National Eat Outside Day

Today's National Eat Outside Day, and I'm writing this sitting outside listening to the radio, waiting for the grill to get hot enough for me to make some firecracker turkey dogs I meal-prepped earlier in the week. This way, they'd have enough time to marinate in the sauce, and there'd be enough time for all the flavors to marry.

Last summer, at the old house, I made stuff on the grill way more often than what turned out to be the case this year. I'm guessing the pandemic may have had something to do with that.

Everything slowed down to a screeching halt. The neighborhood was a ghost town long before it usually was. Assignments from my day job were few and far between, and it got to the point where the company placed limits on how many we could take on all at once.

They wanted everyone to have their fair share of assignments, which is totally understandable in all fairness to them.

I'd been wanting to try barbecuing for the longest time this year. The barbecue grill was one of the first things I dragged over from the old house, and since it had wheels, that made things way easier. Next up was the two half-bags of charcoal left over from last year.

But it never happened. Just when I'd have the time, one (or more than one) of the following would happen:

1) The weather would go south.

2) Other stuff would come up.

3) Day job picking up.

4) Got sick.

For once I finally got my day job stuff out of the way, while hammering out stuff for the blog, sacrificing sleep to the point I was up for multiple days in a row.

I went out to the backyard, and dusted off the cheapie barbecue grill I got from Wally World for 40 bucks (USD), when the pandemic started. I dragged it to the bus stop behind me as I hauled ass across the two parking lots, picked it up with my good arm, and found an empty spot toward the front with room for the grill.

As soon as we got to the neighborhood, I got off the bus, grill first, and then dragged it behind me for the 15 minute walk from there to the old house.

I hauled out one of the half-empty bags of charcoal from the she-shed, and set it aside. It was one I found in the clearance bin, and wasn't wild about when I tried it at the end of the season.

Why not try it again, if for no other reason than to be rid of this crap once and for all?

This stuff required a bit more work than my standard of the instant-light charcoal, but whatevs.

I went back into my room and grabbed the grill lighter I keep with my candles, and the radio to kill two birds with one stone.

I had a stack of old bills from the cable company we broke up with when we moved, along with old college papers and other documents that should've been gone years ago. I used those to stuff between the "natural" charcoal.

Now it's time to fire up this bad boy and get things cookin'! (Cue the Tim Taylor grunt.)

I had the firecracker turkey dogs ready to roll.

But there was just one problem: that damn charcoal wouldn't light. So I added more paper and held it to the flames, then dropped it through the grate.

I sang along to Clint Black on the radio, and closed the lid to let the fire build. I sat down in the cheapie plastic lawn chair I picked up from the dollar store the day we got the keys to move in. I had my blog journal and my own journal to play catch-up with while I was waiting.

It was way too humid outside to bring Rick with me. Rick's the name I gave my guitar, which is a story for another time if anyone's interested.

I peeked inside the grill's open vent, saw nothing, and smelled nothing.

More paper, and the last of that charcoal went in, and I poked the lighter among the wads of paper and after a bit, I smelled only the tiniest hint of something.

This charcoal officially sucks donkey balls.

It never would've heated up enough to cook anything, so I cut my losses. Whatever paltry flames were in that grill went out when I doused it with the jug of water reserved for my tomato plans.

I took everything back inside, let my firecracker turkey dogs roast in the oven along with the fries I had living in my freezer long enough, and called it a day.

Sure, those firecracker dogs didn't have that barbecued flavor I remembered and loved from last year, but they were still worthy of going on repeat for my meal-prepping.

The weather was starting to turn south yet again, and I didn't like the way it looked. Instead of having dinner outside, I had it inside with both windows open.

Just like what I'd do at the old house before the A/C unit went in the window for the season.

It felt like dining al-fresco, without actually doing it.

No wonder that stupid charcoal was in the clearance bin. I'm 100% convinced that stuff's made of rocks instead of wood like the label says.

No worries. I'll bite the bullet and stick with the charcoal I've used and liked before. It's on sale now, so I'll add it to the list for my next cookout. Now if only I can remember to actually get it, haha.