#169 Retirement Age
For Monday, June 17, Day 169 of the Story-a-Day Challenge
God Almighty sat at his lavish throne room's golden desk. A horn sounded.
"Yes?" he asked Gabriel. "And you shouldn't blow that thing so loud. People below will assume the worst."
"Sorry, Lord. But there's a Lucifer so-and-so here." The supreme being waived his hand, and a swath of Earth experienced a total solar eclipse. A thin, horned man peaked in tentatively.
"Come in, Lu," God offered. Lucifer smiled and approached him.
"Sorry to bother you," he said.
"No, I knew you were coming."
"God knows you knew," Lucifer smirked.
"Ha! Yes! Now, what can I do for you?"
"Well, I've been thinking, you and I, we both work pretty hard for a livin'."
"Indeed!" the Almighty agreed.
"Think anything's changed? I wonder whether I'm even relavent anymore. You know--for them."
"Nonsense."
"You say that, but between you and me, I think the world would be the same if I dropped out of the picture. There're still gonna be wars, famines, inhumanity to humanity, the usual. Can I put in my notice?"
"Retire?"
"I could just try it, y'know."
"What would you do with yourself, Lu? Go fishing? You've got no hobbies. No skills. Whatcha gonna do without the turning-good-people-bad thing?"
"Oh, don't worry 'bout me, your Holiness. I've got plans."
"Plans...nice..."
"You see, Great Father, why should I ever work again? And you! God knows you don't have to work another day in your life."
"I knows I know. And you'd be stopping work for what...eternity?"
"Yea, forever."
"Eternity's longer."
"Even better!" Lucifer shouted.
God Almighty rapped his fingers on his golden desk, and what a noise that made! Everywhere in South America marmoset monkeys ran for cover fearing a ferocious storm.
"What about Hell?"
"To hell with Hell!" Lucifer laughed.
God laughed.
Both laughed.
"OK, OK, take off. Do your thing. Oh, that October 7th attack on Israel and the war after..."
"Don't look at me! I'm off the clock." Lucifer immediately skipped merrily out of God's omnipresence.
I guess it's up to me, God, the Father sighed, producing a fierce nor'easter blowing over Cape Cod. Plans...nice..., he mused. He summoned Gabriel.
"Cancel all my appointments."
"Forever?" Gabriel asked.
"Even longer," God corrected him.
_______________
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
For Monday, June 17 (Happy birthday, Blaise!), Day 168 of the Story-a-Day Challenge
366 WORDS (without A/N)
Title-accompaniment photo was AI-generated (Artificial Inferno) but the myth that you can actually catch fish by fishing was not.
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About the Creator
Gerard DiLeo
Retired, not tired. In Life Phase II: Living and writing from a decommissioned church in Hull, MA. (Phase I was New Orleans and everything that entails. Hippocampus, behave!
https://www.amazon.com/Gerard-DiLeo/e/B00JE6LL2W/
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Comments (6)
Clever! The parts on animals were funny and most enjoyable; the entire piece was great.
"God Almighty rapped his fingers on his golden desk, and what a noise that made! Everywhere in South America marmoset monkeys ran for cover fearing a ferocious storm." That made me laugh so much and also the forever and eternity part hahahahahhahahaha. Loved your story!
The marmoset panic was a nice touch!
Wow nice, superbly written and thought-provoking! So yes, we definitely cannot blame it on Lucifer. Hmm ok, well, humans have been doing their own horrible deeds for centuries. So then even God has realised it's been too much.
Absolutely hilarious, Gerard! It’s Pascal’s birthday! And I didn’t even send him a card!
The author's deft touch in blending humor, poignancy, and metaphysical musings creates a captivating narrative. The author's playful use of language, from the "fierce nor'easter" to the casual "to hell with Hell," infuses the piece with a playful, irreverent charm. Thank you for sharing!
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