What should I do if I can't help but yell at my child?

Who has not been yelled at by parents when they were young, but still came through?" The parent who says this is because there is always a "perfect child" living in his heart, thinking that children should develop in the direction of his ideal, so when they find that he does not listen, they will use the way to yell to teach.

But this way of education is often ineffective, the child will continue to commit the next time. For parents, yelling at their children is only a minute, but it can bring them a lifetime of harm, it is time to think about how to educate them with care.

When the child on the wall scribble, the father can not do anything, friends do so immediately solve

When a friend came home for a visit, the three-year-old was drawing on the wall.

The father told the child, "You are not allowed to draw on the wall."

But the child did not listen and continued to draw.

The father said to the child again, "Try drawing again for me."

The child listened and drew more vigorously.

The situation seemed awkward, so the friend calmed down the father who was about to lose his temper, took a piece of paper and handed it to the child, saying.

"Walls are not for drawing, paper is for drawing."

The child happily took the paper and sat down on the bench to draw.

This simple case shows that many times children do not intentionally make mistakes, and know what to do and what not to do, while adults do not think so much at this time, directly yelling education.

The effect of yelling education is minimal, when the child does not listen, the mother may want to try this.

1, the requirements of the child, concise

The more lengthy and tedious the instructions, the less execution.

Why many disobedient children at home to the army have become very obedient?

Undeniably, the main reason is that the army is the most disciplined rule of the living society, talking about all actions to follow the command, the military to obey orders as a vocation, and disobeying orders can not.

However, there is also a very important reason because the army instructor's instructions are simple and clear, resolute and crisp, never delayed, and never mixed with the task is not emotion.

As a simple example, one way to tell a child to pack his or her school bag is the same way that happens every day, mixing demands with gunfire:

"I've told you several times that a little girl is sloppy all day and throws her books around. Don't you know you should clean up after yourself?"

Such words in the ears, who are rebellious, want to do but are also lazy to do.

Another way is to just talk about the requirements: "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, you only have 5 minutes to clean up your school bag."

In contrast, if we were children, wouldn't we be more willing to enforce it?

So, when we complain about our children's disobedience, we have to notice that our children are our mirrors, and our children's problems reflect our problems. We have to reflect on what we say, the timing, the occasion, the way we speak, and the tone of voice, are we able to make our children receptive? Think differently, if we were a child, would we listen?

Parents talking to their children must resolve the negative emotions in advance, filter out the impulse to count accusations, and talk about the matter. And the requirements put forward to the child must be positive, specific, enforceable, can be landed, and verifiable.

2、Criticism of children, on the matter

Don't comment on what kind of person your child is because of a small matter, and don't blame and make derogatory and disgusting comments about your child's behavior. This way the child will fall into self-denial and become inferior.

Think about it, we adults all make mistakes sometimes. If we accidentally knocked over a cup and were accused by others, "You can't even do such a simple thing, you're so useless!"

Would we admit it? Would we be happy? Would we be confident?

In addition, when criticizing, let the child know what is wrong. Many times adults feel that if they say to the child, he can understand.

As long as you say it the right way, he must understand; just express the child stupid, the child can not change, this time to change the next time will commit.

Tell him exactly what is wrong, tell him the specific thing, and do not humiliate and judge the child's character.

For example, if your child is littering, don't say, "Why are you so disobedient?

Say directly: "Baby, don't throw the garbage." The child will clearly understand where he or she is wrong.

3. When you make a mistake, give your child a guiding choice

For example, regarding the matter of watching TV without doing homework, you may want to say to your child.

It is not right to watch TV without doing your homework, now you are given two choices, one is to sit at your desk for 5 minutes and do your homework properly, and then you can still watch TV for an hour every day; the second is that you can watch TV for another 2 hours now, but after that, you can't watch TV for a week. Choose for yourself!

4, the most critical, parents should learn to put down the body

Emotions are a kind of influence from the inside out, very infectious. If parents often lose their temper, children will gradually become impatient, not only to parental resistance, or rebellion, peers will not be friendly, and will not interpersonal interaction.

Only when parents are in control of their emotions can they have the patience to listen to their children's explanations after making mistakes and have enough sense to enlighten them.