103rd Times a Charm
Practice makes perfect… right?
“Clink! Where are we with this?” I hiss quietly, knowing my communicator will pick it up.
“Sorry Boss! This hack is taking a minute,”
“You know I’m the one stuck between two walls, right? We don’t have a minute!” I grump, readying the wall cutters.
“Yup.”
“Yup? The fuck? Clink!”
Silence.
“I swear Clink, if…”
“Got it! Go, now!”
“Fuck!” I swear, but I’m already cutting a person sized hole in the wall.
No alarms sound as I step through, and I wipe the sweat from my brow.
“Pattern, Clink! Your right, my left, like we discussed!” I demand.
My sweat soaks me as Clink walks me through the steps to get over the sensor plated flooring.
“No sweat.” I say as I make it across, sans alarm, snorting at my pun.
“Next?”
“The laser wall is… 3 inches to your left.”
My heart seizes as a blare deafens me. The alarm!
“It might have been 2.5 inches,” Clink gulps.
I turn to run, too late. A hot pinch knocks the breath out of me as a bullet burst from my chest.
Jerking awake, the simulator hums as it winds down. “Clink, run it again! 103rd times a charm!”
About the Creator
Heather Zieffle
I've been writing for a few years, and I'm grateful to have found my passion! I've self-published several sci-fi romance novels on Amazon, but want to branch out into fantasy soon. Any feedback is welcome!
Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insights
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Comments (17)
Dear Heather - Permission to speak freely? You asked for feedback. Are you a Teacher? I'm so far out of the loop but I realize the F' word is totally colloquially accepted, if for no other reason, as a tip of the tongue filler word; it just doesn't get a rise as it once did long ago. But, I see a lot of 'Atta-Girl' comments may disagree. I'm just an adjunct biz law pro-bono professor; giving back to the community. It is never relevant in my arena to do F' fillers; or workable. Not my intent to make a big issue or insult in any way at all: I will delete it in a few moments so not to embarrass. Perhaps you do this as a Fit-In Tactic: Never write for 'Them'...be you, Heather, a very good thing. Please forgive this intrusion. I say this with respect for your marvelous talent even if it weren't F'WordLess. j.in.l.a.
I always enjoy that moment when the reader finds out the significance of the title. Great reveal!
Marvelous work! Keep it going—congrats!
Well done on the T.S.! 😁
lol. This was both intense and well written but also somehow, hilarious at the end. Awesome job. Congrats on TS! Subscribed ;)
Hahahha, that was unexpected. Brilliant. I love how captivating it was, and then surprise! Thank you.
Nice writing!
Very intense... I could hear the tension music playing. Great work building the atmosphere.
Love the momentum! Congrats on TS!
Impressive work with the brief form!
What a delightful and engaging read - so deserving of the TS! WELL DONE!
Great title and micro - I'd read the 104th's attempt!
Simulators!!! Well Done!!! Lovedit!!! Congratulations in T S too!!!❤️❤️💕
Wow,the story is very interested and awesome
Oh, how cool!! I loved the surprise at the end. This was such an engaging read :) Congratulations on Top Story!!
Congratulations on your Top Story
And around it goes again, love the concept