Why we hang on to Holiday fantasies

In April of 1967 I was 11 years old. It was my first Easter in a different home we had moved into. On that Sunday morning, my younger brother and I walked to a local store but instead of staying on the road, we went through a wooded area that separated the road we lived on from the highway. We followed a well worn path and saw what looked to be animal tracts. We were jumping for joy as we believed we had found the Easter Bunny's trail. Not long after this my grandmother pulled me aside one day and told me I was old enough to know that the Easter Bunny was pure fiction. Instead of being disappointed, I felt grown up and proud that I was old enough to know what my two brothers still did not.

A few months later I was talking with my great grandmother and something came to mind. I asked her why, if there was no Easter Bunny, there was a Santa Claus? She replied that there was not and Santa was fake as well. This time my heart was broken. I ran through the house screaming that there is a Santa as the tears fell from my eyes. Great grandma had said it so matter of factly as if it were not going to pierce my soul. I thought about Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, the poem The Night Before Christmas and stories friends told me of seeing Santa bring their gifts.

Great granny was on a role and it was as if she desired to torture me. She said it was impossible for one man to bring toys to every child in the world on one night but I told her it was magic. For every logical explanation she gave me, I had a counterpoint because I could not deal with the truth. After this encounter, I began talking to my friends in a sly sort of way to find out if they still believed. I know today it sounds crazy that any child as old as 11 still believed in Santa and the Easter Bunny, but that was the culture I grew up in. I could tell by the looks I was given by a few older girls that they already knew but were keeping quiet for the sake of the younger children,

I wondered how and why adults lied to children this way yet I continued the myth with my own children. I found it fun to set out milk and cookies on Christmas Eve and see the glee in my children's faces on Christmas Day. I loved the look on their faces as they unwrapped presents and played with toys. I enjoyed seeing them searching their Easter baskets for goodies, all the while knowing a day of reckoning was coming because of my lies. I think back now on how as a child I sat on Santa's lap yet had a coworker who said she never believed.

She said her own mother told her that it was ridiculous to believe a white man was bringing toys to black children every December 25. I thought this to be a bit racist, but over the years I found out that a number of African American families had told this to their children. I grew up in a home where family members wrapped gifts for each other but items just sitting under the tree were said to be from Santa. If this is what you are told, then it is what you believe and you pass it on. As an adult people will sometimes ask what Santa brought someone for Christmas but the understanding is that it is symbolism.

What makes some of us continue to fantasies even when we find out there is no Tooth fairy, Santa, Elves, reindeer, or Easter Bunny. We are actually lying to children and then breaking the hearts of some when we expose ourselves. Some adults simply desire children to enjoy the holidays as they did when they were young. I think about the two children singing "When Christmas Comes to Town" in The Polar of the Express. The little girl is singing about Christmas cheer, putting up the tree, opening presidents and fun with the family. The little boy sings that these are things he has heard about but never really seen.

The myths, folklore and outright lies associated with Christmas and Easter are possibly a way for adults to relive their fondest childhood memories and have a moment where their current situations do not take center stage. It's a way to escape reality while doing something nice for the children. They say that old habits die hard and perhaps it is simply a habit that cannot be broken. Possibly some adults remember the day they first were told that there was no Santa or Easter Bunny. Maybe like me, it stung for a while, and then they felt as if there had been some type of right of passage.

Unfortunately today, parents and grandparents do not have full control over what their children learn. Thanks to the Internet young boys and girls can be introduced to worlds their families would prefer them never to know about. Even though it was all lies, there was something special generations ago about coming of age and learning things the younger kids had to wait their turn for. Still, the guy in the red suit and the bunny are big business and the holidays are the best time of the year for retailers. This is why we see Santa and the Easter Bunny inside of malls.

We, humans, love fantasy and make believe and for those reasons will probably always tell the young among us some tall tales that one day they will find out are true. In a way, I feel bad for those who never experienced that world of wonder and surprise and expectation. At the same time, I hurt for the ones like the little boy in Polar express who waited but Christmas never came to their house. Depending on which side of the tracks you are on, the myths of Santa and the Easter Bunny can make you or break you and even leave you somewhere in between.