Where's the bear

Where’s the bear?! Giggling, as this is a very, very vague memory. In fact, baby vague. I was three years old and I didn’t even know that a three year old could have memories, but this is one of the youngest memories I have. I don’t think it goes back any further than this for me. I couldn’t tell you who wrote the book, I couldn’t tell you much about it, but only my toddler perception of it. The small 1980 vintage six, thick, hard-cover pages had a picture of a little bear hiding in different places of a room, nursery or somewhere in a house and the question asked on every page was, “Where’s the bear?!”

I’m sure there were other words in the storybook but the story was only read to me by my older sister, Isa, who was seven years older. I would sit on her lap and she would lean over me and ask the question, “Is this the bear!?” -pointing to something else in the picture. I remember in my child-like mind, I wasn’t too sure. “Is this a trick question?” -Ha-ha. I would nod yes, and she would tickle me quick and say “That’s not the bear!”

I wasn’t sure if I was wrong or right but I just remember the feeling. The time spent, each repeated night that we would read this book. Though, I didn’t know the story, anytime she put me on her lap and pulled the book out I knew it was going to be an enjoyable time. And that’s all that I knew.

What I knew, was the little bear was more like a teddy bear, not a wild bear, close to the image I chose for the picture above and it would peak out of different corners.

There was also a little green stuffed alligator in the toy box in the story and I remember pointing at it from time to time just because I liked it. I drew a lot of attention to it, wishing I had it in real life. I still kind of do.

Then there was the shoe. My sister’s memory of this when we talk about it now is the shoe. She would ask “ Where’s the bear!?” And I would point at the shoe every single time. “ That’s not the bear!” She just remembers me laughing with the drool hanging out of they side of my pacifier. She said I thought it was the funniest thing. “One of these days you’re gonna get it right!”

I remember the house we lived in and the exact corner in which we would read the book together. I am not sure if it was a rocking chair or a recliner, but we were definitely kicked back in something relaxing, but now that I think about it, it was probably not a rocking chair, as my mother would never own such a thing, we were city people that’s for sure, but that’s how I hark back to it.

And the last thing I remember, was the sweet moment of fun for a three year old.

This bedtime booklet had made a memory of a lifetime, as I am now in my thirties. Baby books and bedtime stories hold magic in them as we toss them in the book bins as if they are just meaningless objects.

Now, when I play with my nieces who are three to four years of age, or read them bedtime stories, I return to this memory of when I was a child. It is a great reminder that when I am spending time with them even though they may answer the question wrong, or may seem like they don’t know what’s going on, I just know they are enjoying it as much as an adult enjoys a night out on the town!

Savoring each and every moment that the child-mind is made to savor, comprehend and enjoy is what each and every special age was created for.

Though, at the time I may not have been able to express in words how I felt, I will always remember the feeling when I remember the book- Where’s the bear.