of calling their station so they can be prepared for our arrival.

I take deep breaths throughout my tasks. I want to be mindful and not stress myself out too quickly.

After relapsing, I shouldn't have a spot in the FBI anymore, but Aaron's taking a chance on me. I'm damn good at my job when I'm in my right frame of mind. I just need to keep my performance as my forefront thought.

I'm a little over a month sober now. Aaron wouldn't let me start until I hit that milestone.

He pulld strings to get my record expunged, so my problems are only between him and me.

Not even Strauss, the unit chief, knows much about my history besides the fact that I'm the sister of Aaron's dead ex-wife, and that is a whole nutshell on its own.

I think I'm going to like it here though. Aaron's always talked highly about his team as agents and as people. This is going to be a step in the right direction for me.

I watched Aaron join the academy when I was fifteen and knew then that I wanted to do the same thing. He'd come home to visit with amazing stories of training on crime scenes and the criminals he got to study. He had me hooked on every word.

After high school, he and my sister helped put me through college and sat in their living room with me for hours when I was sending in my applications to the academy. My job started because of Aaron, and the only reason I have my job is because of him.

I owe him everything, and that's what I'll put into this team.