175 Nunsuch — Part 1

Catholics call seven the "Age of Reason," when we're old enough to tell right from wrong; to know when a sin's grievous enough to be a mortal sin--bad enough to go to Hell.

We were taught we're all sinners. Even when we're babies. And Jesus died for our sins.

"Jesus, can you do me a favor?"

Sure.

"Would you die for me?"

Why?

"For my sins."

You're seven.

"Hey, I don't make the rules."

I was talking when she had explicitly instructed, "No talking," so Sister Lillian, my first-grade teacher, slapped the shit out of me while lined up for First Friday Mass.

We were taught making the Sign-of-the-Cross earned three years' "indulgence." The Catechism said it. I could knock three years off my time in Purgatory, which was just as bad as Hell--with all the burning alive stuff--except you leave after you've paid your time.

Ever been burned? Burning hurts. Three years less being burned alive sounded smart.

Instead of recess, I made Signs-of-the-Cross. And then--with holy water--it'd be seven years! Now I dunked my fingers in holy water all recess. I could make 900 Signs-of-the-Cross--over 5,000 years of Purgatory, commuted.

Sweet.

I asked Sister how many years I'd get in Purgatory for a small lie right after I told her a small lie. She told me even a small sin would mean millions of years in Purgatory. I wasn't really into long division to see how many recesses crossing myself were needed for millions of years, but I figured recesses were better spent running with other kids.

"Jesus, how many years off for you dying for my sins?"

Doesn't work like that.

"How's it work?"

Go my way--and there's no arithmetic.

I hated arithmetic. Whatever way Jesus was going, I was following.

I heard Nuns wear wedding rings as Brides of Christ. I also heard that Sister Lillian left the order, got married, and had some kids. Was some type of divorce involved? Divorce is a mortal sin; was she going to Hell?

Suddenly, talking in line wasn't so bad.

Still, I specifically made a single Sign-of-the-Cross for her, to get her three years knocked off. I don't know why.

Maybe it was sarcasm.

__________

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Amen! For Sunday, June 23, Day 175 of the Story-a-Day Challenge

366 WORDS (without A/N)

Title-accompaniment photo was AI-generated but the plenary indulgence was not!

---

There are currently three surviving Vocal writers still participating in the 2024 Story-a-Day Challenge:

• L.C. Schäfer, challenge originator

• Rachel Deeming

• Gerard DiLeo (some other guy)

Read them. Support them. Pray for them. And watch accrue the years off Purgatory!