When the World Stops Spinning

Her phone landed with a thud on the carpet as her knees buckled beneath her. He rushed towards her from the doorway where he had been waiting, listening in silence. With arms outstretched in a slow-motion sprint across the room, he caught her by the waist before she crumbled.

He pulled her face into his chest as if to shield her from the reality of the news. His long arms wrapped tightly around her quivering frame, engulfing her with every ounce of compassion in his soul. He wanted to absorb her agony with his whole being. She tried to lift her arms to hold him, but they felt like lead. She grasped at the back of his shirt, her fingers fiercely gripping the cloth like she was terrified he could slip away. Heaviness swelled in her chest, rising to her throat. Her muffled scream was muted by the shelter of his warm body. He rested his chin on the top of her head as he felt his shirt dampening with her tears. Here they stayed, as the waves of grief washed over.

He stared at the soft rain falling outside the window across the room. It was a window that overlooked the garden she had planted that spring with her father. It was a window to a world that had just stopped spinning.

She forced a shuddering inhale and released it slowly. He ran his hand slowly across her back in encouragement. She took another breath, steadier and deeper. His hands never left her body as he slowly loosened his embrace. He placed his lips on her brow with the same tenderness as when he first met their child. He closed his eyes and froze in this kiss, focusing his mind on the sweet smell of her hair, the sound of the gentle rain, the stillness. He wanted so badly to stay strong for her.

She took another deep breath and lifted her face to meet his. The sight of her bright blue eyes now framed in red and dimmed with pain broke his resolve. He felt his own eyes begin to well with tears and he quickly pressed his lips to hers in a desperate attempt to steel himself again. She sniffled loudly, struggling to breathe. She pulled away abruptly. They locked their foreheads together as they both laughed awkwardly at the messiness of their raw humanity.

He stepped back, hands still on her shoulders, and forced a gentle smile. She smiled painfully back at him. Here they stayed, studying each other’s faces, reaching out for the familiarity and comfort of each other. He saw her red, tear-soaked cheeks and runny nose. She saw his glistening eyes and the aching smile on his pursed lips. They each saw the person who had always stood by their side with unwavering resolve, through years of triumph and heartache. They saw Life threaded together by resilience. They saw Love.

He leaned in again, kissing one cheek at a time before landing another gently on her forehead. She sighed an exhausted sigh. He took both her hands and guided her to sit on the couch. She slowly lowered herself, perching tensely on the edge. She sniffled again. He placed his finger on the tip of her nose playfully before quickly whisking away out of the room.

Alone, she turned her gaze to the window. She could see the rain begin to pool in between the rows of the garden. It was the garden she had joyously planted that spring with her dad. A passion project they accomplished together, now abundant with fresh vegetables and herbs. Her mind began to race. How could I step foot in there? Who will tend my father’s garden now? The heaviness returned to her chest. Her eyes began to spill over just as her shoulders were draped in the soft warmth of her favorite blanket. She wasn't alone long. He had returned.

She giggled through her tears as he rounded the corner of the couch, precariously balancing two cups of hot tea with a box of tissues pinned under his elbow. He set his gifts down on the coffee table before settling in close beside her, adjusting the blanket to wrap snuggly around her shoulders and over her legs. She put her hand on his knee and gave it a squeeze. He placed his hand over hers, entwining their fingers. Here they sat, listening to the rain, feeling the safety and security of each other’s presence.

She turned away to look out the window towards the garden once again. He wrapped both arms around her, pulling her back to recline on his chest. She listened to the rhythm of his heart, soothing her with its steady beat. What she couldn’t hear was the vow his heart made to hers at that same moment.

I will be strong for both of us right now, my dear. I will never let your father's garden, or our love, go untended.