The Meatless Wonders

What was the best part of Superbowl Sunday? An entire day of shameless snacking, judging commercials, and watching the puppy bowl.

I'm sure the actual playing of the sport was also appealing for some of you unless you're a Kansas City fan. Sorry for your loss.

I can confidently say that I've rarely cared who won a sporting event. But watch parties have the best food, and that's an undeniable fact.

My dream meal is essentially a giant charcuterie board that I can graze on for hours, so you can see why I take advantage of special occasions like this. The key is creating a food combination of healthy, substantial, and straight-up junk.

I've been perfecting my meatless wonder menu for the past year, and some of the hits made it to the game day list. Even though get-togethers are few and far between lately, that's no reason to halt food creativity!

For all you carnivores reading this skeptically (if you've even made it this far), just because I'm a vegetarian doesn't mean I don't try my damndest to mimic my prior meaty favorites. Chili will always be a staple in my house–meat or no meat.

I'm getting quite skilled at it if I do say so myself.

Enough of my ramblings, it's time for the good stuff. I tend to wing it in the cooking department, so these are more like guidelines than by the book recipes. It takes effort to mess up any of these; don't stress too much about it.

The best watch party menu!

1. Fruit Plate

Don't look at me like that; it's classy and delicious. Pinky's up, everyone.

Tips: grapes, strawberries, and apple slices are obviously the best for finger fruits, but I'm a rebel and I go hard with some pineapple and watermelon. Toothpicks are an underrated utensil. I like to add in pickle spears and olives too because I'm fancy like that.

2. Stuffed Mushroom Caps

I will warn you; once these are tasted, it will be demanded that you make them multiple times a year for the rest of your life. They're that good.

Ingredients:

• Baby bella mushrooms, 8oz-16oz

• Minced garlic, 2-3 cloves

• Panko or Italian breadcrumbs, about 1/4 cup

• Cream cheese, about 8oz adjusted to your creaminess preference

• Chopped parsley, leave it out or go nuts.

• Salt

• Pepper

• Thyme

• Onion powder

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 400°.

De-stem the mushrooms, tossing the stems into the bowl of a food processor as you go (you can also chop them by hand).

Place the caps on a nonstick baking tray with the cavity facing up. I like to brush mine with olive oil, but it's not a necessity.

Roughly mince your mushroom stems and get your skillet heating up with 1-2 tablespoons of butter or oil on medium-high heat; dealer's choice.

Sautee the stems for a few minutes until some of the moisture evaporates, then add the cream cheese to the party.

Lower the heat a touch and continue to add the breadcrumbs and seasonings. Taste and season as you go!

Once you're happy with the flavor, green it up with that parsley and mix well.

Get to stuffing those mushroom caps. I like to top mine with a little extra breadcrumbs plus some parmesan.

Bake these little treats for about 20 minutes, and you can garnish them with some parsley if you have any leftover.

*Note: I can almost guarantee you'll have stuffing mixture leftover, and it doubles perfectly as a dip option! It pairs perfectly with baguette slices, but you could dip a shoe in it and it would still taste amazing.

3. Impossible Crock Pot Chili

No longer will I miss meaty chili! The Impossible meat isn't messing around, and it makes a delicious game day classic.

Ingredients:

• Impossible meat, usually found in the meat section at your grocery store

• Drained kidney beans, 1-2 cans of light red or dark red

• Green pepper, 1 (diced)

• Yellow onion, 1 (diced)

• Tomato sauce, 1-2 cans

• Vegetable broth, about 1 cup

• Diced tomatoes, 1 can

• Chili powder

• Garlic powder

• Cumin

• Salt

• Pepper

• A pinch of sugar

Directions:

Heat some olive oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat.

Add your diced onions and saute for about five minutes.

Now add your peppers and let them hang out with the onions for another minute or so.

Time for the Impossible deliciousness. Let the "meat" brown and mix with the peppers and onions. Since the skillet is a little crowded, the browning process will take a few minutes, which means it's the perfect time to start seasoning.

I always start with a healthy amount of cumin and garlic powder, then pepper in the other spices. Including the pepper! (I found it amusing)

The hard part is over. When the impossible meat is ready, transfer it to your crockpot and add the broth, sauce, tomatoes, beans, and more spices!

Don't forget that pinch of sugar.

Let the chili flavors get to know each other in the crockpot for two hours on high. Give it a taste here and there and adjust your seasoning accordingly. After two hours, switch the crockpot to warm set out your favorite chili toppings next to it. Self serve!

*Note: This is another do what makes you happy situation. Add more veggies if you don't like beans. Add more broth and sauce if you prefer a thinner chili. Throw in some cayenne or hot sauce for some heat. Always taste as you go. It's your chili world–we're just living in it.

4. Zesty Pinwheels

These are crazy customizable and easy to eat!

Ingredients:

• Tortillas, I like to use the Mission brand sun-dried tomato flavor

• Cream cheese, 4oz-8oz depending on how creamy you want it

• Sour cream, about 1/2 cup

• Shredded Mozzarella, 1/2 cup-1 cup

• Sun-dried tomatoes, finely chopped so they're easier to bite into

• Chives!

• Spinach, fresh is better

• Siracha, some like it hot

• Salt & pepper

• Lemon juice, half a squeezed lemon will do nicely (use the other half in a cocktail)

Directions:

Remove the spinach stems, give the leaves a good chop, and quickly wilt them in a skillet.

In a large bowl, mix all of your ingredients together according to your flavor preference.

Salt and pepper to taste.

Grab a tortilla and spread a thin layer over the entire surface, roll that sucker up like a sushi roll, and repeat until you're out of the mixture.

Place your rolled tortillas on a tray in the fridge for about an hour, so they don't fall apart when you cut them.

The last step is to slice them into grab and go pieces and enjoy!

*Note: the veggie and cheese options for this recipe are almost endless. Get creative and wow people with your pinwheel skills.

4. Deviled Eggs–Original & Siracha!

Is it even a party without deviled eggs? I added some extra devil this year with the siracha recipe.

Ingredients:

• Hard-boiled eggs

• Yellow mustard

• Mayo

• Siracha (or whatever hot sauce you fancy)

• Salt

• Pepper

• Paprika (regular, smoked, or both!)

Directions:

Boil as many eggs as you want. If you don't want to devil them all in one go, they last in the fridge for about a week.

Peel your eggs. If you're like me, they probably aren't winning any beauty contests.

Split your yolks into two separate bowls if you're choosing to do both flavors.

Add a heaping spoonful of mustard and mayo to each bowl. If it seems dry, just add more!

Season both bowls with salt and pepper to taste.

Depending on how dangerous you're feeling, free pour that siracha into one of the bowls. You do you.

Fill up your boiled egg halves and sprinkle them with the paprika of your choice.

Set aside a few for yourself on a different plate because these get devoured in an instant. Personally, I'm a fan of the smoky goodness.

5. French onion dip:

I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't like French onion dip.

Ingredients:

• Doesn't matter

Directions:

Go to the store and buy it. You're doing enough cooking today.

Serve with wavy chips!

*Note: no one is ever upset about guac and salsa either.

6. Desserts

This year we went simple with chocolate chip cookies. Partly because I forgot, and partly because there were already plenty of food options.

I would give you the recipe I used, but it's not good enough. The search for the perfect cookie recipe continues!

We did have some classic whiskey and coke cocktails if you count booze as a dessert.

*Note: I feel like pudding is a forgotten confection, and it's so easy. Be different; serve pudding.

I hope you enjoyed most or all of these savory suggestions. Cheers to a time when we can host social gatherings in safety, and a happy snacking day to us all!