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103rd Times a Charm

Practice makes perfect… right?

By Heather Zieffle Published about a year ago Updated 5 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - June 2023

“Clink! Where are we with this?” I hiss quietly, knowing my communicator will pick it up.

“Sorry Boss! This hack is taking a minute,”

“You know I’m the one stuck between two walls, right? We don’t have a minute!” I grump, readying the wall cutters.

“Yup.”

“Yup? The fuck? Clink!”

Silence.

“I swear Clink, if…”

“Got it! Go, now!”

“Fuck!” I swear, but I’m already cutting a person sized hole in the wall.

No alarms sound as I step through, and I wipe the sweat from my brow.

“Pattern, Clink! Your right, my left, like we discussed!” I demand.

My sweat soaks me as Clink walks me through the steps to get over the sensor plated flooring.

“No sweat.” I say as I make it across, sans alarm, snorting at my pun.

“Next?”

“The laser wall is… 3 inches to your left.”

My heart seizes as a blare deafens me. The alarm!

“It might have been 2.5 inches,” Clink gulps.

I turn to run, too late. A hot pinch knocks the breath out of me as a bullet burst from my chest.

Jerking awake, the simulator hums as it winds down. “Clink, run it again! 103rd times a charm!”

Microfiction

About the Creator

Heather Zieffle

I've been writing for a few years, and I'm grateful to have found my passion! I've self-published several sci-fi romance novels on Amazon, but want to branch out into fantasy soon. Any feedback is welcome!

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Reader insights

Nice work

Very well written. Keep up the good work!

Top insights

  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  3. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  1. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  4. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

  5. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

Add your insights

Comments (17)

  • Jay Kantor2 months ago

    Dear Heather - Permission to speak freely? You asked for feedback. Are you a Teacher? I'm so far out of the loop but I realize the F' word is totally colloquially accepted, if for no other reason, as a tip of the tongue filler word; it just doesn't get a rise as it once did long ago. But, I see a lot of 'Atta-Girl' comments may disagree. I'm just an adjunct biz law pro-bono professor; giving back to the community. It is never relevant in my arena to do F' fillers; or workable. Not my intent to make a big issue or insult in any way at all: I will delete it in a few moments so not to embarrass. Perhaps you do this as a Fit-In Tactic: Never write for 'Them'...be you, Heather, a very good thing. Please forgive this intrusion. I say this with respect for your marvelous talent even if it weren't F'WordLess. j.in.l.a.

  • Judey Kalchik 5 months ago

    I always enjoy that moment when the reader finds out the significance of the title. Great reveal!

  • L.C. Schäferabout a year ago

    Well done on the T.S.! 😁

  • Lena Folkertabout a year ago

    lol. This was both intense and well written but also somehow, hilarious at the end. Awesome job. Congrats on TS! Subscribed ;)

  • Iris Harrisabout a year ago

    Hahahha, that was unexpected. Brilliant. I love how captivating it was, and then surprise! Thank you.

  • Tiffany Gordon about a year ago

    Nice writing!

  • Gal Muxabout a year ago

    Very intense... I could hear the tension music playing. Great work building the atmosphere.

  • L.Clabroughabout a year ago

    Love the momentum! Congrats on TS!

  • Kendall Defoe about a year ago

    Impressive work with the brief form!

  • Brenton Fabout a year ago

    What a delightful and engaging read - so deserving of the TS! WELL DONE!

  • Dana Stewartabout a year ago

    Great title and micro - I'd read the 104th's attempt!

  • Babs Iversonabout a year ago

    Simulators!!! Well Done!!! Lovedit!!! Congratulations in T S too!!!❤️❤️💕

  • Nwaekwe uchenna Morganabout a year ago

    Wow,the story is very interested and awesome

  • Heather Hublerabout a year ago

    Oh, how cool!! I loved the surprise at the end. This was such an engaging read :) Congratulations on Top Story!!

  • Congratulations on your Top Story

  • And around it goes again, love the concept

Heather Zieffle Written by Heather Zieffle

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