A Plague Of Haiku

Introduction

It started from virtually nothing, people were fine and thought there was absolutely nothing wrong. Life was fine and dandy and everything was great.

Then Day By Day

People saw the Haiku and thought it was cute, lovely and cuddly like the Tribbles in Star Trek. Everyone had to have one, and one was never enough, they always had to have one more.

Once they were rare tiny things of cuteness and beauty, but now they were everywhere. You could not avoid them.

You opened a cupboard door and Haiku fell out, You went on a bus and couldn't get a seat they were covered in Haiku.

What Was Happening

Haiku were once precious things but now they were overrunning the world, you could not walk without having to be careful not to trip over them, even on a trip to your local shop. Haiku were everywhere.

There were calls for extermination squads to cull them, but there were bigger calls from the public to protect, keep and even promote Haiku.

The only escape was to leave the towns and cities and go out into the deserted hills and valleys. Haiku needed people to exist. Where there were no people there were no Haiku, but if you were a person trying to escape you know that as sure as eggs is eggs the haiku would follow and find you.

You would go to sleep surrounded by Haiku, and Haiku would wake you up. They were in your coffee pot and your fridge, the oven was crammed with Haiku so you couldn’t actually cook anything. Food was cold sandwiches but there were Haiku in the bread bin as well.

At Work

Offices, Filing Cabinets and Meeting Rooms were overrun with Haiku, and if you managed to make room and a desk Haiku were still crowding and distracting you. Eventually, people just couldn't go to their offices and tried to work from home, and the Plague of Haiku was just getting worse and showing no sign of abating.

Someone once said if it weren’t for spiders we would be twenty feet deep in insects in two weeks, and there were no spider equivalents to cull the rising tide of Haiku, though the general public would probably cull the predators rather than the Haiku.

It Is Not Going To Stop

I do remember the time before the plague when you could walk out, and have time and room to do what you wanted and needed, but bow every action of every minute of every day was always accompanied by a Haiku.

What are these creatures, and why do people want them so much? You have to be so careful what you say to people, even the police. If you say a bad word about Haiku you could end up behind bars, though you would probably be behind bars with several Haiku.

My room is getting more cramped every day, I think I may have to take a hike out to the hills just so that I can breathe. At lowest in the open air, the Haiku cannot crowd and suffocate you. I haven’t a clue what the answer to this plague is., but I really do someone comes up with a solution, otherwise I have a feeling that I am going to lose my tiny mind.

I have to find a way out of here, away from the Haiku, and into some open space, may then I will be able to rest and get some sleep,

Addendum

The Music is "Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict" sort of manically appropriate for this fiction.