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PUMPKIN PEER PRESSURE

PPP & PSL

By Natalie SpackPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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It’s the spooooookiest time of the year. October. And that only means one thing:

PUMPKIN. EVERYTHING.

The month when women from all over the world come out of their hiding spots and run to anything pumpkin related. It’s PSL season, baby. The weather is changing, there’s a chill in the air, gusts of wind scatter the leaves everywhere, and all the ladies MUST celebrate. All types of women —influencers, your kindergarten teacher, bloggers, moms, your neighbor down the street, and anyone looking for an excuse to post a selfie—are rushing to starbucks for a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Do they even like the flavor of a PSL? Who knows, but they like the “likes” on their photo.

These women are also satisfying their pumpkin cravings at their local Trader Joe’s, where there are so many pumpkin-flavored items that I’m afraid someone might actually turn into a pumpkin. There’s pumpkin sugar cookies, pumpkin-scented soap, pumpkin- scented candles, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin tea, pumpkin popcorn, actual pumpkins...the list goes on and on. Sometimes I think Trader Joe’s was made just for October and pumpkin season. And, if Trader Joe’s isn’t enough, Bath and Body Works can satisfy the pumpkin-crazed customers. They have pumpkin air fresheners, pumpkin body wash, pumpkin-colored hair dye...(kidding, but maybe there’s a market for that?)

BUT WAIT. What if these women don’t just want to consume pumpkin, they want to WATCH pumpkins on tv too?! Hallmark has got them covered! Hallmark’s fall season is dedicated to pumpkins and fake autumn leaves oddly placed on trees, even though the movie was clearly shot in the summer. The pumpkins and leaves are in every shot and are the real stars, dare I say heroes, of the movie. The actors are simply a subplot. If you’re new to the world of Hallmark and think that they only dedicate a few movies to the glorious season of Autumn, you’re in for a surprise. They have an endless supply of cozy, harvest-time romance movies.

Now, heed my warning or else things can get real scary. Don’t tell anyone you don’t like pumpkin flavor. And definitely DON’T try to be avant-garde and say that the celebration of fall and all the doorstep decor is cheesy. You might lose friends, social status, Instagram fame, your mom’s approval...it’s a risky world out there. The pumpkin peer pressure (PPP) is real. Things can get creepy. If you do find yourself in a compromising situation, just watch out for the scent of pumpkin approaching, that’s how you know the pumpkin lovers are coming to get you.

If I’m being honest, I’ll admit, I LOVE pumpkin flavored treats (not the Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks, they’re too artificially sweet for me) and I especially LOVE the coziness and celebration of fall. I fall (pun intended) for it every year. I too am to blame for the PPP. That’s why I wrote this sketch (attached above). This character is an extreme version of a pumpkin lover who can’t seem to get enough pumpkin.

It begins where she is like any other millennial girl, excited for a PSL...but then it quickly becomes more extreme. She can’t get enough pumpkin. She’s eating it raw, she’s putting it on as lotion, self-tanner, and makeup (“edible makeup”). She’s hugging and kissing the pumpkin. It becomes her whole world. Eventually she tells her friend that they can no longer be friends after the friend admits she doesn’t like Pumpkin Spice Lattes. A tragic ending.

Let’s avoid the insanity of this girl. Let’s help each other out this October. If you’re obsessed with pumpkins, consume as much as you want, use it as makeup or hair-dye, I don’t care, but give people the freedom to dislike pumpkins. And if you are too cool for school and claim anti pumpkin-flavored things, maybe at least TRY to embrace a little pumpkin magic here and there before deciding the Autumnal Scrooge.

humanity
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About the Creator

Natalie Spack

I always have a notebook around so I can write down my thoughts! Anything from scripts, short stories, novels, songs, to poems! I also love comedy and make my own funny sketches on youtube (www.youtube.com/nataliespack)

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