American Moods

I raced through the front door like in one of those cop movies where they are chasing a Mexican through someone's house and he's a quick little fucker (that's why he's a Mexican cause he can run) run run run right through the front room and straight down the hallway through the lounge and straight out to the back porch

"Janelle Janelle," I scream like a banshee! I quickly told her once again how I had written a short story for this competition" and she looked at me all and said "Yeah and?"

"And you'll never fuckin guess fuckin what? What? What? I won I Fuckin Won!!!! That's fuckin what!" Then she was screaming louder than me then the bloody kids came in.

"What? What? What? I won! What!" No point keeping it quiet anymore "woohoo woohoo woohoo woohoo woohoo woohoo woohoo woohoo," we all screamed easy twenty or thirty more times after that.

"Pack your best and your worst clothes" I told my family as they assembled before me awaiting instructions, Zac sixteen year old male (of course it matters), Zoe fifteen year old girl (although she looks like The Cure - she hates it when we say that! ) and little twelve year old Evelyn, (the brains of the bunch trust me!).

Janelle had already got our suitcases off the top of the wardrobe in our room and dragged them out the back to dust out any cobwebs or whatever, it had been years since they were last used whenever ago.

"What? What What, Nothing," I said,

Janelle blurted it out "Your dad won that comp where a film guy writes for you, right honey?"

"No sweetness, he writes a screenplay based on the story I wrote that won the competition and then he films it and it's either good or it's just another turkey..." I told them, spewing that the kids were now in on it. We could have sneaked around and done all sorts of shifty shit without them knowing but not now...they coming with us and it was right then that one of them said something about school

"Fuck school, you'll learn more in LA in a day than you will at school in a fuckin month!" I say confidently "Fuck school ay! Besides what do they say about following your good fortune or have it following you?" they all cheered even the dog barked - We'd have to get her euthanized before we left. (Lol - and the story seemed to be going so well - we are not putting any dogs down! - they don't even have a dog! I was just seeing if you were concentrating).

Evelyn had a guinea pig in a pen in the backyard "Esmerelda is coming as well" she said with the sure confidence of a clever twelve year old "No she isn't" screamed the trouble and strife at the bread and water. I shook my head and just sat there stunned (no...I didn't tell you how I came to be sitting here of all places in this story now did I? And I'm not going to either, and you know why?, Because...), sitting: we'd need a guinea pig sitter for two weeks, someone in to water the plants and stop the letter box piling up.

Eight days later and we have a suite in a half decent four star hotel in West Hollywood. It's a real greasy movie star look at me I'm in Grand Theft Auto type of out your body while still in it experience, but pretty swish really. Say what you want about the USA, but nothing comes close to actually being there. It's like a snappy postcard version of a spiritual experience with twenty four hour everything. And once you're there you aint anywhere else anyhow!

Our rooms open out onto an almost private entrance to the communal pool so technically just less than a quarter of it is pretty much ours exclusively. A high vine encrusted brick wall stands between the pool and carpark which is in turn separated from the Santa Monica Boulevard by yet another large vines encrusted brick wall. The whole pool area is quite broad and expansive with the right amount of poolside clutter and furniture and indeed a deal maker for this particular suite. The kids have barely been out of the pool since we got here yesterday just after lunch, I mean they fed us on the plane, sangas and coke and we landed and they said it was lunch. And the irony is; we travel half way round the world and they choose an activity that they do at home every day - kids ay!

Zac is bombing Evelyn with great relish, she just hovers the edge so he can't miss and Zac filled with all that testy spunk and boyhood bravado just bombs the shit out of her. He doesn't know any better he's just hormone driven bag of teenage bones and desires. Besides Evelyn's mock outrage is in direct balance to the fun she is having and this in turn spurs Zac on to bigger splashes and so much more fake tut tut tutting for anyone feigning even mild disinterest at this stage.

Zoe is laying in a deck chair in the gothiest cozzy she could find, its black with black tassels and even the ties are black, it's the blackest! She is trying so hard not too enjoy this swimming pool half a world away from her own pool at home. She looked out of place there - she looks out of place here, Her black lipstick and nail polish clashes with the gaudy tropical motif of the motels pool area, Zoe pretty much clashes with anything in life she meets, loves, confronts or hates! Fifteen going on twenty one! But...she is just coming to terms with the fact that two hundred yards down the street, the next suburb to this one is in fact Beverly Hills, she might be anti class anti-system, anti-social, anti-anti, she is all girl inside and that girl is her Mummas girl alrighty and there are not many women immune to a Rodeo Drive shopping trip! SMILEY, keep an eye on this little dynamic as it plays out I'm not even sure! But one thing I do know is that Mumsys gonna be her bestie for the nextie ten days or so!

Evelyn is like a duck, first sign of water and quack quack. She's in like Flynn. Jumping diving splashing swimming, getting bombed by her brother, just having fun in the LA sun. Yes, she was named after the Frank Zappa song - J and I both loved the name and it stuck. She could have been a modified dog, but yet another highly ambient domain.

"Arf" she said!

Janelle is lazing back on the sun couch enjoying the cold drinks and the nothing to do; a lot. She has her home cozzy on but I'm sure a new one will take it's place as soon as the shops open tomorrow. A bar fridge full of exotic pre-mixed beverages and not having to cook not even a piece of toast appeals to Janelle a lot! Mmmmmm I murmur to myself, a very happy Janelle in a hot, new Beverly Hills cozzy in a booze fueled, location induced, sultry West Hollywood frame of mind appeals to me a lot...! It's so much fun and way too easy to get caught up in an American mood.

And me, pretty much the same same - lazing back on a poolside recliner, cold beverage in hand - a real Ahhhhhhh moment. I hear the traffic on the main road outside, it's peak hour those poor bastards are doing it in thirty eight degrees (100 f). The sun beams down relentlessly, it gets in your skin in your eyes in your brain and with the slowest of burns. I sit up and with sincerity in my heart, I raise my glass to the drivers,

"Safe journeys fellow travelers, safe journeys!" I say out aloud. Yes, I am at that stage drunk and will be turning my phone off in a minute. My family looks at me like I'm weird but then they do that all the time anywhere I am.

I drain my glass and head in to the suite for another, this is pretty good, this is pretty fuckin chill, soft robes, piped music, plush carpets and complimentary chocolates, fruits and wines. All signed off by Mr. T himself, this is pretty good, two hundred years later and only thing left wild about this west is the sun!

I freshen the alcoholic bevies first, Janelle was down to ice and was very thankful for a top up. I got the kids a coke each from the fridge inside, and I have counted them, we have four fridges. I lean with my left shoulder against the doorway to the pool. Condensation from my drink drips through my fingers on an unending course. I'm looking out to the sun as she prepares herself for the evening, unaware of my gaze she loosens her smalls. I don't know if it was the temperature or the angle of the sun or even my physical position on the globe but I feel really good for the first time in a very long time, I feel good all the way to the centre of my bones, I feel elated.