Why I quit a 13-year-old friendship…

I’ve met her when we were the first year of uni, and we didn’t hit it off immediately. I was the wild one with no zipper on my mouth, and she was the good girl that never stepped out of line, that had faith in God.

You see during that first year we bearly exchanged a few words, it was only at the beginning of the second year when we both decided to not like a colleague of ours that we started our friendship. And so it began, we finished uni and actually worked in two companies together. I moved abroad, and brought her with me a few years later, helping her with housing, and prepping her cv, applying for her to jobs I knew she wanted.

And that was the beginning of the end. You see when she started her new job in the UK and moved in with me until she could find a place of her own, that is the moment I met my now-husband. It seems that misery likes company, and yet I did not.

The thing I didn’t mention is the fact that my friend, let’s call her Didi, she didn’t want to look for a relationship, just wanted to focus on her career, which is her prerogative, and I completely supported her for. And by the time she had come over, I already had my career settled and was looking to find someone to build a family with. So we were both at different times in our life.

So when my hubby appeared, I only wanted to explore my relationship with him, and I guess she felt left out. I did not exclude her from my life, but at one point we have gotten to a relationship of me listening to her complain about everything bad in her life, and that meant everything, and me trying to inspire some positivity. At one point I decided I needed a break, and just stopped calling her, and she did as well I guess, and this break took my entire pregnancy and a few months of my little one's life.

And then I realized I missed my friend, my friend that I used to have in uni, that would be funny, and quirky, and say sarcastic jokes, that only we got. She used to be my best friend until I met my hubby. And if you know anything about motherhood, it is pretty lonely. I was hoping she would have settled, and made a group of friends, maybe finished her career climbing, and be happy with her life. Unfortunately, I could not have been more wrong. It seems that she had gotten even more isolated from the world, and more negative about everyone and everything. And to her everything that was bad around her, had nothing to do with her, but everything to do with other people.

I loved her, and I still do. Like you can love a sibling. So I decided to try and get her back to the positive and happy woman she used to be. I used to call her daily, call her over at our house, try to invite her out with us and our other friends. Because I thought honestly she could go back to the positive woman I originally met.

I am saddened to say in my multiple attempts I have discovered that she actually had ended up even more negative then I originally thought, I feel like she seriously hated most people. It pains me to say, but I’ve removed myself from our relationship.

I realised that I was starting to see the world in a negative way, and that is not someone I want to be, that is not someone I want my daughter to have around, or learn to be. I still wish her all the best in the world, and I’m sure she doesn’t realise what harm she is causing herself.

Maybe I should have tried harder, maybe I’m wrong for stepping aside. But I feel like it is for the best for me and my tinny family. We all have our down moments, but we all need to see the good in the world otherwise, we will forget to love life and ourselves. Life is about wanting more, but also wanting happiness, and sharing it with others. When that becomes a toxic environment due to any reason it is best to review your priorities, and walk away, it is called damage control, and it hurts even do it is for the best.

Drifting apart can happen with anyone, but that doesn’t mean you don’t miss them and wish that things were different.